Yesterday about 4:00 pm I went to the emergency room with severe chest pains. Nine hours later I was admitted for the night. After a cat scan, numerous blood work, a stress test followed by more pictures - the doctor said it was not a heart attack.
I'm home now and glad to be feeling better. A little weak, but much better. Prognosis is good and we will work on few things they found, but I'm doing good.
In the middle of fear I had a wonderful experience that I would like to share.
The Bible says that God is everywhere. It says that God knows when even the smallest sparrow falls. The knowledge that God cares is all around us. It's in science and the medical field. It's in the sunrise, the surprise of children and the quickening of our souls when music fills the air.
The hardest place to find God is in the middle of fear. As our mind deals with the situation our body goes into overtime trying to release the pressure. We sweat, tremble, shake and cry. Our blood pressure goes up and our mind goes wild with the "what ifs". Worry takes over and it's not long until we are consumed with fear. We pray, but our prayers seem to hang in the air with little hope of reaching heaven.
I was in the middle of one of those experiences. I was scared about the outcome of my visit and I found it hard to feel God. After an especially hard pain I closed my eyes and used every part of my being to concentrate on God. It took several attempts. It was soft at first. Just a feeling that calmed me. With every breath it began to increase until finally an impression filled my head. It was soft and sweet like the pure sensation of holding a newborn baby. The only difference was that I was the baby being held by the hand of God.
"Debbie, I am here." I relaxed at the thought of his presence. The tremble ceased and the tears slowed. God was there. His presence was overwhelming and soothing. What I needed for the moment, he released to me. Never more than I needed. Just enough.
Through all the tests, the pokes, the iv's, the blood work - He was there. I kept repeating over and over, "It's me and you Lord. It's me and you."
Never forget that God is everywhere. Never forget that you are his child and He loves you.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, whisper His name and He is there.
God loves you,