"Children will always break your heart and I feel sorry for anyone that has them."
"You're pregnant? I'm so sorry."
I'm going to try to control myself. I've heard those statements more than I would like and I'm tired of it. The next person spouting that type of comment is going to get a very special delivery from me - a gross of messy dirty diapers!!!! Deal with that!
Children are wonderful! Children are great. Children are like gardens, they reflect the care of the gardener. Don't assume that children are going to be trouble just because you or a friend couldn't find a way to help the children in your care. Children are not the problem - their environment may be.
There are several things a child can not do for you :
1. A child will not make a bad marriage better. While you may receive a smile from your new child, the problems that existed with your husband will be the same.
2. A child will not help your finances even if he is a tax deduction. You now have another human being to provide for and your finances will reflect that.
3. A child can not boost your self-esteem. When the rush of having a baby is over your self-esteem issues will return with a vengeance.
4. A child can not make you a success by their own achievements. Be proud of your children but don't base your success on their achievements. Allow them to "own" their achievements and it will be easier for them to understand their failures.
5. A child will not secure your happiness. Children are hard work. That hard work will translate into times of great joy and probably times of great stress or pain. There should be times of great happiness watching and loving your child but your child can not bring you the kind of happiness that will keep you from "feeling" the pain of other problems in your life.
6. A child will not be your companion forever. Good parents are constantly trying to work themselves out of a job. If you love your child, your goal is for them to be independent of you. That independence will mean that there are times when he/she will have his own friends and his own experiences.
Children should be taught however that we are commanded by God to honor and love our parents the longest day we live. And we are commanded to care for them and do all we can to care for them and let them know they are loved.
7. A child is not a duplicate of you. It is possible to love them even if they are exact opposites of you. It is your duty to teach them right from wrong and it is their duty to learn their lessons well. But if your daughter likes the blue dress rather than the green one you want her to buy - let it go. If your son likes football over golf - let it go. If your adult children prefer a good church on the north side of town and you prefer a good church on the east side of town - meet them for lunch and let it go.
Children are a blessing from God. As one quote says, "Children are God's opinion that the world should continue."
Children are truly the most important task you will ever assume. Take a look at the ones in your home or pat your tummy and think of the little one on the way. Ask yourself, "How would I feel about the possibility of this child if I knew I was about to give birth to someone that would change the world?" What would you do differently? How would you determine to care for them? What would you teach them?
Well, guess what? Open any history book, your bible or any book on "great men and women of...." They all had a mother and a father. And at some point that parent was given the choice to look at the pregnancy as a blessing and a mission from God or to view it with disdain.
And while I'm on this subject - who's the very most important parent there is??? All those wonderful people who adopt children! Those fantastic people that have enough love in their hearts to change the future of precious children outside their own genes. Who started the great love found in adoption? Mary the mother of Jesus. He was adopted from an unusually far off land. Yet, she carried out her duties with love and grace. Jesus may have been the son of God, but Mary was a beautiful link to this often complicated human race.
When the doctor puts that little one in your arms there's only one thing to do. Pray for wisdom and ask God to help you care for that child in the same way He cares for you.
Kiss that pumpkin on the head and thank God that you are going to be a part of history. How will it change because of you?
God loves you,