I'm sure some of the boredom I see in children and young adults comes from the fact that most parents are so busy there's no time to encourage their children to "make their own fun". The other problem is that when "fun" is provided for a price, children never learn to make their own.
My Dad talks about how he and his brothers were always trying to "make their own fun". He tells about the time they worked all day making a sort of scooter that looked a lot like what skateboards do now. They took a 2x4 and nailed old skates (the kind that required a key to enlarge the skates) to the bottom. They were going to skate down a large hill. The board would make it about 10 feet and fall apart. They would laugh and take it back to the garage to begin another round of talks, laughs and redesign. It never worked well, but it was a wonderful learning experience and provides humorous stories even now. (Write him and ask him to put the story on his blog. http://www.pastorken.com/
Kids will always be better if you teach them to enjoy hobbies. Allow your boys to work on motors and your girls to develop crafts - or vice versa. Whatever you do, teach your children to be creative.
I was horrified at the second story on the front page of my Sunday paper:
"Need a new life?" Millions explore virtual world of Second Life.
http://www.cantonrep.com/archive/index.php?ID=363909&r=0&Category=20&subCategoryID=0
(Sorry I don't know how to do the smaller link thing, so you may have to paste and copy - if you know how to do it, send me info.)
If you can go to this article and read the entire thing, I encourage you to do so. It's alarming to me. Teens and young adults that build a second life. My question.....what is wrong with their first life? Where are their good friends, good parents, good experiences? Why spend four days with little sleep building a "fake" life when you could go outside and meet someone down the street and build a "real" life?
Does this bother any of you???? It's like the entire issue of "war on drugs". When is someone going to ask the question - why would a ten year old need drugs? What is so wrong with their life that they get hooked on drugs or that they become an alcoholic? If parents are that bad, make them go to a special school that teaches them how to be good parents. Get a judge to sentence the parents to 4 years of training or a happy child whichever comes first.
So my question to these 4 million people is....what is so wrong with your first life? I can understand a six year old playing with paper dolls, but a 25 year old man trying to pick up a 16 year old virtual girl is just plain crazy. Anyone got an answer? It's not just that maybe they need a savior because there are Christians in this. We need to take a look at why so many people want to run from their real life.
Oh my Debbie, maybe I just better say this:
God loves you and so do I.....
Let me hear from you....
Debbie
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Kids cause parent's giggles
Parents can be so stuffy sometimes. Isn't it wonderful when children not only take us down a notch or two, but leave us in stitches as well.
In his book, Kids sure rite funny!, Art Linkletter shared some of those moments.
I am rather unclear about sing sang and sung. If I do it right now I know it is that I sing. But if I did it say yesterday, I am not clear what I did.
One of the important things to decide in studying for an English test is whether to figure out the questions to be asked or to study for answers and not be sure of the questions.
Most words are easy for me to spell once I get the letters right.
Confusion seems to be a problem for some students.........
I plan to get a brod education.
My sister is sex and a half.
Mother says use plenty of eggs in the milk to make a good omen.
We are not to run in class even when teacher don't see us because even if teacher don't see us Jesus can and he might tell the principal.
Polite means to say thank you when you don't really want to.
We soon discovered our new used car had defected brakes.
Though I am now a child, I will one day be a man or a woman.
Santa's reindeer get around so fast because they have athletes feet.
When I see a sad television, I try to keep my composure, but I often get completely decomposed.
According to some peoples beliefs, there is something that is half way between heaven and hell. It's called pubertory.
I have been told thrashing machines are not really used on children.
Children love animals....
When the frogs are in the water as tadpoles, they get in a bad habit of eating their own tails. Only on land is a frog safe from eating hisself up before it is too late.
Although a whale has now been discovered to be a mammal, there are still some fishy things about it.
Mad dogs must be shot as we have no way of telling who they are mad at and might bite.
An octopus gets its name from knowing how to have eight baby octopusses at once.
Beavers are wonderful at dammi - I should say making water holes with branches.
A silk worm has not one but tee-double U-oh! holes in his head. But instead of siting and sulking he uses them to make silk.
Dogs are much quicker than people. In less than two months they are a year old.
Now that the dinosaurs are safely dead, we can call them clumsy and stupid.
The honeycomb is used to comb whatever the queen bee says to.
Fish can drown in air. That is true. So we are even.
Slush is snow with all the fun melted out.
We think the earth feels still but it is in a constant commotion going around itself.
And my very favorite from some small little geniues.....
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it then you got hit, so never mind.
Everybody leans to the sun in summer and away in winter. We are all a little tipsy that way.
Saturn looks better with a few belts.
The French Revolution was fermented by the middle classes.
To have faith in your convictions means no matter how many times you go to jail you know it's for your own good.
No property can change hands without first everyone sinning on the dotted line.
Politicians kiss babies to get votes. This is gooey work.
The good kind of ministers are in church, and the other kind are in government.
In his book, Kids sure rite funny!, Art Linkletter shared some of those moments.
I am rather unclear about sing sang and sung. If I do it right now I know it is that I sing. But if I did it say yesterday, I am not clear what I did.
One of the important things to decide in studying for an English test is whether to figure out the questions to be asked or to study for answers and not be sure of the questions.
Most words are easy for me to spell once I get the letters right.
Confusion seems to be a problem for some students.........
I plan to get a brod education.
My sister is sex and a half.
Mother says use plenty of eggs in the milk to make a good omen.
We are not to run in class even when teacher don't see us because even if teacher don't see us Jesus can and he might tell the principal.
Polite means to say thank you when you don't really want to.
We soon discovered our new used car had defected brakes.
Though I am now a child, I will one day be a man or a woman.
Santa's reindeer get around so fast because they have athletes feet.
When I see a sad television, I try to keep my composure, but I often get completely decomposed.
According to some peoples beliefs, there is something that is half way between heaven and hell. It's called pubertory.
I have been told thrashing machines are not really used on children.
Children love animals....
When the frogs are in the water as tadpoles, they get in a bad habit of eating their own tails. Only on land is a frog safe from eating hisself up before it is too late.
Although a whale has now been discovered to be a mammal, there are still some fishy things about it.
Mad dogs must be shot as we have no way of telling who they are mad at and might bite.
An octopus gets its name from knowing how to have eight baby octopusses at once.
Beavers are wonderful at dammi - I should say making water holes with branches.
A silk worm has not one but tee-double U-oh! holes in his head. But instead of siting and sulking he uses them to make silk.
Dogs are much quicker than people. In less than two months they are a year old.
Now that the dinosaurs are safely dead, we can call them clumsy and stupid.
The honeycomb is used to comb whatever the queen bee says to.
Fish can drown in air. That is true. So we are even.
Slush is snow with all the fun melted out.
We think the earth feels still but it is in a constant commotion going around itself.
And my very favorite from some small little geniues.....
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it then you got hit, so never mind.
Everybody leans to the sun in summer and away in winter. We are all a little tipsy that way.
Saturn looks better with a few belts.
The French Revolution was fermented by the middle classes.
To have faith in your convictions means no matter how many times you go to jail you know it's for your own good.
No property can change hands without first everyone sinning on the dotted line.
Politicians kiss babies to get votes. This is gooey work.
The good kind of ministers are in church, and the other kind are in government.
Okay, that was fun!
God loves you,
Debbie
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Technical problems - Aren't they wonderful?!? There's a buzz here at blogger that people can't put a title on their entries..... So, until it's fixed.....this entry won't have a title.
It kind of fits with what we are going to talk about. I've had several people ask for definite actions to combat yesterday's post.
If you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed with how hard life seems to be, here's a few things you can do.
1. Realize that even though you are overwhelmed with the current state of affairs, there are some things that can't be fixed today. Don't worry about those issues. I can't fix the problems previous parents have caused by raising spoiled brats and difficult adults. I can't yell loud enough to cause the world to change immediately. I can try to convince today's parents to be more vigilant in raising tomorrow's adults. But the results of my teaching won't change the world by tomorrow.
Realize that every problem can't be solved today. Do what you can to be concerned about the future, but not consumed by it. In other words, there are times when you need to stop trying to fix the world's problems. Take care of what you can do today about your own problems. There will be a time to reach out to the world. There will be a time when you get a handle on your own feelings and you can join that political group, church group or writing campaign.
2. Concentrate on the moment. Don't let your mind wander into all the problems that may be waiting for you tomorrow. Take care of the task at hand.
For example, an overworked Mom should concentrate on getting one thing accomplished for the day. Maybe you feel it's important to read to your child. Then make a daily list and put that at the top. Everyday, when you cross off "Read to Johnny", you will know that you are accomplishing one of your goals. Rather than tackling a list of chores that you eventually want to do, (like paint the house or clean the carpets) make a list of daily goals that you feel are important. Concentrate on the fact that you may not have the most well kept home in your neighborhood, but you are definitely accomplishing your goals with your son.
You can apply this rule to any situation. For example, let's take a single person's desire to marry. That desire may consume you. Perhaps your biological clock is ticking and you are worried you may never have children. Don't concentrate on the long range goals. Find something that you enjoy doing and concentrate on that goal. Find a meeting place that you enjoy for reasons other than dating - a church group, a cycling group, a writer's group. Be where there are people. This is important.....Don't attend for the dates! Do be sure that it's a group of people your own age, but attend for the joy of the group or the joy of the task. Relax and see what happens.
3. There's a wonderful old song "Count your Blessings". That song should be a requirement for everyone to listen to at least once a day.
When you are overwhelmed with life - count your blessings.
When you think you can't go on - count your blessings.
When you are sure that life couldn't get worse - count your blessings.
I will stake everything that I own on the fact that no one can write me with a story that I can't top. It may not be my own story, but I'll be able to top it. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON SUFFERING AND PROBABLY YOU HAVE MORE BLESSINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAN YOU THINK.
"Ah, Debbie, now I've caught you. You don't know what you're talking about. I have four children and none of them will talk to me much less see me on holidays. I'm miserable."
That is a terrible problem, but at least you still have the opportunity to pray for a miracle and to hopefully do what you can to fix the problem. You still have hope. I know of a couple that was on vacation with their six children. They were hit from behind and the van instantly exploded. The mother and father were badly burned as they tried to free one of the children from a car seat. That child also died in their arms as the others screamed in the fire.
No amount of praying will ever bring those children back. No amount of praying will ever take away those memories. That problem will always be a part of them. At least you can still pray for a resolution. At least you don't wake up screaming with the nightmares. At least you don't sit by the Christmas tree and cry remembering the happiness of six loving children taken from you with such violent force.
And if you still feel that no one is as bad off as you are, try watching the TV miniseries "War and Remembrance". Whenever I'm down all I have to think about are the droves of men and women that were marched to the gas chambers. Innocent and precious Jewish moms stripped of clothing and paraded past the evil eyes of Nazi guards. Little children shot in the head or beaten to death. NO, my friend - my little aches, pains and disappointments are not that bad. I'm alive, God loves me and I'm free to pray. I have great hope that God will bring me through anything.
My point is that no matter how bad our situation, no matter how awful you feel, no matter how much you've been abused....be assured, someone can top your pain. So settle back and think about the good things in your life. Do you have a home? Do you have food? You must have access to a computer to be reading this. What a blessing. Do you have a friend, a pastor, a dog - someone who loves you? If not, let me introduce you to Jesus. AND my friend, I do love you. Write me. I'll type the words directly to you. God loves you and so do I.
3. Don't worry about the little stuff. Every day I seem to find someone who is upset about the little stuff. What a waste!
I can't name this blog. Big deal. I checked and there are many people fussing about this with blogger. That tells me that blogger is going to work hard to solve it. They have to in order to preserve their business. I could choose to wait until I can post this properly, but that would involve me checking behind them all day long. NO, I have other pressing things to do.
I could get all upset and write a nasty little note to blogger, but that would only make me feel as bad as the people who are already getting yelled at for the problem.
So, instead....I choose to believe in my friends. I choose to believe that you are enjoying my posts and that you know that I will do everything possible to give you quality work.
Since you know that. Since you trust me. I am going to relax and give you the best possible information in this post. I'm not going to worry about the Title. Later when the problem is fixed, I'll insert a title.
Problem solved. You feel good. I feel good. The overworked guy at blogger is minus one more complaint so he feels good.
Ahhh.....nice.....
Yes, there are a lot of problems with this world we live in. But our goal in life is not to have everything we want. Our goal in life in not to be pampered little sissies.
My goal (and I hope yours) is to love God with all my heart, to do what I can to be his light shinning in a dark world, to love my family and to work to make this world a better place. That last goal covers a lot. When I make a nice meal for my family I am enabling them to go out into the world and do their part in making it a better place. When I send a card to a shut-in, I'm doing my part to make this world a little better. When I keep my mouth shut and refuse to fuss at someone, I create a little more peace.
Maybe, if you are miserable, it's because you have become less compassionate to others, a grouch, and ungrateful for what you have.
Start small. When you go to the grocery store today, smile. Smile at everyone you see.
Then tomorrow, smile and say "hello".
The next day, smile and say "Hello. How are you?" I think you'll be surprised to find that getting involved and loving people is really very simple and in return you will feel great!
And if you do all these - WATCH OUT! God will show up. How wonderful!
God loves you,
Debbie
It kind of fits with what we are going to talk about. I've had several people ask for definite actions to combat yesterday's post.
If you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed with how hard life seems to be, here's a few things you can do.
1. Realize that even though you are overwhelmed with the current state of affairs, there are some things that can't be fixed today. Don't worry about those issues. I can't fix the problems previous parents have caused by raising spoiled brats and difficult adults. I can't yell loud enough to cause the world to change immediately. I can try to convince today's parents to be more vigilant in raising tomorrow's adults. But the results of my teaching won't change the world by tomorrow.
Realize that every problem can't be solved today. Do what you can to be concerned about the future, but not consumed by it. In other words, there are times when you need to stop trying to fix the world's problems. Take care of what you can do today about your own problems. There will be a time to reach out to the world. There will be a time when you get a handle on your own feelings and you can join that political group, church group or writing campaign.
2. Concentrate on the moment. Don't let your mind wander into all the problems that may be waiting for you tomorrow. Take care of the task at hand.
For example, an overworked Mom should concentrate on getting one thing accomplished for the day. Maybe you feel it's important to read to your child. Then make a daily list and put that at the top. Everyday, when you cross off "Read to Johnny", you will know that you are accomplishing one of your goals. Rather than tackling a list of chores that you eventually want to do, (like paint the house or clean the carpets) make a list of daily goals that you feel are important. Concentrate on the fact that you may not have the most well kept home in your neighborhood, but you are definitely accomplishing your goals with your son.
You can apply this rule to any situation. For example, let's take a single person's desire to marry. That desire may consume you. Perhaps your biological clock is ticking and you are worried you may never have children. Don't concentrate on the long range goals. Find something that you enjoy doing and concentrate on that goal. Find a meeting place that you enjoy for reasons other than dating - a church group, a cycling group, a writer's group. Be where there are people. This is important.....Don't attend for the dates! Do be sure that it's a group of people your own age, but attend for the joy of the group or the joy of the task. Relax and see what happens.
3. There's a wonderful old song "Count your Blessings". That song should be a requirement for everyone to listen to at least once a day.
When you are overwhelmed with life - count your blessings.
When you think you can't go on - count your blessings.
When you are sure that life couldn't get worse - count your blessings.
I will stake everything that I own on the fact that no one can write me with a story that I can't top. It may not be my own story, but I'll be able to top it. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON SUFFERING AND PROBABLY YOU HAVE MORE BLESSINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAN YOU THINK.
"Ah, Debbie, now I've caught you. You don't know what you're talking about. I have four children and none of them will talk to me much less see me on holidays. I'm miserable."
That is a terrible problem, but at least you still have the opportunity to pray for a miracle and to hopefully do what you can to fix the problem. You still have hope. I know of a couple that was on vacation with their six children. They were hit from behind and the van instantly exploded. The mother and father were badly burned as they tried to free one of the children from a car seat. That child also died in their arms as the others screamed in the fire.
No amount of praying will ever bring those children back. No amount of praying will ever take away those memories. That problem will always be a part of them. At least you can still pray for a resolution. At least you don't wake up screaming with the nightmares. At least you don't sit by the Christmas tree and cry remembering the happiness of six loving children taken from you with such violent force.
And if you still feel that no one is as bad off as you are, try watching the TV miniseries "War and Remembrance". Whenever I'm down all I have to think about are the droves of men and women that were marched to the gas chambers. Innocent and precious Jewish moms stripped of clothing and paraded past the evil eyes of Nazi guards. Little children shot in the head or beaten to death. NO, my friend - my little aches, pains and disappointments are not that bad. I'm alive, God loves me and I'm free to pray. I have great hope that God will bring me through anything.
My point is that no matter how bad our situation, no matter how awful you feel, no matter how much you've been abused....be assured, someone can top your pain. So settle back and think about the good things in your life. Do you have a home? Do you have food? You must have access to a computer to be reading this. What a blessing. Do you have a friend, a pastor, a dog - someone who loves you? If not, let me introduce you to Jesus. AND my friend, I do love you. Write me. I'll type the words directly to you. God loves you and so do I.
3. Don't worry about the little stuff. Every day I seem to find someone who is upset about the little stuff. What a waste!
I can't name this blog. Big deal. I checked and there are many people fussing about this with blogger. That tells me that blogger is going to work hard to solve it. They have to in order to preserve their business. I could choose to wait until I can post this properly, but that would involve me checking behind them all day long. NO, I have other pressing things to do.
I could get all upset and write a nasty little note to blogger, but that would only make me feel as bad as the people who are already getting yelled at for the problem.
So, instead....I choose to believe in my friends. I choose to believe that you are enjoying my posts and that you know that I will do everything possible to give you quality work.
Since you know that. Since you trust me. I am going to relax and give you the best possible information in this post. I'm not going to worry about the Title. Later when the problem is fixed, I'll insert a title.
Problem solved. You feel good. I feel good. The overworked guy at blogger is minus one more complaint so he feels good.
Ahhh.....nice.....
Yes, there are a lot of problems with this world we live in. But our goal in life is not to have everything we want. Our goal in life in not to be pampered little sissies.
My goal (and I hope yours) is to love God with all my heart, to do what I can to be his light shinning in a dark world, to love my family and to work to make this world a better place. That last goal covers a lot. When I make a nice meal for my family I am enabling them to go out into the world and do their part in making it a better place. When I send a card to a shut-in, I'm doing my part to make this world a little better. When I keep my mouth shut and refuse to fuss at someone, I create a little more peace.
Maybe, if you are miserable, it's because you have become less compassionate to others, a grouch, and ungrateful for what you have.
Start small. When you go to the grocery store today, smile. Smile at everyone you see.
Then tomorrow, smile and say "hello".
The next day, smile and say "Hello. How are you?" I think you'll be surprised to find that getting involved and loving people is really very simple and in return you will feel great!
And if you do all these - WATCH OUT! God will show up. How wonderful!
God loves you,
Debbie
Friday, July 6, 2007
Why is life so hard?
Do you find that twice or more a week you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, angry or depressed? Do you find yourself asking the question - "Why is life so hard?"
Do you feel let down as if the life you imagined is never going to come true. Do you feel as if your parents lied to you, holding out a model of the good life that you just can't seem to reach?
You are not alone.
Why is life so hard?
There are hundreds of reasons why this country has seen a downfall in the quality of life. Imagine that each problem you site is like an octopus with thousands of tentacles. Each tentacle is a new reason why the problem can or does exist.
Because of the "tentacles" I won't be able to cover all the reasons why life is so hard, but I'll try to do as many as time and space will allow.
1. Most people don't understand the rules of society and how their actions will make or break the future.
If both of your parents worked and you were placed in a regular daycare, there wasn't enough time to teach you basic lessons about how society works. Perhaps, if your parents came from a working home where they were raised in daycare, they may also not know the rules. How can you teach something you don't know? And it gets worse if your grandparents were also raised in that type of home.
Am I against working parents? NO, NO. Just be sure that you spend your time with your child teaching them how to be honorable, a good friend, a decent person, a moral individual and a compassionate human being. Investigate that daycare. It must support what you are teaching at home. Do they also provide teaching and get involved in the little scrapes that children have? Do they demand that each child learn how to play nice with others? Most of our interactive skills are taught when we are very young. If your daycare stays totally unresponsive to the miniature model of society that goes on daily in their facility - your child will NOT learn how to navigate properly.
When a society believes that all a child needs to grow is to be fed, clothed and given education - the inner child weakens and is replaced with a person who feels, "I better get what I can because no one is going to care about me."
Imagine that person - now grown - and in charge of a company. He's not going to be concerned about the daily lives, needs, wants, families of his employees. He will simply make it hard on you whenever you have a problem in those areas. He will demand that he is taken care of first and the profit margin will be his only ruler of success.
Ah....now lets get really sticky. If that type of child grows up to be a pastor, what then? I've said it many times. What do you get when a selfish jerk becomes a Christian and then becomes a pastor? He's a selfish, jerk pastor. Becoming a Christian "should" but doesn't always change a person's inner self. That remains the same. So the problems with that pastor will be huge. He will see his style as only a reflection of his personality and will not see it as a problem with his faith. At that point the entire church and community will suffer. How will that pastor change how the community interprets "faith"?
It boggles my mind how many pastors want and strive to have mega churches. Why not send some members to other pastors and have smaller individual churches that give the members a personal touch and new pastors a chance to know each member intimately. "Oh, wait Debbie, our church of 5,000 does that. We have smaller services and each unit has it's own sub-pastor."
"Baloney!" Why not just let go of the numbers and have 150 individual churches? Why all be part of one big one? That pastor and his staff wants the fame and recognition. Period. I would love to see a young pastor that says, "I'm in this for the lives I can personally get involved with and change. I am looking for that small church in that small community where I can live and stay for the next 50 years being to those people all that God wants me to be." Wouldn't that be refreshing? What would Jesus Do? Would he want the big church or would he be just as comfortable in the little one?
Why is life so hard? Because more and more people are out for #1. More and more people are not taught to be compassionate. More and more adults do not see the value in playing and working well with others.
2. When a child is not taught how to navigate in the world he is an easy target for Hollywood and the Media. As he is bombarded on a regular basis with a philosophy that promotes taking care of self only, he will feel that his selfish nature is justifiable. And when he watches others that obtain money, fame and special treatment because of their selfishness - the child will naturally assume that the best path for his life is to be just like them.
Remember the movie You've Got Mail? I love that movie, but oh what a lesson it taught. In the last third of the movie Tom Hanks is trying to apologize for putting Meg Ryan out of business. He says to her, "It wasn't personal."
"What is that? I'm so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's personal to a lot of people. What is so wrong with being personal, anyway?"
"Ah, nothing."
"I mean, whatever anything is, it ought to begin with being personal."
Unfortunately, a large number of young adults have learned to only take care of self and not be compassionate to others. They are not personal and find any excuse they can to support the behavior that will give them the status they desire. That causes huge problems within any society!
Many of the older clan have released their admiration for compassion because they feel overwhelmed by the lack of compassion in the young and would rather give in to their ways than try to stop the process. Not only are we dealing with nasty young folks, but now we are dealing with frustrated nasty old folks!
Therefore - Life becomes very hard to navigate! Everywhere you turn selfishness rules and compassion is harder to find.
I could go on with this, but then you wouldn't have time to be with your family accomplishing what we've talked about. Let me just give you a quick list. This list could be 100 or more points long. If you have any questions, please contact me and I'll discuss whatever you feel is important.
1. Children are not being taught manners. A society without manners is a society that causes pain.
2. Our society has lowered the bar. Rather than let a child suffer the consequences for bad grades or not winning at a game - we lower the bar and allow them to graduate or win when they did not. Don't be afraid to let your child lose. It will teach him a lot more about his future than you can do with words. Losing now and again will also help him have compassion for the other guy when he wins.
3. Our society plays down everything except money and education. Many children are taught to do well in school, but that isn't life. Being trained properly means that your parents covered every area of life - school, hygiene, world view, compassion, faith, love for your family, love for their community, respect for those in authority, etc...
4. Our society has produced too many adults that think they are hot stuff just because Mom and Dad said so. It's important to build your child's self-esteem so they will get out in the world and try. It is not good to build your child's self-esteem on false information. If he's being a little four-year-old jerk, tell him! Inform him that others will not put up with his behavior and that life will not be good to him. Praise him for the good actions he exhibits, don't glorify the negative and blame it on other people.
5. Don't give your child everything. Society is filled with bored people who have seen it all and done it all. They have no appreciation for sitting on a porch swing drinking lemonade. After all, they have traveled all over the world and they are only 16. For heaven's sake! Who wants to be with a person like that? I sure don't. Once you've done it all, then what? I was taken back when a 16 year old once told me,
"I'm sick of traveling. I wish I could just stay home and be normal, but my parents won't hear of it. I've got to be smart and know about everything and go everywhere. Sometimes I just want to run away and hide."
Is it any wonder that that child is disillusioned with life. He has nothing to look forward to. He has no dream to strive for. Consequently he has turned to a life of sin and darkness. There was nothing else left for him.
Why is life so hard?
God had a plan. We were very close to that plan at one time in our history. But because a small segment of our society was not following the plan - we decide to change. We threw the baby out with the bath water and turned our back on the plan. Now, society is even worse.
DON'T BE DISCOURAGED.
DO YOUR PART TO MAKE LIFE BETTER.
BE COMPASSIONATE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN.
TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN TO REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL - INCLUDING COMPASSION.
SURROUND YOUR CHILDREN WITH PRAYER WHEN THEY MUST-WILL BE INVOLVED WITH THOSE WHO MAKE LIFE SO HARD.
SUPPORT THOSE IN POWER THAT CAN CHANGE LIFE FOR THE BETTER WHILE YOU MAKE SURE YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR DAILY INTERACTIONS WITH YOUR WORLD.
As each of us change our own little segment of the world - society will change. We have not lost the battle yet.
And if you need to, let me know how life is hard for you. I'll cry with you, pray with you and together we will try to find answers for individual problems.
The next time someone is mean to you or is making life hard, just remember that they are probably more miserable that they are making you. They don't have answers and their life isn't on track. Be kind. Pray for them and navigate around them.
In one of his sermons Dr. Foth recalled walking through the woods with his five-year-old grandson. As often happens, an animal had left a deposit on the trail. His grandson looked back at grandpa and said, "Grandpa, when there's poop on the trail - just walk around it!"
Sounds like a good philosophy for all of us.
God loves you,
Debbie
Do you feel let down as if the life you imagined is never going to come true. Do you feel as if your parents lied to you, holding out a model of the good life that you just can't seem to reach?
You are not alone.
Why is life so hard?
There are hundreds of reasons why this country has seen a downfall in the quality of life. Imagine that each problem you site is like an octopus with thousands of tentacles. Each tentacle is a new reason why the problem can or does exist.
Because of the "tentacles" I won't be able to cover all the reasons why life is so hard, but I'll try to do as many as time and space will allow.
1. Most people don't understand the rules of society and how their actions will make or break the future.
If both of your parents worked and you were placed in a regular daycare, there wasn't enough time to teach you basic lessons about how society works. Perhaps, if your parents came from a working home where they were raised in daycare, they may also not know the rules. How can you teach something you don't know? And it gets worse if your grandparents were also raised in that type of home.
Am I against working parents? NO, NO. Just be sure that you spend your time with your child teaching them how to be honorable, a good friend, a decent person, a moral individual and a compassionate human being. Investigate that daycare. It must support what you are teaching at home. Do they also provide teaching and get involved in the little scrapes that children have? Do they demand that each child learn how to play nice with others? Most of our interactive skills are taught when we are very young. If your daycare stays totally unresponsive to the miniature model of society that goes on daily in their facility - your child will NOT learn how to navigate properly.
When a society believes that all a child needs to grow is to be fed, clothed and given education - the inner child weakens and is replaced with a person who feels, "I better get what I can because no one is going to care about me."
Imagine that person - now grown - and in charge of a company. He's not going to be concerned about the daily lives, needs, wants, families of his employees. He will simply make it hard on you whenever you have a problem in those areas. He will demand that he is taken care of first and the profit margin will be his only ruler of success.
Ah....now lets get really sticky. If that type of child grows up to be a pastor, what then? I've said it many times. What do you get when a selfish jerk becomes a Christian and then becomes a pastor? He's a selfish, jerk pastor. Becoming a Christian "should" but doesn't always change a person's inner self. That remains the same. So the problems with that pastor will be huge. He will see his style as only a reflection of his personality and will not see it as a problem with his faith. At that point the entire church and community will suffer. How will that pastor change how the community interprets "faith"?
It boggles my mind how many pastors want and strive to have mega churches. Why not send some members to other pastors and have smaller individual churches that give the members a personal touch and new pastors a chance to know each member intimately. "Oh, wait Debbie, our church of 5,000 does that. We have smaller services and each unit has it's own sub-pastor."
"Baloney!" Why not just let go of the numbers and have 150 individual churches? Why all be part of one big one? That pastor and his staff wants the fame and recognition. Period. I would love to see a young pastor that says, "I'm in this for the lives I can personally get involved with and change. I am looking for that small church in that small community where I can live and stay for the next 50 years being to those people all that God wants me to be." Wouldn't that be refreshing? What would Jesus Do? Would he want the big church or would he be just as comfortable in the little one?
Why is life so hard? Because more and more people are out for #1. More and more people are not taught to be compassionate. More and more adults do not see the value in playing and working well with others.
2. When a child is not taught how to navigate in the world he is an easy target for Hollywood and the Media. As he is bombarded on a regular basis with a philosophy that promotes taking care of self only, he will feel that his selfish nature is justifiable. And when he watches others that obtain money, fame and special treatment because of their selfishness - the child will naturally assume that the best path for his life is to be just like them.
Remember the movie You've Got Mail? I love that movie, but oh what a lesson it taught. In the last third of the movie Tom Hanks is trying to apologize for putting Meg Ryan out of business. He says to her, "It wasn't personal."
"What is that? I'm so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's personal to a lot of people. What is so wrong with being personal, anyway?"
"Ah, nothing."
"I mean, whatever anything is, it ought to begin with being personal."
Unfortunately, a large number of young adults have learned to only take care of self and not be compassionate to others. They are not personal and find any excuse they can to support the behavior that will give them the status they desire. That causes huge problems within any society!
Many of the older clan have released their admiration for compassion because they feel overwhelmed by the lack of compassion in the young and would rather give in to their ways than try to stop the process. Not only are we dealing with nasty young folks, but now we are dealing with frustrated nasty old folks!
Therefore - Life becomes very hard to navigate! Everywhere you turn selfishness rules and compassion is harder to find.
I could go on with this, but then you wouldn't have time to be with your family accomplishing what we've talked about. Let me just give you a quick list. This list could be 100 or more points long. If you have any questions, please contact me and I'll discuss whatever you feel is important.
1. Children are not being taught manners. A society without manners is a society that causes pain.
2. Our society has lowered the bar. Rather than let a child suffer the consequences for bad grades or not winning at a game - we lower the bar and allow them to graduate or win when they did not. Don't be afraid to let your child lose. It will teach him a lot more about his future than you can do with words. Losing now and again will also help him have compassion for the other guy when he wins.
3. Our society plays down everything except money and education. Many children are taught to do well in school, but that isn't life. Being trained properly means that your parents covered every area of life - school, hygiene, world view, compassion, faith, love for your family, love for their community, respect for those in authority, etc...
4. Our society has produced too many adults that think they are hot stuff just because Mom and Dad said so. It's important to build your child's self-esteem so they will get out in the world and try. It is not good to build your child's self-esteem on false information. If he's being a little four-year-old jerk, tell him! Inform him that others will not put up with his behavior and that life will not be good to him. Praise him for the good actions he exhibits, don't glorify the negative and blame it on other people.
5. Don't give your child everything. Society is filled with bored people who have seen it all and done it all. They have no appreciation for sitting on a porch swing drinking lemonade. After all, they have traveled all over the world and they are only 16. For heaven's sake! Who wants to be with a person like that? I sure don't. Once you've done it all, then what? I was taken back when a 16 year old once told me,
"I'm sick of traveling. I wish I could just stay home and be normal, but my parents won't hear of it. I've got to be smart and know about everything and go everywhere. Sometimes I just want to run away and hide."
Is it any wonder that that child is disillusioned with life. He has nothing to look forward to. He has no dream to strive for. Consequently he has turned to a life of sin and darkness. There was nothing else left for him.
Why is life so hard?
God had a plan. We were very close to that plan at one time in our history. But because a small segment of our society was not following the plan - we decide to change. We threw the baby out with the bath water and turned our back on the plan. Now, society is even worse.
DON'T BE DISCOURAGED.
DO YOUR PART TO MAKE LIFE BETTER.
BE COMPASSIONATE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN.
TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN TO REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL - INCLUDING COMPASSION.
SURROUND YOUR CHILDREN WITH PRAYER WHEN THEY MUST-WILL BE INVOLVED WITH THOSE WHO MAKE LIFE SO HARD.
SUPPORT THOSE IN POWER THAT CAN CHANGE LIFE FOR THE BETTER WHILE YOU MAKE SURE YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR DAILY INTERACTIONS WITH YOUR WORLD.
As each of us change our own little segment of the world - society will change. We have not lost the battle yet.
And if you need to, let me know how life is hard for you. I'll cry with you, pray with you and together we will try to find answers for individual problems.
The next time someone is mean to you or is making life hard, just remember that they are probably more miserable that they are making you. They don't have answers and their life isn't on track. Be kind. Pray for them and navigate around them.
In one of his sermons Dr. Foth recalled walking through the woods with his five-year-old grandson. As often happens, an animal had left a deposit on the trail. His grandson looked back at grandpa and said, "Grandpa, when there's poop on the trail - just walk around it!"
Sounds like a good philosophy for all of us.
God loves you,
Debbie
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
The importance of American History
HAPPY JULY 4th !!!
Get out the sparklers and fire up the grill, it's time to celebrate. I love patriotic holidays. At least until I see how many people don't realize the importance of American History.
If you don't make sure your children know the truth about the history of this country - we will lose our wonderful way of life.
"Geepers Debbie, how can you say that?"
Simple. Have you heard the old saying, "He's trying to reinvent the wheel." When children don't respect and honor our past, when they don't know why we struggled with a problem and how we finally worked it out - we are doomed to repeat it. Knowing our American History keeps us from repeating past problems.
I'm already seeing signs in this country that remind me of turbulent times in our past. I shake my head and wonder why people don't just go to their history books and see how we solved it then.
If your children (or you) knew your history, you would be able to ask......
"What was the best time for this country? When were families strong, businesses strong, and government in control? When did we see the most progress across the board in every area of our lives? What were we doing at that time? What made us great at that time? Why was crime low and living high? Why when most people feel nostalgic do they think of those times even if there weren't born then?"
When you can answer those questions you will have a true grasp on what's wrong with this country and how you can be part of the solution. Most of the problems of today aren't unsolvable, we are just asking the wrong questions.
Our view is tainted. Because we aren't looking back at history we can't see the future clearly. Instead of asking why isn't the war on drugs working, we should be asking why would a 7 year old need drugs? What would drive an innocent young person (who should only be worried about winning at sandlot baseball) to end his life by taking drugs? What is there about our society that produces so many kidnappings, rapes, murders and dysfunctional people?
What we need in this beautiful fantastic land of opportunity is a new army. An army of logical people who study history and ask the right questions. An army of people who are dedicated to making this country better and who not only live righteous lives, but pray and work with those who don't. An army of people who will not allow the selfish drive for power and fame inhabit our White House or any position of authority. An army of people who like the pilgrims want this country to be a "city of light on a hill"
John Winthrop, a wealthy puritan, thought of emigrating to Ireland because King Charles I was determined to rule as an absolute monarch and had no sympathy for puritan goals. When persecution of the puritans increased, John was elected governor of the Massachusetts Bay Company (a group formed by Puritans in 1629). John enlisted 700 colonists for the new settlement and it was decided to sail to America.
He organized 11 ships with their sailors and officers, arranged for provisions and supplies for the colony, and made certain there were enough skilled craftsmen and laborers for the colony's development.
Why did they come?
When the Massachusetts Bay colonists sailed for America on March 22, 1630, Winthrop and his fellow Puritans left behind their patriarchal homes and financial security for an unknown American wilderness. In "A Model of Christian Charity," a sermon Winthrop preached during the voyage to America, the Massachusetts governor emphasized that the purpose of their going to America was to increase the body of Christ and to preserve themselves and their children from the corruption of this evil world. (Hum...sound familiar?)
The colonists had made a covenant together to obey the commandments of God in their enterprise, and the Lord would surely bless them in their new land if they continued to follow Him. If they maintained Christian unity, Winthrop was certain the Lord will be our God and delight to dwell among us as his own people...when he shall make us a praise and a glory, that men shall say of succeeding plantations: the Lord make it like that of New England: for we must Consider that we shall be as a City upon a Hill, the eyes of all people are upon us.
Winthrop's imagery of the model Christian society as a city on a hill, taken from Matthew 5:14, became a motif that has inspired American literary and political thought into the twentieth century. From Winthrop and the Puritans, America inherited the idea that in some way this land was to be an example and beacon of light to the rest of the world. (http://chi.gospelcom.net/GLIMPSEF/Glimpses/glmps022.shtml)
Can we still make that claim? If no, why not?
I hope today will be a wonderful July 4th for you. We have so much to be thankful for. We are privileged to be American. I encourage you to study your history, wave your flag, thank a serviceman, grill with the family and pray for God to heal our land. That's exactly what I'm going to do.
God loves you,
Debbie
Get out the sparklers and fire up the grill, it's time to celebrate. I love patriotic holidays. At least until I see how many people don't realize the importance of American History.
If you don't make sure your children know the truth about the history of this country - we will lose our wonderful way of life.
"Geepers Debbie, how can you say that?"
Simple. Have you heard the old saying, "He's trying to reinvent the wheel." When children don't respect and honor our past, when they don't know why we struggled with a problem and how we finally worked it out - we are doomed to repeat it. Knowing our American History keeps us from repeating past problems.
I'm already seeing signs in this country that remind me of turbulent times in our past. I shake my head and wonder why people don't just go to their history books and see how we solved it then.
If your children (or you) knew your history, you would be able to ask......
"What was the best time for this country? When were families strong, businesses strong, and government in control? When did we see the most progress across the board in every area of our lives? What were we doing at that time? What made us great at that time? Why was crime low and living high? Why when most people feel nostalgic do they think of those times even if there weren't born then?"
When you can answer those questions you will have a true grasp on what's wrong with this country and how you can be part of the solution. Most of the problems of today aren't unsolvable, we are just asking the wrong questions.
Our view is tainted. Because we aren't looking back at history we can't see the future clearly. Instead of asking why isn't the war on drugs working, we should be asking why would a 7 year old need drugs? What would drive an innocent young person (who should only be worried about winning at sandlot baseball) to end his life by taking drugs? What is there about our society that produces so many kidnappings, rapes, murders and dysfunctional people?
What we need in this beautiful fantastic land of opportunity is a new army. An army of logical people who study history and ask the right questions. An army of people who are dedicated to making this country better and who not only live righteous lives, but pray and work with those who don't. An army of people who will not allow the selfish drive for power and fame inhabit our White House or any position of authority. An army of people who like the pilgrims want this country to be a "city of light on a hill"
John Winthrop, a wealthy puritan, thought of emigrating to Ireland because King Charles I was determined to rule as an absolute monarch and had no sympathy for puritan goals. When persecution of the puritans increased, John was elected governor of the Massachusetts Bay Company (a group formed by Puritans in 1629). John enlisted 700 colonists for the new settlement and it was decided to sail to America.
He organized 11 ships with their sailors and officers, arranged for provisions and supplies for the colony, and made certain there were enough skilled craftsmen and laborers for the colony's development.
Why did they come?
When the Massachusetts Bay colonists sailed for America on March 22, 1630, Winthrop and his fellow Puritans left behind their patriarchal homes and financial security for an unknown American wilderness. In "A Model of Christian Charity," a sermon Winthrop preached during the voyage to America, the Massachusetts governor emphasized that the purpose of their going to America was to increase the body of Christ and to preserve themselves and their children from the corruption of this evil world. (Hum...sound familiar?)
The colonists had made a covenant together to obey the commandments of God in their enterprise, and the Lord would surely bless them in their new land if they continued to follow Him. If they maintained Christian unity, Winthrop was certain the Lord will be our God and delight to dwell among us as his own people...when he shall make us a praise and a glory, that men shall say of succeeding plantations: the Lord make it like that of New England: for we must Consider that we shall be as a City upon a Hill, the eyes of all people are upon us.
Winthrop's imagery of the model Christian society as a city on a hill, taken from Matthew 5:14, became a motif that has inspired American literary and political thought into the twentieth century. From Winthrop and the Puritans, America inherited the idea that in some way this land was to be an example and beacon of light to the rest of the world. (http://chi.gospelcom.net/GLIMPSEF/Glimpses/glmps022.shtml)
Can we still make that claim? If no, why not?
I hope today will be a wonderful July 4th for you. We have so much to be thankful for. We are privileged to be American. I encourage you to study your history, wave your flag, thank a serviceman, grill with the family and pray for God to heal our land. That's exactly what I'm going to do.
God loves you,
Debbie
Monday, July 2, 2007
A Parent's reward
When is it my turn?
I've heard that from many tired hard working parents. "When do I get to rest? When do I get to do what I want? When do I feel like I'm a success?"
Tough questions. Parenting has the longest wait for payday of anything on the planet. Sports are a distant second so let's take a look at them.
Let's say you wanted to compete in the Olympics. You buy all the equipment you need. You hire a coach. You pay all the fees to use a nearby gym. You exercise and eat right and get yourself in great shape. You even qualify for the games in your state. You go to one competition after another and take home no less than third place.
After six months you are looking pretty good. But the excitement is fading and getting up at 4:30 every morning to go work out followed by hours of practice just seems painful. Your mind is filled with doubt. Do I really want to do this? How important is this? I'm missing so much with my friends and family. I'm so tired of all the work....and for what?
The coach yells for you to pick it up and push harder. You think, what's the point? Third place is good enough. Your legs ache, your stomach hurts and before you know it you are on the floor writhing in pain. Do you quit? This is not the payday. It's too far away yet. It's too hard. Why not just stop and forget it?
Why not? Because the reward ---when you reach it ---- is worth it. Every Olympic champion has felt that way. But they keep going....keep pushing....because the reward is worth it.
It's the very same with parenting. When you've done 2,000 loads of wash and you aren't even half way there. When you are working overtime just so "the kids" can have fun on their spring field trip yet you haven't had a day off in months. When you've used all your sick days to sit in a doctor's waiting room and you haven't been sick. When those exciting memories of the career you wanted slip farther and farther away from you.
It's easy at that time to want to give up. I could go on....but you get the picture.
When is your reward?
There are small ones along the way. The hand drawn picture, the funny outbursts, the purple tie for Father's day and the red balloon hat for Mother's day. The lead in the Christmas play and the straight A report card (when you barely had a C+ average). The wonderful hugs and kisses accompanied by "I love you daddy" or "Mommy you're the best est". Those are wonderful little perks that can keep you going. But when do you win the prize?
Knowing that you gave the character lesson a good 23 times, you win the prize when the principal shakes your hand at graduation and says, "Your son is the finest young man I've ever known."
Knowing that you gave the make your life the best lesson at least 45 times, you win the prize when your daughter tells you she broke up with her boyfriend because he wanted an inappropriate relationship.
Knowing that you gave the let's be a close family lesson at least 537 times, you win the prize when you find yourself in a hospital room and each child steps up to the plate to take care of things you were sure they didn't know how to do.
Parenting is a life long job built with many wonderful gifts.
The payday comes when you finally see before you a mature adult working hard to make this world a better place.
Look deep into his eyes and you will see years of your own hard work coupled with the design of God.
God loves you,
Debbie
I've heard that from many tired hard working parents. "When do I get to rest? When do I get to do what I want? When do I feel like I'm a success?"
Tough questions. Parenting has the longest wait for payday of anything on the planet. Sports are a distant second so let's take a look at them.
Let's say you wanted to compete in the Olympics. You buy all the equipment you need. You hire a coach. You pay all the fees to use a nearby gym. You exercise and eat right and get yourself in great shape. You even qualify for the games in your state. You go to one competition after another and take home no less than third place.
After six months you are looking pretty good. But the excitement is fading and getting up at 4:30 every morning to go work out followed by hours of practice just seems painful. Your mind is filled with doubt. Do I really want to do this? How important is this? I'm missing so much with my friends and family. I'm so tired of all the work....and for what?
The coach yells for you to pick it up and push harder. You think, what's the point? Third place is good enough. Your legs ache, your stomach hurts and before you know it you are on the floor writhing in pain. Do you quit? This is not the payday. It's too far away yet. It's too hard. Why not just stop and forget it?
Why not? Because the reward ---when you reach it ---- is worth it. Every Olympic champion has felt that way. But they keep going....keep pushing....because the reward is worth it.
It's the very same with parenting. When you've done 2,000 loads of wash and you aren't even half way there. When you are working overtime just so "the kids" can have fun on their spring field trip yet you haven't had a day off in months. When you've used all your sick days to sit in a doctor's waiting room and you haven't been sick. When those exciting memories of the career you wanted slip farther and farther away from you.
It's easy at that time to want to give up. I could go on....but you get the picture.
When is your reward?
There are small ones along the way. The hand drawn picture, the funny outbursts, the purple tie for Father's day and the red balloon hat for Mother's day. The lead in the Christmas play and the straight A report card (when you barely had a C+ average). The wonderful hugs and kisses accompanied by "I love you daddy" or "Mommy you're the best est". Those are wonderful little perks that can keep you going. But when do you win the prize?
Knowing that you gave the character lesson a good 23 times, you win the prize when the principal shakes your hand at graduation and says, "Your son is the finest young man I've ever known."
Knowing that you gave the make your life the best lesson at least 45 times, you win the prize when your daughter tells you she broke up with her boyfriend because he wanted an inappropriate relationship.
Knowing that you gave the let's be a close family lesson at least 537 times, you win the prize when you find yourself in a hospital room and each child steps up to the plate to take care of things you were sure they didn't know how to do.
Parenting is a life long job built with many wonderful gifts.
The payday comes when you finally see before you a mature adult working hard to make this world a better place.
Look deep into his eyes and you will see years of your own hard work coupled with the design of God.
God loves you,
Debbie
Sunday, July 1, 2007
What makes a winner?
The family insisted that I take it easy today. They think I need a little time to get over the hospital stay. I've propped my feet up and feel like a real princess receiving her every wish.
I love old movies. Anything black and white is all right with me. It's not just the lack of color but rather the infusion of great morals and values. I love watching men and women push for the best, reach for the stars and go deep within themselves to find honor.
I've been watching Knute Rockne, All American with Ronald Reagan. I'm not a sports person and barely know the rules of any sport. I love the way many of those old movies present the most impossible situations (many of them true stories) yet men of strong character find a way to push through and overcome. This movie reminded me of another sports movie Rudy. In that movie (also about Notre Dame) Rudy has to overcome the internal battle that we all must face - our fear and doubt in our own abilities.
It seems to me that the only really tough battles are those within our own character.
When people have to do without things they get creative and usually find a way to keep going. But when a person allows the twists and turns in life to destroy his determination, then he is truly lost. As long as we find the strength to push through the depression, discouragement, sorrow, despair, slump, hard times and defeat - we will be winners. We are never defeated as long as we continue to try.
The best example of pushing through the hard times is the new movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. It's a hard movie to watch because you are sure with each twist and turn that Chris Gardner will have to give up. Each problem builds on the previous until you are positive there is no way he will overcome. By the end I was in total crying meltdown. The truly amazing part of the story is that it is all true. He was victorious (sorry if I ruined it for you - still good to watch) and so fantastically successful that his story not only made a movie but is still on the New York Times Best seller list.
Will it make your child a winner to give him everything he wants or needs and require nothing in return?
NO
Will it give your child character to come to his rescue with every little problem and never allow him to work things out on his own?
NO
Will you be able to prepare your child to make it in this world if you keep him so comfortable he never experiences pain, suffering or distress of any kind.
NO
As good parents we have to know the Balance Needed to teach our children how to make it when times are rough and how to keep our character strong when we are enjoying the good times.
How?
Make sure your children see the good in family members and that they understand that having character and honor is far more important than money or success. If you have a million dollars but your wife hates you - you are not a success. If you are the president of a large corporation but you barely know your child's name - you are not a success. If you have fame or power but your friends think you are a jerk, what's the point?
Make sure you find ways to help your children practice doing without. For example, don't give them every big name toy. Give them tools to make their own toys. One year my children begged for a laser tag game. It had guns, arm bands and a vest that were all set to ring with the laser. Trouble was we couldn't afford it. Solution: I made vests with Velcro and gave them guns that shot ping pong balls. We covered the balls with Velcro. Okay, maybe you couldn't shoot quiet as far but the running, screaming, laughing and playing was just as loud as it would have been with the $200 game.
When we could, we bought the real stuff. Just as often, we made look-a-likes.
Part of your job as parent is to be the protector. Never put your child in a position to be mentally or physically damaged. Do allow your child to go beyond the status quo. Allow him to try difficult things and encourage him when he is down. Give your child wings and then step back and allow him to fly. There will be times when the best decision is to back off or quit. But with each try your child will become stronger and with each success your child will be able to take anything life dishes out.
God loves you,
Debbie
I love old movies. Anything black and white is all right with me. It's not just the lack of color but rather the infusion of great morals and values. I love watching men and women push for the best, reach for the stars and go deep within themselves to find honor.
I've been watching Knute Rockne, All American with Ronald Reagan. I'm not a sports person and barely know the rules of any sport. I love the way many of those old movies present the most impossible situations (many of them true stories) yet men of strong character find a way to push through and overcome. This movie reminded me of another sports movie Rudy. In that movie (also about Notre Dame) Rudy has to overcome the internal battle that we all must face - our fear and doubt in our own abilities.
It seems to me that the only really tough battles are those within our own character.
When people have to do without things they get creative and usually find a way to keep going. But when a person allows the twists and turns in life to destroy his determination, then he is truly lost. As long as we find the strength to push through the depression, discouragement, sorrow, despair, slump, hard times and defeat - we will be winners. We are never defeated as long as we continue to try.
The best example of pushing through the hard times is the new movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. It's a hard movie to watch because you are sure with each twist and turn that Chris Gardner will have to give up. Each problem builds on the previous until you are positive there is no way he will overcome. By the end I was in total crying meltdown. The truly amazing part of the story is that it is all true. He was victorious (sorry if I ruined it for you - still good to watch) and so fantastically successful that his story not only made a movie but is still on the New York Times Best seller list.
Will it make your child a winner to give him everything he wants or needs and require nothing in return?
NO
Will it give your child character to come to his rescue with every little problem and never allow him to work things out on his own?
NO
Will you be able to prepare your child to make it in this world if you keep him so comfortable he never experiences pain, suffering or distress of any kind.
NO
As good parents we have to know the Balance Needed to teach our children how to make it when times are rough and how to keep our character strong when we are enjoying the good times.
How?
Make sure your children see the good in family members and that they understand that having character and honor is far more important than money or success. If you have a million dollars but your wife hates you - you are not a success. If you are the president of a large corporation but you barely know your child's name - you are not a success. If you have fame or power but your friends think you are a jerk, what's the point?
Make sure you find ways to help your children practice doing without. For example, don't give them every big name toy. Give them tools to make their own toys. One year my children begged for a laser tag game. It had guns, arm bands and a vest that were all set to ring with the laser. Trouble was we couldn't afford it. Solution: I made vests with Velcro and gave them guns that shot ping pong balls. We covered the balls with Velcro. Okay, maybe you couldn't shoot quiet as far but the running, screaming, laughing and playing was just as loud as it would have been with the $200 game.
When we could, we bought the real stuff. Just as often, we made look-a-likes.
Part of your job as parent is to be the protector. Never put your child in a position to be mentally or physically damaged. Do allow your child to go beyond the status quo. Allow him to try difficult things and encourage him when he is down. Give your child wings and then step back and allow him to fly. There will be times when the best decision is to back off or quit. But with each try your child will become stronger and with each success your child will be able to take anything life dishes out.
God loves you,
Debbie
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