I am not a difficult older woman who hates young people and their ideas! I love children, teens and young adults.
What I do hate is waste. I hate to see lives wasted and opportunities missed. As a true Mommy Detective, I've spent my life trying to dig through the facts and discover the Truth of any situation. Truth isn't always easy. Sometimes Truth can hurt our feelings or make us feel bad. Sometimes Truth demands that we change a habit that we've become comfortable with. Sometimes Truth means we have to get off our butt and work to change for the better. But Truth usually does not leave us where we are and it moves us to making something wonderful out of our lives - and that is always worth the work!
It is human nature to resist change. We get comfortable in our misguided or unintentional mistakes and we fight to stay the same. Even with the best intentions and the greatest desire to change - every one of us will feel a resistance to change.
Yet....if we are to be the best that God created us to be - we must change. And unfortunately, in my entire life - (dare I say in all of history?) I have never heard anyone say this: "My life is great! Everything is going good for me. I have everything I want. I think I'll change."
When life seems to be okay - or when we've accepted the life we have - it's un-natural to want to change it. Instead we hold our breath and hope that nothing disturbes the way things are.
YET.....Again.....if we are to be the best that God created us to be - if we are to change our world and make it better than it ever was....WE MUST CHANGE.
CHANGE is good. Change moves us along. Change helps us reach for the gold.
CHANGE CAN also BE BAD....What if I make a wrong choice? What if my change makes things worse not better? Can I go back to what I was? And if I can't go back will I regret this change for the rest of my life?
I believe that Change is good but it demands a committed responsibility to finding TRUTH. If you ignore the facts in any situation you will regret your change.
A great example of this is our country. We have made change our God. We encourage people to change, to be edgy (never understood this term - have mental picture of someone about to fall off a cliff - why is that desirable?), to be different for the sake of being different. Young children grow up feeling as though the only way to have a successful life is to be seen as "different" - yet at the same time they try to look like everyone else that's following the stupid looks and behaviors of superstars.
Can I just take a bunny trail here? Why would anyone care what a movie star or music star has to say about anything? They are not thinkers. Their main focus in life is self and doing what a director or writer tells them to do. Hum....they are just followers. What our youth needs is someone who will "teach" them to be thinkers, entrepreneurs and inventors. We need youth that are determined to find answers to societies problems. We don't need more followers....we need more leaders!
Okay....back on the main trail here.
When you are considering change you must have all the facts....you must consider every side and check out all the details of your change. If you don't, you will be in the middle of change only to find because of some new information that you've made the wrong move.
Let's look at one example. Back in the 60's, our country bought into the nonsense that the way to protect your child's self-esteem was to never say no. Saying no would hurt little Johnny's psyche so we have to protect him. Now those children are adults. These are the people in our society that want to put down every attempt to "control" the evil in our society.
If you are raised believing that every thought, every whim, every desire you have should be explored - regardless of what it does to others.....then any attempt to say "no" to you will cause a fight. Every contradictory thought would be an attack. That's why some childish people can't stand to look at a religious symbol. That symbol isn't hurting them. They have the choice to look away or do the same thing I do when some evil is portrayed on TV - I turn it off and try another channel I believe in. Only a childish spoiled brat whose never been forced to have boundaries would want to force others to cater to his own selfish desires. I believe this is why America is so involved in catering to criminals and shifting our focus from caring for decent people to the elevated rights of criminals.
Here's the problem with that philosophy. Catering to someone who is doing wrong does not make them change. He's getting what he wants. He's receiving respect even though he's a killer or a rapist. He's allowed to go on functioning in society even though he's mentally or physically abused a child. He's allowed to hold on to every stupid excuse he can fine to avoid change. Why would he change?
I was appalled by the actions of the University of Arizona. If I had been a relative of one of the victims, I would have left the building. Why? Because none of the people there were had respect for the grieving and the dead. Clapping and cheering for someone who was murdered is not showing respect. Hadn't any of those animalistic attendees ever been to a funeral? I heard one commentator say, "Perhaps this was just what the crowd needed. After three days of gloomy news, maybe they needed a release."
That comment made me furious. I had just sent an e-mail to Bret Bair and explained how awful I thought the pretend memorial service was.(perhaps I'll post my comments to him) But then to hear a commentator excuse their actions - well that just infuriated me more. I was not mad at the commentator but at the sentiment and belief that all we can expect from our children - from those that hold the future of this country in their hands - all we can expect from them is selfish animalistic behavior! We can and should expect much more. We can and should expect our youth to have some class and respect for others.
Those spoiled students didn't have to walk into the bedroom of their loved one and know that they will never return. They didn't have to pick out the casket or make burial arrangements. Remember - this was only three days after the shooting. Most funeral services hadn't happened. And while these poor victims were still in mourning, they were fooled into attending an emotionally difficult situation by misrepresenting a political pep rally and calling it a memorial service.
I've stood beside a casket and looked at a relative that's passed on. Even as a Christian and knowing that they were with Jesus and someday I would see them again - my heart was broken. Every thought of them took my breath away. Every moment was filled with pain, anger and yes some guilt. I felt guilty every time I smiled - knowing that they couldn't smile. It takes time - lots of quiet time - to get over that feeling. It takes reflection and hugs and peaceful contemplation.
At the pretend memorial services in Arizona, the University President allowed ill-mannered, selfish, animalistic children to hurt the victims of the shooting. It seemed as though he was seeking his own moment of fame by issuing T-shirts and encouraging the crowd to be rowdy. Mr. Obama is also to blame. While he may have been caught off guard, where was his leadership? Why didn't he simply address the crowd with an off scripted reprimand? Why didn't he take control of the situation and defend the victims? Instead he joined in the disrespectful display by saying nothing. (Which again speaks to Mr. Obama as a president. He's not a leader. He's a follower. He bows and apologizes and follows. He doesn't lead.) And I'm sorry. I do not agree with all the commentators that say his speech was comforting. Poppycock! It was filled with political overtones. If it had truly been a memorial service it should have pointed only to the victims and their families. Mr. Obama should have only been a vessel spotlight pointing to the victims. He should have resisted any attempt to point the spotlight on himself or any political agenda. Instead his speech was heavy with political rhetoric overtones. Instead it spoke to a pep rally for America and Obama's political stand.
The TRUTH is....Someone at that ridiculous pep rally should have taken the mike and defended the "grief stricken" families. Would that have been difficult and hard? Yes. But would it have been proper and right? Yes. Would it have taught some of those in attendance about good manners and unselfish behavior? Perhaps. Would the victims have felt vindicated in their grief? Would they have felt like someone truly understood their pain? Would they have avoided the problem of leaving the building and feeling guilty because they didn't want to clap but rather wanted to cry? Yes!
What the TRUTH in this situation would have done is open a conversation about good manners and appropriate behavior. And change? Maybe we should think about the way things used to be and realize that selfish - my desires and needs first - was not a "good change". Maybe we should consider how we can help our children have a good self-esteem without become animals bent on having what they want at any cost. I feel sorry for the victims of Arizona. They were betrayed by that University, the university president and staff, Mr. Obama and those spoiled brat attendees. I am saddened that they had to be hurt again. No handshake by a passive president can make up for the pain they will feel over the next few weeks knowing that the crowd was more interested in politics than in their dead relative.
Class and respect is a wonderful comforting virtue. When it is absent it leaves the heart feeling sick and alone.
God loves you,