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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Darlene Daily

Thanks Darlene for finding these fun items!


Those who live with too much tension seldom live to enjoy a pension.


This one happened few years ago in Switzerland:

A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and - while the photographer developed the pictures -
he took off with the cash register. Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself.


It is difficult to save money when your neighbors keep buying things you can't afford.

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are
parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class!"

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home,even if you wish they were.


Cherish yesterday. Dream tomorrow. Live today.


We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon

the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry."

Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening

to the tape, he shook his head. "This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen

from a tree."


The winds of God are always blowing, but you must set the sails.-- Author Unknown


Q. At what time of day was Adam created?
A. A little before Eve.

Q. Did Eve never have a date with Adam?
A. No, it was an apple.

Q. Where is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible?
A. When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply


We are called to stand on the Promises, not to merely sit on the premises.


A blonde was visiting Washington, DC. This was her first time to the city, so she wanted to see the Capitol Building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions.
"Excuse me, officer," the blonde said, "how do I get to the Capitol Building?"
The officer said, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there."
The blonde thanked the officer and he drove off.
Three hours later the police officer came back to the same area, and sure enough, the blonde was still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol Building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus.  That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde said, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The  45th bus just went by!"

Ha ha ha ha ha ......
It's a beautiful Sunday here.  Let's go out and enjoy God's blessings!
**Little known fact....When we visited Washington last month Ron and I took a tour of the capital.  Our tour guide informed us that there are 88,000 school children in the city limits of Washington, DC.  There are also 85,000 lawyers within the city limits.  A few years ago someone tried to get it on the ballot to have every school child adopt an attorney.  It didn't pass.  Hum...Go figure?
God loves you,

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