Friday, November 30, 2007
Here's a great recipe for a busy Saturday
She works nights and daytime with her busy family can be difficult to navigate. She writes:
It's 10 AM and I worked all night so my bedtime is soon! As for the recipe...I serve a lot of "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun" (McDonald's) - America's Roast Beef (Arby's) - the Chihuahua's food (Taco Bell) - Mr. Sander's best (KFC), etc.
With my sleep/work schedule and getting tired of hearing someone always say "I don't like that!" at EVERY meal..., I kind of lost a desire to make home cooked meals. I know I am not doing my family any favors by hiring the fast food chefs. I guess I do have one favorite desert I/we like, it just doesn't get made very often in this house!
Here it is..."Magic Pumpkin Buckle" From the Kitchen of : Cori's Kitchen...yeah right!!!
CRUST: 1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract.
FILLING: 3 cups pumpkin
1 cup evaporated milk
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon EACH of ground ginger, cloves and nutmeg
TOPPING: 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 tablespoons sugar
CRUST: Pour butter into a 13"x9"x2" baking dish; set aside. In a bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Stir in milk and vanilla until smooth. Pour into the pan/dish.
FILLING: In a mixing bowl, beat the pumpkin (poor pumpkin!), milk and eggs. Combine the remaining filling ingredients; add to pumpkin mixture. Pour over crust mixture (do not stir).
TOPPING: Dot with butter and sprinkle with sugar.
Bake at 350 degrees for 55-60 minutes or until knife inserted near the center comes out clean and top is golden brown. YIELD: 12 servings.
A neighbor shared a helping of her batch but it was more the consistency of brownies! Still tasted good enough for me to ask for the recipe. In fact, I thought they were SUPPOSED to turn out that way until I made some myself. One of us definitely did something different than the other!
Anyway, I think what my family liked about this recipe besides the good taste, is that the crust (which you remember went into the pan first) rises to the top during baking forming a rich topping. My kids really thought that was cool when they were younger!
How Cool Cori! I remember busy days when I went the route of "two all beef patties". I think we have all been there and done that. With the way you work perhaps there is more benefit in going that route than it is to lose you to a day of cooking.
Thanks for the fun recipe! Hope you all have a wonderful Saturday and keep those stories coming!
God loves you,
Debbie
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thanks for all the recipes!
I'm preparing some of them for publication.
I can't wait to try them all! Keep them coming.
The more I browse through the book the more I love it! I can't wait to give it to one of you.
For those of you who are just joining us, you can participate in an on line contest. Send me a recipe and a paragraph about why it means so much to you or your family and you might win a cookbook by Faith Ford, "Cooking with Faith".
Good luck all you wonderful cooks.
Someone suggested that we should make a cookbook of all these wonderful recipes. Hum....maybe so.
Remember the picture of Mom and Dad fussing over the Lemon Cake? Well....last night I waited until everyone went to bed and I grabbed the last piece. I savored every bite remembering all the snitches each family member had swiped over the years. I smiled as I remembered coming down the steps one night and catching one of the kids chomping on a huge piece of the cake.
I remembered how many times I've watched Mom stirring and working on the cake. We might work on the decorations or play a game or watch a movie, but when that warm lemon smell filled the entire house and we heard those wonderful words, "Okay, it's done. All it needs is a little time in the fridge..." - the plans to snitch could be seen in every one's eyes.
Here's the cause of all those wonderful memories....
Maggie's Lemon Cake
1 Box Duncan Hines Butter Cake Mix
1 pkg. Lemon Jello
4 eggs lightly beaten
1/2 cup Wesson Oil
1 cup hot water
2 tsp. lemon extract
Mix all ingredients together and beat with electric mixer 3-4 minutes until smooth and thick.
Stir in 1 cup chopped pecans.
Bake in Bunt pan at 350 degrees for 1 hour
Cool cake
Glaze
Take 1-1/2 cups powdered sugar and mix with 1 tsp. Lemon extract
Add water by 1 tbls. at a time until you get the right consistency to drizzle over cake.....(Unless you are papaw and then you will double the glaze.)
Decorate with whole pecans.
Ummm.....ENJOY! I have !
God loves you,
Debbie
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Let's come together
I don't make fun of contemporary music. That's just not fair. But I do know a lot of families that are split on the issue and it causes great stress within the home. I'm also working on an article that discusses both sides of the issue. Many churches are splitting over music issues and that's just wrong. My heart breaks for everyone that is being hurt.
David Phelps is my favorite artist. He sang with the Gaithers for years. Several years ago he went out on his own. He's contemporary - but I like him. He presents a great mix of both the classical side and the contemporary.
I just purchased his Christmas CD - One Wintry Night. I love it!
If you want a Christmas CD that will appeal not only to your classical side but to your children as well, I encourage you to get this CD. Berean Christian Bookstores has it on sale. If you want to support this site, you can get it from Amazon.
I think you will love the contemporary version of the Hallelujah Chorus. It's called Hallelujah!
Be prepared to dance around and be glad that it's Christmas.
God loves you,
Debbie
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
I love home-made
Monday, November 26, 2007
The Best Gift
Sunday, November 25, 2007
A quiet house
I hope your week-end with the family has been fun. I also hope you have had a restful week-end. You know I didn't hit the mall, but there was a lot happening with the family. We have always had a lot of traditions for the holidays. I'll be telling you about them later. But this year traditions had to take a back seat to new work schedules. That's very sad for me and yet the family reassured me that those traditions will return next year.
With Amie's move to Florida and Ken just getting started on his new job, their time at home is limited. Jamie is still working hard to recover from his accident and there simply isn't enough time to do everything.
The house seems unusually quiet without the children. Not really sad...just a little confusing. I keep wondering why I feel a little down. Why can't I just enjoy the ability to rest? Why don't I just sit back and enjoy that I will have a little more time? Why don't I spend some time working on one of my novels?
I think the answer is in the fact that we trust our emotions too much. We think if we "feel" something that it must be true. With our emotions at a frenzy during this month, we can't expect them to tell us the truth. We are overworked, hyped up on sugar, sleep deprived and overzealous about trying to get so much done in 25 days. When our life seems like it's not meeting our expectations of the "perfect" Christmas, we get scared. That fear translates into mild sadness or even full blown depression.
How can you fight it?
1. Understand that emotions "lie". Don't let yourself dwell on those emotions. Instead center on what you do have and how much it means to you.
2. Get plenty of sleep.
3. Drink plenty of water.
4. Fun for the holidays does not depend on how much you splurge. Try to eat as normal as possible.
5. Relax. Whatever you can't do this year can become top of the list for next year. Take your list of priorities and try to whittle them down to five or ten things that you know you can accomplish. If the rest of your list happens, great! If it doesn't, don't get upset. It wasn't a top priority anyway.
6. It's not your job to bring Christmas joy to everyone on your list. It is their job to "receive" Christmas. In other words...you are not responsible for the "bah humbug" of every person on your list. Do your best and remember them with love. Their reception of joy is their responsibility.
7. This is the most important. Say "Merry Christmas" as much as you can to as many people as you can. Say it with gusto. Say it with the excitement of a child. Say it with a belly laugh. Pretty soon your mind will start to believe you.
And to help your stress for Christmas I'm going to share my "Turkey" recipe. I feel so sorry for people who stress out over the turkey. It's easy to have a wonderful tasting moist turkey that falls off the bone.
If you have the extra cash and can purchase the following roaster, your turkey will take only minutes to prepare. If you don't have the extra cash, you can use tin foil. Thank you so much for using this link. It helps support this site and a portion of the proceeds will go to fund scholarships for Family Training Center classes. I've also included a general link so you can do all your amazon shopping through this site.
Debbie's Turkey....guaranteed to be the best you've ever tasted!
Buy any turkey - even the cheapest you can find. It really doesn't matter.
If you want to thaw the turkey you can. If you run out of time...don't worry.
Place turkey in the roaster. If you are using tin foil, cut two sheets of foil long enough to cover the bottom of the pan and still fold up and over the turkey. Lay the foil slightly overlapping in the bottom of the pan. Place turkey in the pan and check to be sure you can fold the foil up and over the turkey. Kind of like wrapping a baby in a blanket. Foil isn't necessary in the roaster.
Take one stick of butter and slice into squares. Place two squares in each wing cavity. Put several squares in the open breast cavity. (If frozen, you can do this later) Lift the hind skin and place several squares in that cavity. Place four squares across the breast meat. Salt, pepper and add any other spices you like to the outside.
Bring foil up and fold together. Continue making folds until it rests on top of the turkey. Close the ends. For roaster simply secure lid and put in 400 -450 oven. Bake according to size. I usually get a 20 pound turkey and it takes between 4-6 hours.
If the turkey is frozen I start it the evening before. I bake it at 300 for two-three hours. This will warm it up enough so I can take out the giblets and neck. PLEASE BE CAREFUL. THE TURKEY WILL BE HOT. I use tongs and plenty of oven mitt. Once the giblets are out I put butter in those cavities and more on top of the turkey. Close it up and continue to bake for another 4-6 hours. It's great to put the turkey on while you sleep. It fills the entire house with a wonderful smell. Just be sure and set your clock so you won't overcook.
I've been doing this for 33 years and it has never failed. The steam bakes the turkey to a luscious golden brown - just right for snitching!
God loves you,
Debbie
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Shopping Frenzy
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thank Giving
Have you ever had something good come out of something bad? Memaw makes a wonderful Lemon cake. She "drizzles" lemon icing over the cake and then adds more pecans for decoration. It's not only beautiful but it taste like heaven on earth. It's my favorite cake. I won't let her give me the recipe because I know I would sit and eat the entire thing. She has never made a bad one or had any trouble with it. The only complaint comes from Papaw. He loves the cake but hates the "drizzle". He loves the lemon frosting but says there just isn't enough of it. He would rather she make 10 times the frosting and completely cover the cake.
Never be afraid of mistakes. Mistakes are often an opportunity for us to find creative solutions. Mistakes often taste better, look better or work better than the originals. Be thankful for what you do have and make the best of what you don't.
Even our dogs know the opportunity of mistakes. A slip of our hand or a cut where we shouldn't winds up to be a snitch for the dogs. They wait for something to hit the floor. Within seconds they retrieve it with a smack of their lips. Mistakes can be fun.
God loves you,
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Where do you live? Where do you work? How do you know Debbie? Would you like some more Cinnamon rolls? We are so glad to have you here, can you stay for supper?
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
How God values old age
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Rainbow Jello
Marie’s Rainbow Jello
8 3oz. Packages of jello
1 carton of cool whip
½ pint of sour cream
Mix cool whip and sour cream together (beat with beater) set aside.
Mix one package of jello with one cup boiling water. Stir. Reserve ¾ cup jello.
To the remaining ¼ cup jello, add about 3 heaping tablespoons of the cream mixture.
Pour cream and jello mixture into 9x13 glass pan, chill until firm - 45 minutes to one hour.
After it is firm, pour the reserved over the chilled layer. Chill until firm.
Repeat process until you have used all the jello and cream.
Any combination of colors will present the rainbow look. On certain holidays I may only use two or three colors. For example, on the Fourth of July I only used Red, White and Blue.
Children of all ages love this recipe, especially when topped with Cool Whip! Yum.
Thanks Marie!
Only one more day until Thanksgiving. Are you thinking about a recipe and story to send in? The deadline is December 20th. I can't wait to hear your special story and taste your recipes.
I know it's time for the holidays when my parents arrive. They will stay with me until after Christmas.
Hello, Memaw and Papaw! I'm so glad to see you! Come on in!
All the way from Georgia. Thanks for coming!
God loves you,
Debbie
Saturday, November 17, 2007
An Invitation
You are cordially invited to my house for the holidays!
Beginning Thanksgiving day I will be posting "Christmas at my house" everyday through New Years. You and I will become great friends! I hope you will join me every morning.
I will be interviewing everyone in the family, posting all my recipes, pictures of decorations and special traditions.
I will also be posting pictures of anyone who wants to participate. So grab your camera, take a picture of your family and send it to debbie@debbiejansen.com. Just like I would take you around and introduce you to people at a party, I will post your picture and introduce you to my website friends.
You can win a special book. I am looking for the yummiest Christmas recipe ever! For this contest you will need to submit a recipe with a short story of why it's your favorite. My mom Maggie, my good friend Viki and I will be the judges. We will share as many stories and recipes as we can. Once we have picked a winner we will share the recipe and a picture of us enjoying it.
The winner will receive a copy of the book "Cooking with Faith" by Faith Ford of the sit com Hope and Faith. I love this book. Not only does it have wonderful southern recipes, but she has included fun tidbits about her childhood. Her grandparents were Baptist ministers and she talks a lot about dinner-on-the-ground. I know you will love this book as much as I do.
Keep watching the website for more ways to win free stuff! Good grief yawl, it's Christmas....got to have presents.
I'm busy cleaning, cleaning and cleaning for the holidays. Mom and Dad arrive on Monday and Ken and Amie arrive Wednesday. Oh my are we gonna have fun.
Put on some Christmas music, fix a cup of orange Cinnamon tea and dream about the next six weeks. I can't wait to share my Christmas with you.
God loves you,
Debbie
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A Goldfish and his God
We have a goldfish. I guess that's what he is. He's huge. I guess it's a He. Anyway, Amie bought him for Jamie almost 6 years ago. He cost 27 cents and at that time was tiny. Now he looks good enough to eat except that you can't eat something you've known for a while. Well...I can't anyway.
I try to keep his tank clean but this has to be the messiest fish on the planet. It's a real chore to scrub all the algae and rinse the rocks and get the tank clear and clean again. It only lasts about 10 days and then it's so green or brown (it alternates color) that you can't see through the water. I feel sorry for this beautiful gold fish with it's fancy tail having to swim around in icky water. I moan and groan about it, but I always feel good when the tank is clean and the fish is happy.
Today there is too much to do. The fish will have to wait. As I pick up the food container he follows my hand to the top of the water and begins "slurping" for food even before I drop it in. He knows the routine. My form comes to the edge of the tank, the orange container moves, the top on the tank makes a snap noise as it opens and food drops from above. He's familiar with the routine. He trusts my hand. He has faith that I will deliver what he needs just as he needs it.
In that moment, I am his God. I am everything to him. He is hungry and I am supplying his need.
Don't think I'm getting crazy here. I don't believe that in any way we are Gods and that we are somehow on the level as the almighty. That's false teaching and I don't believe in that.
But the situation did cause me to think about how we definitely are God's instruments. How many times every day do we do his work?
If you care for animals - you are doing God's work.
If you care for friends or family - you are doing God's work.
If you give a cup of cold water in his name - you are doing God's work.
If you volunteer at church even if it's only to sweep the floor - you are doing God's work and taking care of His house.
Every time we take care of something or someone in this world, we are the hands or mouth or feet of God.
How many times do we betray who God is by letting people down with our bad attitudes, nasty behavior or just lack of concern?
My parents like to eat out. Everywhere they go they talk to the people around them. When they eat - everyone is a friend. And in those moments when they smile, give a word of encouragement, touch a hand and say a prayer - they are doing priceless work for God. We tease them, but it's the truth - they are missionaries to the mall.
My husband is tired and weary with his job. Retirement is still in the future. He's been put in charge of the trucks that will be hauling the shoe boxes for Franklin Graham's "Christmas Child Project". It will require extra hours at work and a lot of stress during an already stressful workload. We watched a video on the responses from last years project. We both were in tears. Ron is doing God's work even though he is in an office creating the plans that will get all the semi's to the right place on time.
Every mother that stops what she is doing and takes the time to hold her child and pray for their little cut or broken heart - she is doing God's work.
Perhaps we would all feel better and catch a glimpse of the bigger picture if we sat down and counted the many times in each day that we touch others.
How many people are watching you and waiting for you to move your hand toward their life and sprinkle God's love into their hungry hearts?
I love the story about a preschooler who followed Mom around all day. He was so close on her heals that she almost tripped over him several times. Finally frustrated at his behavior she snapped, "Allen, why can't you go play somewhere else? Mommy is busy."
Little Allen looked so heartbroken and sad. Mom bent down beside him and continued, "Okay, bud...what's wrong?"
"My Sunday school teacher said that I should follow in Jesus footsteps. But I can't see him, so I was following yours."
WOW!
You are SO important.
God needs you.
You need God.
God loves you very much,
Debbie
Friday, November 9, 2007
Let the Sonshine in !
We arrived rather late last night and everyone else is still asleep. Ken rented a darling little house and I decided to get up and watch the news. I'm sitting in what will be a very nice living room surrounded by unpacked boxes and several remote controls that take more talent than the pilot of a 747 could provide. Realizing that there will be no news I grab my laptop so I could write my friends.
I get a daily e-mail from American Family Association. I appreciate the way they keep me informed of Christian injustice. Sitting here in a quiet, semi-dark room with all the blinds drawn I read an e-mail about an 86 year old woman who will not be allowed to receive and display an angel on top of her Christmas tree. I clicked the button to send my hot little e-mail to a senator in hopes that I can keep this elderly woman from experiencing such a ridiculous attack on her freedoms. I whisper a simple prayer for her circumstances.
Feeling somewhat connected to a larger cause, I let out a sigh and look through a maze of half opened boxes into the adjoining dinning room. All the blinds are drawn giving the house that I'm not quiet awake feeling. The sun was trying to work it's way through the blinds. It danced and played games with the leaves revealing shadow pictures that invited me to a different world. A world that was bright and full of sun. Just outside that window a new and different experience awaited me. All I had to do was get up, get dressed and walk outside and everything would be exciting and new. Everything I was experiencing now would change.
Trees full of color and adorned with the brilliance of fall would welcome me. Crisp air that signaled a change of season would fill my lungs. The sun that I watched dancing through leaves would pour into my space and warm me with each touch. There would be no boxes, no quiet and no darkness. Light would open new spaces to be explored and would invite me to enjoy my new freedom and skip through the day.
What I felt sitting in a dark house surrounded by uninviting boxes would instantly change if I would only step outside.
That's the Christian life in a nutshell!
We must support our global Christian family by joining efforts to keep our freedoms alive. But we must also step back from time to time and realize just what we are fighting for.
We are fighting for the right to take some one's hand and say, "Come with me. Come see the son. Come feel the Son. Come know the joy that I know."
That's the real problem you know. People who think ridding the world of all Christian thought will make their lives easier and will give them the permission to do anything their hearts desire. What they don't realize is that they are choosing to sit in a dark room filled with boxes containing all the junk from their lives. It suffocates and leaves their heart hard. Functioning in this world with a sad heart becomes an impossible burden.
All it takes is one person saying, "Come with me. Come see the Son. Come feel the Son. Come know the joy that I know."
It's not about the fight. It's not about you vs. me. It's not about some governmental change or passing some law. It's just about getting up and walking out of that dark room.
"Do you want to come with me? I'm going outside."
God loves you,
Debbie
Monday, November 5, 2007
Don't Lie !
It's not hard to tell the truth when we are talking about someone else.
It's not hard to tell "Good Lies" to people we admire. (Good lies: flattery or pushing the truth to the limits so the other person will feel better or to inspire them.)
It's not hard to tell the truth when we are trying to teach someone a new talent.
It's especially not hard to tell the truth when it really is the truth!
So why is it so hard to tell ourselves the truth?!?!?
I like being a detective with my friends and family. I like using spy glasses, eye glasses, magnifying glasses and microscopes to try to find every smidgen of good I can in their lives.
I love watching their eyes when I extend a truthful compliment. I like knowing I've lifted their spirits for a while when I point out some good that I see and they don't.
But then....with some.....the lying begins. They shuffle or moan and look down at their feet. It's not the "awe shucks" routine - it's the "you don't know what you are talking about" routine. It seems that some people have the opinion that self-worth is all or nothing.
Either I'm perfect and deserve every compliment I get or I'm flawed and therefore I'm nothing.
How crazy is that!
Everyone is flawed. Everyone has problems. Everyone at one time or another has blown it big time. I have - and you are lying if you say you haven't.
We can't play percentages either. A person who likes to play percentages thinks that if he is good 90% of the time - then and only then will he deserve a compliment. But what about the person who makes it 85% of the time? What about 75% or maybe 79 and 3/4 %? No, percentages don't work either.
What about the person that thinks his past or his family determines whether or not he deserves a compliment for his achievements? "My mother embarrasses me. Maybe I'm just like her." Or maybe they think, "I used to be a lazy person and that's why I'm not as successful as I should be."
Other people like to think they can control the world. "If I had been nicer to that person they wouldn't have hurt me." Sorry. Probably would have happened anyway. Besides, you are not responsible for someone else's sin.
Some people even like to do the hindsight thing and beat themselves up for not being perfect in every situation.
All of that nonsense is crazy too.
TV news said that in a recent study 92% of Americans felt sad and guilty. I am sure some aren't using wisdom in their lives and maybe a little sadness and guilt feelings are proper. I believe that percentage is quite small. Most of us work very hard to do what's right. Most of us - including all of my readers I'm sure - try to make the best of our lives.
Do you feel guilty and sad? Do you feel like life isn't worth living? Do you feel like your presence on this big planet isn't worth very much?
Don't lie ! Take an honest look at your life and tell the truth.
How?
Get a piece of paper and put it where you can grab it for a quick thought. Make a commitment to take a microscope to your life. For one week write down everything good about your life, your body, your relationships and your work. No cheating and No lying. See yourself as God would see his favorite child. A little flawed but his favorite nonetheless. Start by looking in the mirror. Let's start with me.
Hair - it would be totally white if I didn't color it. That means I'm old and don't deserve a compliment, right? NO. That would be a lie. Yes, my hair is white - but I do color it and don't I look nice? Yes! I've done a wonderful job with it and it looks much better.
Wrinkles - I've got plenty of those. Awe...but look at why I have those wrinkles. Around the eyes it's called laugh lines. Isn't it great that I've had things to smile and laugh about.
Yikes! There's a lot on the forehead. That's from stress...pain...worry. Hum...It could also be from wisdom. I've furrowed my brow many times while talking to people. You see, I care and when I care my face gets involved. Yep. I'll call those wrinkles wisdom. And if I had the choice, I would rather have my "wisdom wrinkles" than to be another perky Brittany Spears.
Double chin. Now that's hard. I think it's very unsightly. But maybe it says I'm successful. At least successful enough that I've had plenty to eat. This Ole' gal hasn't missed a lot of meals.
Hands. Oh. Wrinkled, dry, cracked, spotted and rough in places. Hum..The shape and color is just like my parents. You know what I think of every time I hold their hand? I think of all the work they did for me. All the times they sewed or painted a sign or rubbed my face or held me and prayed for me. Maybe my children think those thoughts when they see my hand. I choose to look at these hands and say, "Beautiful!" These hands have known love of the greatest magnitude. These hands have been held by loved ones, worked for my children and greeted with a smile and handshake by my friends.
Get my point. We ALL need to stop lying to ourselves.
Television, movies, news, magazines all scream at us and want us to believe that unless you are rich, beautiful and young you are not successful. That's nuts! Don't believe the lie!
"That's fluff Debbie. You don't know the trouble I'm in. You don't know how depressed I am. I'm not going to get that promotion, degree, new house, vacation. I'm a failure. I'm older now and most of my dreams haven't come true. Maybe none of my dreams have come true. Seeing my hair in a different way doesn't really matter."
In Zechariah 8:16 (NRSV) the Lord of hosts declared: "These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another, render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace."
The essential idea of truth in the Bible is not conformity to some external standard but faithfulness or reliability. In the case of God, of course, faithfulness or reliability is not measured by any external standard. God is the standard. God's truth (faithfulness or reliability) is the truth that is basic for all other truth, (Deut. 7:9-10). Holman's Commentary
"So what are you saying Debbie?" What I'm saying is that we should be very careful about going around lying about God's creations. When we constantly berate ourselves and avoid looking at the good that we have become, we are spitting in God's eyes. We are telling him..."I didn't reach the goal I wanted. Your goals don't matter. So I'm a failure."
That's not true. It's not OUR goals that are important. It's GOD's goals for us. God is the standard. God's truth is the basis for everything we are.
So the question is..."What is God's truth for you?"
Did you fail at some project? Was it all your fault or did others lend a hand in the failure. Did you do what you felt was right but their failure meant you missed the mark? Then probably, according to God's standard - You are very successful. They are the problem and God will deal with them in due time. Remember, you are responsible for you. You are NOT responsible for the sins of others. You may have a mission that God wants you to do but their souls, their obligation to do right is between them and God.
Stop lying. Stop saying that because your child doesn't love you that you are a failure. Did you love him? Did you do all you could to help him? Did you provide for him, pray for him, teach him? At what point does this stop being your failure and become his?
I watched Murder She Wrote last night. I love mysteries. The protagonist thought that her husband had died 20 years before in a boating accident. They showed her bossing everyone around and controlling her daughter. It didn't take much to dislike this woman. No one was safe from her criticism. Turned out that her husband didn't die in the boating accident. When he swam to shore he simply took the opportunity to get out of a miserable situation.
Was he a failure? Was he a bad father? Was he to blame for everything?
I don't think so and neither did Jessica Fletcher. Everyone agreed that he was not to blame for wanting out. The person to blame was the controlling wife who drove everyone away.
Please be encouraged. Take a "TRUTHFUL" look at yourself. Don't lie. Look for all your good qualities and don't let other people try to convince you that you are on the bottom of life. Save that position for people like Hitler and Jack the Ripper.
You my friend are a wonderful creation of God. He has a purpose for your life and he loves you with all his heart. Don't run from Him. Run TO Him. You will find arms open wide and a smile that could light up the world.
When you feel his arms wrap around you I promise you will hear him say, "I'm so glad to see you. I'm so proud of you. I love you more than you know."
God loves you,
Debbie
Saturday, November 3, 2007
God loves you very much!
"Whew" I thought as I sipped my coke. "She deserved that one." The little girl was completely miserable. She sat crying and snubbing while she was held tightly in place by Mom's stiff arms.
I continued with my lunch and then saw something that reminded me of God. The mother kissed her daughter. She kissed her while the tight arms relaxed and became loving arms that reassured her love.
Isn't that just like God? We go off all half cocked into our own little selfish world. He either lets us continue until we hurt ourselves or he gives us a swat that lets us know He's tired of our actions. We feel totally miserable and we are sure that this "judgemental" God has no further use for us.
One day as we are drowning and sure this misery thing is permanent, we see light. Not much. About the size of a penlight. It couldn't be considered an answer. It couldn't even be considered hope. But there it is - a glimmer. Upon microscopic investigation we realize that it is a "smile" from God. A tiny little recognition that we are still His child, still His joy, still His hope. We may not have hope - but God has great hope for us.
In that moment, that quiet still moment we realize that He's waiting. Waiting with bated breath to see what our next move will be. Waiting to find out if we want Him. Waiting to see if we are ready for Him to move in our lives. Waiting with open arms to say...."Yes my child, I'm still here. I still love you. I still have great plans for you."
How wonderful it is to be His child!
Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
WOW!
God loves you,
Debbie
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Precious Pointers - A child's viewpoint
That's right kimo sabe!
I hear a lot of stories about anger between children and parents or couples or even in the business world. It's usually all a matter of "Point of view."
I might think you are lazy until I go through the same situation and then it's different. I will see things differently because of my new point of view. You might think I'm being mean in some situation until you receive one tiny bit of information that changes the viewpoint of the situation.
A lot of people have asked me what I think about going to a psychologist or psychiatrist. After all that's what I studied. Hundreds of professionals do a wonderful job and have helped a lot of people. There are some bad ones out there, but there are also some wonderful professionals. I personally love the boundaries books and with only a few cautions would recommend anyone to the services of Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
(If you want to pick up some of their books and would also like to support this website, you can do so through this link to Amazon.com)
However, you must approach professionals with the same understanding of "point of view."
When I talk with anyone about a personal problem the first thing I want them to understand is that I don't know it all. I don't know how their spouse acted in 1996 and I don't know how their child goes into defensive mode when grandma comes in the room. They can talk with me for days and I still wouldn't know everything I needed to know in order to properly judge the situation and provide a solution. Whatever I recommend has to be run through their knowledge of the people they are working or living with.
Let me explain. Suppose a parent asks me to provide a solution for a lazy child. "I can't get him to help wash dishes. We all take turns and when it's his turn he always tries to buy off the other siblings and get them to do it. What can I do."
I could go on and on about assigning chores, meaning what you say, bargaining etc. But none of those would work. Why? What if we were missing one piece of information. What if he has an allergy to the dish washing liquid? What if he doesn't know it's an allergy? What if every time he washes dishes his fingertips hurt, crack and bleed. He doesn't know where it's coming from and doesn't make the connection. All he knows - subconsciously - is that every time he washes dishes he hates it and it hurts. Or...suppose he's being teased at school about being feminine and every time he washes dishes subconsciously he is scared that they are right?
How do we go about finding that out? You get into his point of view. Before handling any stressful situation apply that old Indian proverb. Walk a mile in his shoes. Set aside a time to wash dishes with the child. Do it 10 times if you have to. Ask questions. Try to see the chore from his viewpoint.
Got a problem with your spouse. What is his viewpoint? Why is he/she doing what they are doing?
Got a problem with a co-worker. Maybe they aren't a jerk. Maybe they have a problem. Find the problem and you will see it from a different viewpoint.
Remember, that anytime you talk with anyone - professional counselors included; you must realize they can't tell you what to do with 100% accuracy. If they were not in the room when a situation happened or if they haven't lived with you for more than a year - they can't possibly know everything there is to know about how your family will react. Listen to what they say, but make adjustments according to the dynamics of your family.
For example, I like Dr. Dobson. He's done a great work and he seems to be on target most of the time. When my son was about 11 I heard him do a week long broadcast on what boys need. He talked about getting "all" boys into sports even if they weren't physically inclined. He said it would help them become team players even if they were last on the team. Dr. Dobson is a big sports fan and also talked about playing basketball with some star.
Sorry Dr. Dobson. That's just not good advice. I've seen too many children embarrassed and teased. Sports may have good points if you have the talent for it. But if a "nerdy" child is forced to play it can become a source of bullying and pain. For that reason I never forced my sons to play sports. What I did encourage was to pursue their "real" abilities. They both tried sports but on their own decided on other pursuits.
The same type of team abilities can be found in Drama, chess, debate teams etc. It's important that you take any information and apply it to your situation. Don't be afraid to challenge someone who's telling you what to do. And don't be afraid to stop your own rules long enough to see them from your child's point of view. They will love you for it and your home will reflect understanding and compassion.
God loves you,
Debbie