Make a Date for Valentines

Several years ago I told a young lady to be sure and "make a date for Valentines". She looked at me like I had just slapped her.

"That's impossible. I'm married."

In those simple sentences lies most of the marital problems of newlyweds. All the giggling, tickling, flirting and fun of dating is left at the alter and replaced by rent, bills and finally children.

I think that when a marriage ceremony is performed, one line should be added:

"Do you promise to love, obey, tickle, play and flirt every day of your life until death do you part?"

Most speakers in marriage ceremonies are quick to point out that you must "work" to keep your marriage strong. I submit that you must "play" to keep your marriage strong.

A long time ago I counseled with a newlywed couple. They were worried that their love had died. "I just don't feel the same about her," he complained. He was working hard and bills were overwhelming.

"What's wrong with me?" she cried. "I always thought he was so handsome. Now, well....I just don't feel the same. I've tried to get excited, but I just don't feel anything. I've dressed in all kinds of crazy outfits and tried to make myself exciting for him....but it's just not there. We are both miserable."

Two weeks later they were in love again. How? I asked them to meet with me three times a week for two weeks. I found ways to encourage them to flirt with each other and we ended each session with a tickling match.

Simple...yes. Most marriages get off to a slow crawl because there's just so much to do. We set up house and buy all the things we didn't get for our wedding. We rush to new jobs leaving responsibilities at home. We go from having time to burn to not having two minutes free time. That's when it is so important to "plan" time to date.

Valentines will be here soon. Don't forget how important it is to wash the car, buy some flowers and go out for supper. Just be sure and flirt, tickle and laugh your way into a better marriage!

God loves you,

Debbie

Gloom and doom world

I've received several e-mails from young parents asking how to combat the feeling of doom. Yesterday a newscaster stated that 40% of Americans feel as if a cloud of pending doom followed them through the day.

It's no wonder. All of us are conditioned to watch the news or read the paper. We don't want to be out of the loop or walking around in a daze if some calamity is on it's way. We have been trained every since we took that first bus ride to school "Always be prepared. Have you got your coat? Better take mittens. Did you pack your homework and some tissues?" Watching, listening to or reading the news makes us feel prepared.

Listen to the evening news or read the paper and here's what you'll find.

Perhaps your city is listed as the most violent in the country. That statistic is followed by the sadistic details of one murder after another. If some horrible crime is committed, national news will cover the story for days and interview everyone from the high school chum to the dog walker who saw him in the park two months before the incident occurred.

Switch the channel and you'll find that unemployment is up and pay scales are down. We are in a recession, obsession, compression, regression, throwback and totally spiraling out of control. We are going to be blown off the planet tomorrow because some loony is building a new weapon - but that's okay because we've destroyed our resources anyway so if we stay it will be a slow death.

You get the picture. News has become like the old children's lament. "It's horrible. Let's just eat worms and die!"

Before you grab your trowel and head out to hunt for worms, let's get to the truth.

1. Anytime you watch the news or read a paper or even Google something on line, you need to beware. When the news services were created their main concern was truth. Many reporters would die rather than report a falsehood. That integrity reflected the deeper morals of people in general. As time went on and more and more people began to relax their moral integrity - the news was compromised.

Rules are still in place to punish anyone who lies in print. However, because the news services are based on ratings and because a lot of money is involved in getting your attention - reporters, news services, television programs have all become masters at innuendos and viewpoints. They have learned how to get as close to a lie as possible without incurring punishment personally or for their businesses.

Am I telling you not to watch the news? Of course not. Just beware. Unless you know someone personally and can vouch for their integrity - you must understand that anyone is subject to pushing the evidence or story to the limit to influence you to their point of view.

Unfortunately, I've witnessed this personally. Someone close to me was covered in the press in an unfavorable way. When I called the reporter and tried to give him the facts he said, "That's the way I see it and that's the way I'll report it. Your truth doesn't matter - mine does."

Tough lesson to learn. But it illustrates that yes, the world is in a mess - but probably not as bad as most reporting makes it. And remember, if you know the reporter - trust him. Otherwise it might be good to give some situations and people the benefit of the doubt.

It's also a good idea to limit how much news you watch. Don't try to get a PhD in surfing the channels. Watch enough news to get the scoop on what's going on, but turn it off when it begins to repeat. Go for a walk, out to eat or simply enjoy your child. Don't let the news consume your life.

2. Realize that you have a job to do. Be assured that your job will change the world. It is your God given duty to make the world around you a better place. Do you have children? Then it's your duty to raise them to be strong so they can change their part of the world.

Do you attend church? Then it's your duty to have a ministry in that church and do what you can to make that part of your church and community better.

Do you have neighbors? Then it's your duty to make sure that those neighbors are okay and not hurting.

Do you know how to change the world? One person...one church...one community...at a time. Changing the world starts with YOU!

If the news has scared you and made you concerned about the future of this world then darling...it's up to you to change your part of this decrepit old world! That's why I have all these pages and why I teach at seminars and why I answer so many e-mails and why I run the library at my church. I am busy trying to change the world. You need to get busy too!

"But I don't have time!" Sorry. Everyone has at least a few minutes of time that they can serve others. Do you work? Go by the store and purchase a $2.99 pie, stick it in the oven while you change and take it to your neighbor with a simple smile and "I was thinking of you." Don't stay. Leave and go home to do whatever. But in that 5 minute encounter - you have changed your world.

3. Unless you are God or President of a country, there's nothing you can do right now to instantly change the entire world. YOU can change it over time by being all that God has called you to be....but....for today, you can't stop crime entirely.

Knowing your limits will set you free. Take your list and cross off "World peace". You don't have the ability to do that today. Knowing that means You are free to tickle your baby and enjoy the moment. You are free to have lunch with a friend and discuss a brighter future. You are free to buy a new dress, sing a song, plan for your child's education, get a job, quit a job....

......In other words you are free to go on living.

When you move away from the computer, grab of cup of tea and step outside (Unless it's freezing like it is here). Look up at the sky and smile at God. Think of all the good in your life and then take a moment to think of all the bad that isn't in your life. You are not in jail. You are not in the hospital. You are not totally without options.

Even if there is bad happening at the moment - there are options. They may not be what you want, but in this country there are probably options. (If you don't think so, e-mail me.)

4. Don't forget the God equation. Georgia is running out of water....but then there's God. I can't sell my house....but what about God. Global warming scares me....God will keep you safe. I'm scared of losing my religious freedoms....you have a vote and God will hold you in his arms no matter what.

I'm dying of cancer and I only have two days to live....God is already waiting to receive you into his loving arms and he has prepared a place so bright, so beautiful that no one on this earth would ever have enough words to describe it's magnificence.

Gloom and doom have always been a part of this world. Be encouraged and live your day to the fullest...why? Because God has always been a part of this world and He will be with you no matter what!

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Wow! It can't be said better than that.

God loves you,

Debbie

Ideas that light the world

Have you ever been given a thought...just a tiny little thing? It sits in your mind floating and twinkling. Sometimes it seems to disappear but once you are sure it's gone - it floats back into your life.

Once in a while you mention this thought...this tiny little thought. When others can't visualize its' worth, you vow to forget this little thought. You get busy with other things and force your brain to pay attention to daily needs. Just when you are sure it is gone, you see a little sparkle...a twinkle...a glitter....

One day while you are praying, the thought comes again. It's stronger now. It's pressing for attention. Out of the blue your entire world seems to point to that thought. You see how huge it could become. You realize that it came from God and it has great value.

Circumstances begin to change until you find yourself standing at a crossroads. A huge spotlight seems to be illuminating that thought, that tiny yet somehow more brilliant thought. You feel warm and good. You feel God's arms around you.

All you need is one step. One step to make that twinkling little thought into a huge reality of God's love. A new path for you to walk. A new joy for you to feel. Take the step...go on...you can do it!

Your entire world crashes to a halt when a nasty voice from the back of the room bellows..."Just who do you think you are. You don't have the education or the finances. You can't do that."

In one moment of time that voice has left you terrified. You are saddled with a fear that won't go away. That beautiful twinkling thought seems farther away than ever before. Your head drops and you are sure you misunderstood God.


Don't let the negative voices of this world keep you from participating in God's will for your life!


God doesn't always call the equipped, most of the time he equips those He calls. If you know that God has given you a job to do - Get busy!

Dr. Ken Crocker has written a wonderful blog on that very subject. You must read it.

http://www.pastor-ken.blogspot.com/


I have been busy this week. Please pray for me. God gave me direction many years ago. He gave me a beautiful twinkling thought. I thought my sparkling dream had died. I was sure it would not return. Yet this week, God has opened every door necessary to fulfil His will in my life.

Never, never, never let anyone discourage you from a God given dream.

Thank you Dr. Crocker for the encouragement.

Thank you all for praying for me.

I'm excited to see what God will do next!!!

Do you need to revive your twinkling thought? God never gives up on us...don't give up on his ideas for you.


God loves you,

Debbie

A Human Sponge

If your home is like a river of love.....each family member is nothing but a big human sponge.

The most important thing you can ever do for your home is to keep in mind that everything happening within the walls will be absorbed into the sub-conscious and conscious levels of every member of your household.

Scary stuff ---huh?

Unfortunately, it's true. Counseling reveals the importance of everyday actions. I've been amazed when young adults are hurt because their mother didn't feel it was important to kiss them good-by as they left for school. Other teens have zero social skills or manners because Dad simply sat in his chair at night staring at the tube.

Young men often relate their feelings about women to the fact that Dad never complemented Mom or even asked her opinion. Most hurting adults will point to some insignificant issue in the home and site years of pain over something like, "Dad never had anything good to say about our pastor or Mom hated our neighbors."

Whatever comes out of your mouth or is expressed through body language or is promoted within your home ---that will be your child in 10 years. You can take that fact to the bank.

Of course, a one time action that is followed immediately by an "I'm sorry" can truly be forgiven if it never happens again. Just remember that if you continue to take a negative course of action, you will face it again in your child's adult life. Whatever you promote around your child will become a part of them. The only hope for negative influences is a miracle intervention from God.

It's hard for me to understand parents who are inconsistent. If we want our children to act properly in certain situations, then we MUST be careful to act properly in those same types of situations. Actions speak louder than words.

For example, if we want our children to be kind when someone makes a mistake - then we must be kind. We are NOT allowed to fly off the handle because some kid working at Wendy's didn't fill our order properly. That's when our children are sponges. Our actions at that point become part of their personality. And don't forget your spouse. When you fly off the handle at some inexperienced teen, your spouse will make a mental note that he/she may be next.

If you want your child to appreciate and love the church...then you must appreciate and love the church. Don't have bar-be-que pastor for lunch. If you want your child to be interested in other people...don't ignore him when he has a problem. It won't matter that you were busy thinking about tomorrow's presentation. All he will remember is that he was ignored in favor of work.

I always feel sorry for parents who are so sure their family will be close knit as adults. I watch as these parents cancel family times or miss school program after program because they need to work. After a few years they complain to me that the younger generation just isn't as loving as their generation. Their children neglect the family unit and the parent has the audacity to look surprised.

An old song entitled "We'll get together soon" always made me sad. It was about a father who loved his son very much but when he was asked to take him to the park...circus...or even just to play catch - the father would reply, "I have to work, but we'll get together soon Son. We'll have a great time then."

The song goes on to tell how the son grows up and gets busy with his own job. The father is now retired and wants to spend time with his son. He calls him to see if they can do lunch and the reply is, "I have to work, but we'll get together soon Dad. We'll have a great time then."

We are all a product of our home environment. Don't ever belittle the words or actions of any single moment within your home. Those actions will become part of your children and your spouse. You are changing history one second at a time.

I love the following poem. It is 100% true.

Children Learn What They Live

by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If a child lives with criticism,

He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

He learns to be shy

If a child lives with shame,

He learns to feel guilty

If a child lives with tolerance,

He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encourage,

He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,

He learns justice.

If a child lives with security,

He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

He learns to find love in the world.

I pray today that our homes will not only be filled with love but will build character filled adults that will make America better.

God loves you,

Debbie

I am so-o-o-o excited!

My website is finally growing into my vision.

I do hope you enjoy all the new pages! Yesterday someone explained that this blog - Family Tracks - is listed among their favorites and they bypass my website and only bring up this page. For those of you that do that, you don't know about the changes.

Please return to www.debbiejansen.com and click on the button "What's New". This page will be updated according to anything new. You can check on contest and special days, news about where I am or what I'm doing - all by checking the "What's New" page. Check it often.

Also on this page and all the others, we are installing buttons so you can click from one page to another with ease. Check out these new pages! Though I won't write on every page every day, they will be updated often.

To check out these pages simply look to your left in the "My favorite links" section. The links will take you right to the page. I also encourage you to check out all my favorite links. These are pages I believe in and use myself.

Family Tracks: You are here! This blog covers general questions or topics you have requested. I also cover any topic that inspires me.

Aunt Sally's Kitchen : This page is an online comedy/drama. I know you will love Aunt Sally and the charming characters in this town.

The List: Still under construction - will be finished today. Every action in life has a reaction and it's always good to know all the basics before making any decision. However, some people are so busy that they don't want to know "why" they just want a list of what to do and what not to do. Be careful ! This page will be quite blunt. If you think you are strong enough to handle some straight talk...click away.

Prayer Requests: Visit this page often to pray for others and to have others pray for you.

Mommy Funnies: This page has nothing but good clean jokes about family funnies. Check back often. I plan to post a joke every day.

Better TV: Have you ever wanted better programing for your family but not sure where to find it? Check out Better TV for recommendations and ways to help your family enjoy entertainment without consequences.

My Favorite Music: This page deals with the issue of Music and worship not only in our churches but in our Christian lives as well. Don't be afraid. I promote a fair and balanced view.

Just Write: This blog is for writers, editors, authors and those in the publishing industry. It is dedicated to the "heart" of the writer rather than the technical side of writing. Watch for interviews with editors about their fears and how their careers began.

Last night I added one more page....

Jansen Library: This blog is a list of good books to read. As the list grows you will be able to find categories on the sidebar. You will be able to click on Fiction, self-help, spiritual, marriage, children etc... and it will bring up all the books I have recommend so far in that category. Check back often for new entries.

I hope these changes will make the website more interesting as well as more organized. Please let me know what you think and of course make any suggestions.

I do thank you for using this website to make purchases on line. I spend hours doing research and writing posts. Your dedication to purchasing through amazon.com helps support what I'm doing.

Have fun!!!

God loves you,

Debbie

The Year of Love

Let's make this The Year of Love

John 15:8-17

This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command.

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

This is my command: Love each other.

As Christians we should love all the time. Love should be our #1 priority. If we love as Jesus commanded, we not only touch others - we receive joy. Buckets and buckets of joy. Joy overflowing.

Mark 14:38

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.


So how can we take our #1 priority and make it such a part of our lives that it becomes who we are. Practice. Practice. Practice.

Join me this year in looking for ways to practice our faith. Join me in looking for ways to show love to others.

Once when I was sick my friends in Indiana sent me a special gift. Becky, Jane, Nila and Kay wrapped up three gifts a piece and sent them to me with very special instructions.

"Open one of these little gifts every day. When you are done, your recovery time will be over."

The gifts weren't expensive. Hand cream, a bag of M&M's, a notepad and a small pen became the nicest gifts I'd ever received. It wasn't their value. It was the fact that my friends thought of me. Every time I opened a gift I saw their faces and felt the love that it took to get together, come up with an idea and then work together to make it happen for me.

Since then I've tried to pass that love along. I hope this year you will join me to do the same. Find someone in your circle that you can reach out to and make their life special. Adopt a widow and meet her for lunch once a week. Ask your pastor to let you contribute financially to a family in the church that is struggling. Remember the pastor that helped you so much? Is he retired? Send him a card. Send his wife 10 little gifts to open once a day.

Let's make this the Year of Love. We can change the world with this type of love.

If you want to watch a video that shows what Godly love can do, rent or buy "Meet John Doe". It's an inspiring movie.




God loves you,

Debbie