We munched on our chicken and watched Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. It was a good movie with a wonderful message. If you haven't seen it, you must.
I won't spoil it for you. The movie centers around a firefighter and his wife. He takes great care on the job but home life is a constant argument.
I hope this movie helps a lot of people take an outside look at what they are doing in their homes. Bickering, fussing, calling names, fighting are all code for "I had a lousy day and I need you to serve me and make me feel better - or I'm so frustrated with the outside world that I'm going to take it out on you."
I'm wondering....If mom had a lousy day and Dad had a lousy day and the kids all had lousy days - who mends the hurts? Who interprets the words and explains the codes? Who makes the home a refuge (shelter or protection from danger) from the world rather than a refuse (garbage) of the world?
Did you know that it takes 10 positive statements to correct one negative picture in a child's mind? All that garbage you are spewing out at your child will have an effect on his life. All the bickering and garbage you send your husband or wife's way will change the direction of your marriage.
Everything that comes out of your mouth will change your circumstances.
"But Debbie, can't I ever be allowed to have a lousy day?"
Sure....just don't subject the people you love to a self-esteem pounding. The proper way to handle it is to walk through the door with a sad face. If no one asks about your day, go to your spouse, put your arms around him/her and say...."I had a terrible day. Can I just hug you for a moment? It's so wonderful to come home and know I get to look at your loving eyes."
Boom.....they are on the page with you. Even if their day was bad, you can hug and love and be there for each other.
If it's not working that way in your home - practice. Practice love, attention and holding your tongue. Words will change everything. Mean words will make the situation worse and kind words will make the situation better.
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. -- Proverbs 16:32
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. -- Eccl. 7:9
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. --Proverbs 25:28
God loves you,