Ron and I had a wonderful evening together. I fixed coconut cream pudding, coffee and we watched TV. It's always nice being with Ron.
We both were challenged by an old 1962 movie, The Miracle Worker. It won two Oscars and 17 other awards and nominations. It's a fantastic movie about Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan. For those of you that don't know the story of Helen Keller, at 19 months she suffered "an acute congestion of the stomach and brain (probably scarlet fever) which left her deaf and blind.
Losing her hearing at such a young age kept her from doing more than making guttural sounds. After Alexander Graham Bell suggested that her parents contact the Perkins Institute for the Blind, Annie Sullivan was sent to be her tutor. Annie found her in a terrible state. At age 9 she was a spoiled wreck. She ate off every one's plate, pitched temper tantrums and had no respect for anyone or their possessions. Annie fought to teach Helen outward discipline so she could also teach her the discipline needed in order to learn.
I sat on the edge of my seat when Annie Sullivan was talking to the parents and said, "Mrs. Keller, I don't think Helen's greatest handicap is deafness or blindness. I think it's your love and pity. All these years you've felt so sorry for her you've kept her like a pet. Well, even a dog you housebreak."
And later.... "Pity for this tyrant? Is there anything she wants she doesn't get? I'll tell you what I pity... that the sun won't rise and set for her all her life, and every day you're telling her it will. What you and your pity do will destroy her, Captain Keller."
To be fair, my mother has often said..."I guess I just love you too much." We all understand the great love parents have for their children. It's that love that carries us through the most difficult times. But...when that love only gives out and never teaches the child to also give - love then becomes a method of corruption. Real love will search for the "best" ways to help a child succeed. Yes, we protect them from harm -but we refuse to protect them from life. Parents who want the "best" for their child will fight for the right of the child to learn, to be unselfish, to have the discipline to achieve. Without fighting for those rights for your child --- you condemn them to a life of overindulgence, depression, loneliness and pain.
After convincing them that she needed two weeks in a nearby cabin - alone with Helen, she was able to break the spoiled nature and help Helen see what discipline would do for her life. At one point James, Helen's brother was talking to Annie at the cabin window. Tears came to my eyes when he said...
"Sooner or later we all give up, don't we?" (He was trying to convince Annie to give up on Helen.)
Annie: "Maybe you all do, but it's my idea of the original sin."
James: "What is?"
Annie: "Giving Up!"
Annie saw something in Helen that she felt was worth fighting for. She saw her potential if only she could get through to her. Annie believed in Helen when her parents didn't. Her parents only saw Helen as a deformed child, a weakling, a child to be pitied. Imagine what Helen's life would have been like if Annie hadn't believed in her.
I see this problem all the time. Parents, teachers, governments, philosophies....everyone wanting to look like a saint and touting "I care"..."I love them so much". They build elaborate philosophies or programs that give, give, give and ask for nothing in return. They feed or give to people until they are lazy, overweight, weak, spoiled individuals who don't have a clue about how to have a successful life. In their warped minds being rich or having everything they want equals some sort of life.
As we celebrate Labor Day today, I hope someone will join me on the stage and be proud of the entrepreneur, the hard worker, the intelligent, the strict mom and the overachiever! I'm sick to death of promoting the lazy, spoiled, overindulgent. It doesn't matter if it's a reality so called star or if it's a lazy person who is capable of work but chooses to take welfare instead. I don't care if it's a wealthy star or a single mom -if they require nothing of their child - it's wrong. Like Annie Sullivan, I believe the spoiled life is torturous and as far as I'm concerned it's the worse form of child abuse!
Proper discipline isn't without compassion! Compassion, understanding and a generous heart should exist in every one's life. If that compassion or love interferes with determination, hard work, achievement or social graces - then your love and compassion will corrupt the soul.
The best thing we can do for ourselves and for our children is to insist that the only honorable life is one filled with hard work, intelligence and determination! Even when you make it to the top, there is still more work to do. If you are privileged enough to have a lot of money - then get busy working to set up businesses so others can work. Don't selfishly blow $500,000 on a wedding that won't be remembered 5 years down the road. Don't selfishly blow $50,000 on some classic car to collect dust in your garage or another $1,500 on one meal. Instead use your talents and your money for good. Get a life! Going on TV and acting like a spoiled brat, cussing at everyone and thinking the sun rises and set on you....isn't a life. Get busy and do something important with your life. Fussing about who kissed who or whose going to go out with you is just stupidity - and unfortunately teaches impressionable teens to be just as spoiled as you are. The same goes for the average family. If you are promoting spoiled behavior within your family - you doom your children to a life of sorrow.
Sorry....there are several things I get really fired up about. Laziness and spoiled behavior ranks near the top with stupidity following close behind.
So what happened to Helen Keller once she learned a little discipline? She finished school and graduated from the prestigious Radcliffe College - cum laude - in 1904. She spent 25 years struggling to learn to speak so others could understand her. She remained close to Annie for 49 years. Unfortunately, Annie married a socialist and that influenced Helen politically (so sad). But...you can't deny the great accomplishments she achieved.
During her lifetime, she received many honors in recognition of her accomplishments including the Theodore Roosevelt Distinguished Service Medal in 1936, the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1964, and election to the Women's Hall of Fame in 1965. She received honorary doctoral degrees from Temple University and Harvard University and from the universities of Glasgow, Scotland; Berlin, Germany; Delhi, India; and Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa. She was also an Honorary Fellow of the Educational Institute of Scotland. She mastered five languages and wrote 12 books.
It is truly amazing what an individual can do when they refuse to give up, when they are determined to work hard and when they are committed to making a difference in their world!
Have a wonderful Labor Day,
God loves you,
Debbie
Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, July 1, 2007
What makes a winner?
The family insisted that I take it easy today. They think I need a little time to get over the hospital stay. I've propped my feet up and feel like a real princess receiving her every wish.
I love old movies. Anything black and white is all right with me. It's not just the lack of color but rather the infusion of great morals and values. I love watching men and women push for the best, reach for the stars and go deep within themselves to find honor.
I've been watching Knute Rockne, All American with Ronald Reagan. I'm not a sports person and barely know the rules of any sport. I love the way many of those old movies present the most impossible situations (many of them true stories) yet men of strong character find a way to push through and overcome. This movie reminded me of another sports movie Rudy. In that movie (also about Notre Dame) Rudy has to overcome the internal battle that we all must face - our fear and doubt in our own abilities.
It seems to me that the only really tough battles are those within our own character.
When people have to do without things they get creative and usually find a way to keep going. But when a person allows the twists and turns in life to destroy his determination, then he is truly lost. As long as we find the strength to push through the depression, discouragement, sorrow, despair, slump, hard times and defeat - we will be winners. We are never defeated as long as we continue to try.
The best example of pushing through the hard times is the new movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. It's a hard movie to watch because you are sure with each twist and turn that Chris Gardner will have to give up. Each problem builds on the previous until you are positive there is no way he will overcome. By the end I was in total crying meltdown. The truly amazing part of the story is that it is all true. He was victorious (sorry if I ruined it for you - still good to watch) and so fantastically successful that his story not only made a movie but is still on the New York Times Best seller list.
Will it make your child a winner to give him everything he wants or needs and require nothing in return?
NO
Will it give your child character to come to his rescue with every little problem and never allow him to work things out on his own?
NO
Will you be able to prepare your child to make it in this world if you keep him so comfortable he never experiences pain, suffering or distress of any kind.
NO
As good parents we have to know the Balance Needed to teach our children how to make it when times are rough and how to keep our character strong when we are enjoying the good times.
How?
Make sure your children see the good in family members and that they understand that having character and honor is far more important than money or success. If you have a million dollars but your wife hates you - you are not a success. If you are the president of a large corporation but you barely know your child's name - you are not a success. If you have fame or power but your friends think you are a jerk, what's the point?
Make sure you find ways to help your children practice doing without. For example, don't give them every big name toy. Give them tools to make their own toys. One year my children begged for a laser tag game. It had guns, arm bands and a vest that were all set to ring with the laser. Trouble was we couldn't afford it. Solution: I made vests with Velcro and gave them guns that shot ping pong balls. We covered the balls with Velcro. Okay, maybe you couldn't shoot quiet as far but the running, screaming, laughing and playing was just as loud as it would have been with the $200 game.
When we could, we bought the real stuff. Just as often, we made look-a-likes.
Part of your job as parent is to be the protector. Never put your child in a position to be mentally or physically damaged. Do allow your child to go beyond the status quo. Allow him to try difficult things and encourage him when he is down. Give your child wings and then step back and allow him to fly. There will be times when the best decision is to back off or quit. But with each try your child will become stronger and with each success your child will be able to take anything life dishes out.
God loves you,
Debbie
I love old movies. Anything black and white is all right with me. It's not just the lack of color but rather the infusion of great morals and values. I love watching men and women push for the best, reach for the stars and go deep within themselves to find honor.
I've been watching Knute Rockne, All American with Ronald Reagan. I'm not a sports person and barely know the rules of any sport. I love the way many of those old movies present the most impossible situations (many of them true stories) yet men of strong character find a way to push through and overcome. This movie reminded me of another sports movie Rudy. In that movie (also about Notre Dame) Rudy has to overcome the internal battle that we all must face - our fear and doubt in our own abilities.
It seems to me that the only really tough battles are those within our own character.
When people have to do without things they get creative and usually find a way to keep going. But when a person allows the twists and turns in life to destroy his determination, then he is truly lost. As long as we find the strength to push through the depression, discouragement, sorrow, despair, slump, hard times and defeat - we will be winners. We are never defeated as long as we continue to try.
The best example of pushing through the hard times is the new movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. It's a hard movie to watch because you are sure with each twist and turn that Chris Gardner will have to give up. Each problem builds on the previous until you are positive there is no way he will overcome. By the end I was in total crying meltdown. The truly amazing part of the story is that it is all true. He was victorious (sorry if I ruined it for you - still good to watch) and so fantastically successful that his story not only made a movie but is still on the New York Times Best seller list.
Will it make your child a winner to give him everything he wants or needs and require nothing in return?
NO
Will it give your child character to come to his rescue with every little problem and never allow him to work things out on his own?
NO
Will you be able to prepare your child to make it in this world if you keep him so comfortable he never experiences pain, suffering or distress of any kind.
NO
As good parents we have to know the Balance Needed to teach our children how to make it when times are rough and how to keep our character strong when we are enjoying the good times.
How?
Make sure your children see the good in family members and that they understand that having character and honor is far more important than money or success. If you have a million dollars but your wife hates you - you are not a success. If you are the president of a large corporation but you barely know your child's name - you are not a success. If you have fame or power but your friends think you are a jerk, what's the point?
Make sure you find ways to help your children practice doing without. For example, don't give them every big name toy. Give them tools to make their own toys. One year my children begged for a laser tag game. It had guns, arm bands and a vest that were all set to ring with the laser. Trouble was we couldn't afford it. Solution: I made vests with Velcro and gave them guns that shot ping pong balls. We covered the balls with Velcro. Okay, maybe you couldn't shoot quiet as far but the running, screaming, laughing and playing was just as loud as it would have been with the $200 game.
When we could, we bought the real stuff. Just as often, we made look-a-likes.
Part of your job as parent is to be the protector. Never put your child in a position to be mentally or physically damaged. Do allow your child to go beyond the status quo. Allow him to try difficult things and encourage him when he is down. Give your child wings and then step back and allow him to fly. There will be times when the best decision is to back off or quit. But with each try your child will become stronger and with each success your child will be able to take anything life dishes out.
God loves you,
Debbie
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