Life Is FUN!

Even with all the sorrow, pain, insecurities, problems and frustrations; it is possible to have fun. Unfortunately, I think too many Americans have forgotten how to have fun.

Fun is not about money or vacationing at a four star resort.

It’s not about traveling and it’s not about staying home.

Fun is not about having the right clothes or even dating the most popular person.

It’s not having a four-figure job or owning a boat.

It’s not about winning awards or even walking away with two degrees.

It’s definitely not about abusing others so you can feel like you “one upped” them or stomping on someone’s ego so you can high five your friend.

Real fun is about looking at the world through the wide eyes of a child. Have you ever watched a wide-eyed child as he runs through his first visit to the zoo? “Oh mommy, look at this. Wow look at that daddy. Can I pet it? What’s its name? How can it do that?” On the way home he sleeps hard because his little body has been rushed with adrenalin as he experienced the day to it’s fullest. That's real fun!

How does an adult capture those moments? We can’t go back and be a child experiencing life for the first time again? Or can we.

Watch any grandparent and you will see that wild-eyed excitement on their faces. Do you have to wait until then? Absolutely NOT.

Look around for experiences you missed. If it’s been a long time since you rode that bike hanging in the garage, get it out. But don’t ride it for exercise, ride it for fun. Try to find something unusual on your ride. Stop and talk to neighbor. Look for flowers or animals you’ve never noticed. Instead of pushing for a 10-mile ride, take it to a parking lot and see how many shapes you can do. Make a circle, a figure eight or a box. When you find something unusual make a big deal out of it.

I remember a very special walk with my Dad. I was about eleven and we decided to walk a mile to a Krystal and have breakfast. It was one of those silver diners with counter seating and a waitress that called out funny names for our order. That was cool enough, but the neatest part of the walk was when Dad pointed out a bush that he said was magic. We rubbed the leaves and he told me we would check it when we returned. I was excited all through the meal wondering what this bush could do. When we checked it coming home, all the tiny leaves had closed in response to my touch. He said that was how they trapped dew. He continued by being silly and talking about how we should hold out our tongue at night. There we were walking down a busy street with our tongues hanging out and wondering how the bush felt. Though I don't remember the name of the bush, I've never forgotten that wonderful morning with my Dad or the laughter we shared.

After I became an adult and mentioned this experience to Dad, I found out how special it really was. Dad was suffering with a huge problem at that time. He was hurt, worried and a little angry. Yet he stepped outside of his problems to have fun with me. It gave both of us a wonderful memory and helped him deal with his stress.

Next time you are grocery-shopping look for the most unusual item you can find. Surprise your family with some unusual dish or fruit to try. Encourage them to research it and find out where it came from and how it’s used. Be sure and get a little silly while you teach them to laugh. Make up silly games and search for the usual or ridiculous. I’m always looking for a way to have fun with my life. Why do I think this is so important?

Having silly fun can be a huge stress reliever as well as a bond between members of the family. In the 60’s there was an expensive resort located on a farm in Switzerland that provided a week of rejuvenation for high stress executives. For $5,000 an executive could spend the week on the farm as ----a child.

What? Yep! He/she would dress like a little child with anklets, saddle shoes, short skirts or knickers. They would play tag, search for frogs, play in the sandbox and in all respects become a child again. They ate macaroni and cheese, drank milk and took afternoon naps. At the end of the week every participant said they felt revived and calm. They returned to work with a new lease on life.

You can have that same experience on a regular basis without the high price tag. All you have to do is STOP! Stop rushing through your life. Search your world for an experience (without consequences) that you’ve never had. The simple things usually have the biggest rewards.

Make a big deal or have a party to celebrate your new interest. Announce it to the world….”I’m going to dissect a worm. I was sick the day they did it in High School and I want to go back and have that experience.” Gather your family together for Worm Exploration day. Purchase a new knife or paint one you have. Take pictures. Make it fun by being silly. Pretend to be the class clown and chase your family around the kitchen while you dangle a juicy worm at them. Laugh and have fun with it. Don’t treat it like a college term paper. Treat it as if you were a comedian like Mark Lowry or Robin Williams.

Want an example? Come back tomorrow and view my blog called City Gal meets a Country Cow. Yes! I milked a cow – and yes….there will be pictures!

God loves you,

Debbie

You Never Know....

We are visiting our son in Illinois this week. His church has a coffee shop beside the auditorium where people can gather and get to know each other. It's a lovely spot to wait for the service and connect with other people. Ron and I were talking to Steve, a man who is committed to service. He has one ministry now and is waiting on God for another one to begin. He was hopeful about the future but I could hear the little twinge in his voice. We encouraged him to be patient in his waiting because, you never know.....

It's always so hard to wait on God. When we are able to see his hand moving just ahead in front of us, we step lively and keep up the pace. But when that hand moves out of sight or is covered with fog, we get nervous. We squint and rush ahead further hoping that he just moved a few feet out of sight. When that doesn't work we dart side to side searching for warmth that might indicate he was there. Finally we may get out our handy spotlight and see if we can catch even a shadow of his presence. If he can't be seen we slump down in the middle of the path discouraged and feel as if he has abandon his child.

The truth of the matter is that sometimes when God seems to disappear - he is actually preparing the way before us. God has prepared the way for the Jansen's many times. The most astonishing was with Ron's job. He had a superior position in management in the main office of Roadway Express. In order to change the direction of his career and to have more opportunities, he decided to apply for line haul manager. It would mean a move out of the main office to one of Roadway's city terminals. His resume was impressive so we didn't feel it would be a problem for him to slide into that role.

He applied for the position in Memphis. We prayed for God to have his way and to guide us in this decision. He was passed over for the position. He applied for the position in Dallas and again he was denied in favor of a less qualified person. Several years later he tried again for the position at White Pines. We drove down together praying all the time for God to let us move. It was a beautiful southern town and would be closer to my aging parents. I remember sitting in a restaurant when a waitress used her soothing southern drawl to ask, "Sweet tea with that?" I started to cry. Oh to be back in a sleepy little southern town with sweet tea, biscuits and pine trees spiraling toward the sky.

Just 24 hours after we were home Ron received the news that a much less qualified man would receive the position. We were stunned. Friends at the office asked, "Ron - what are you doing in these interviews? You are the only man for these jobs and yet they pass you by." While they were joking I could see the concern in Ron's eyes. He began to worry about his future and his ability to move up the ladder. He softly asked, "I don't know what's wrong with me." I began to pray harder for God to bless this wonderful hard working man.

It was only six months before we had part of the answer. They announced that they would be closing the White Pines terminal. Hum....if Ron had received that position he would have lost his job. The prayers of "why" quickly became "Oh, thank you God."

God's hand came into full focus about a year later when Roadway was bought out by Yellow. One of the first acts of the new owners was to fire all the line haul managers across the board.

YIKES! No matter where Ron applied, if he had received the job - he would have been fired. Instead of losing his job he was actually promoted by the new owners.

What a lesson in God's protection. Every time we pray for anything, we always ask that God guide and protect us in whatever decision we are trying to make. Over the years God has truly answered our prayers. He has kept us out of harms way and provided for us even when we couldn't imagine the pending doom.

I hope you will be encouraged to allow God to protect you. No matter how much you want what you are praying for....God can see the future. Trust Him to lead, guide and "protect" your future.

God loves you,

Debbie

IKE, APPLES AND FAITH

What a crazy week this has been. Last Friday I was in Michigan with Dr. Lazar of Lazar Spinal care. I've assumed the position of Director of Counseling. I will travel to Michigan once a month to handle the counseling needs of his practice and to be on his hour long radio show. When the radio show is available for "streaming", I'll let you know.

While there I prayed for the victims of hurricane IKE. Ialso thought about their desperate problems when I had to drive home in the rain. Sunday was a beautiful day here in Ohio and I began to work on blogs, books, articles and cleaning up a messy office.

Sunday afternoon, Ike made his presence known in Ohio. We didn't see a lot of rain, but the winds were awful. Power went out all over town. We were one of the lucky ones that kept power but...no cable, phones or Internet.

Monday, Ron left for work, hoping he wouldn't sit around all day and I grabbed the trash can to take it to the street. There was no way I could drag my trash can to the street until I carved a path through the apples.

We have two lovely apple trees on our property. The apples aren't good for snacking but they make wonderful apple pies or applesauce. There was a good crop this year, but most of it now lay on the ground. I grabbed a rake and began herding them into a pile. Herding is definitely the right word because they often escaped my rake and tried to run down the driveway toward the street.

Since it was prayer time anyway, I prayed as I raked. I prayed for neighbors who were chopping down trees and calling insurance companies instead of chasing apples. I prayed again for the victims of this horrible storm. But then, God gave me a lesson of faith while staring down at bruised and broken apples.

Why had so many beautiful apples with great potential, left the tree that gave them life? Oh, I know the scientific reason - but for the sake of a spiritual analogy, let's take this in a different direction.

If those apples had stayed on the tree, they would continue to get the nourishment they need to grow and become all they were meant to be.

Instead, when life got hard - when the winds pelted and hurt - when they were tossed around and pushed to the limit of their endurance - they let go. They decided that being calm and still was more important than reaching their highest potential.

Those perfect (at least some of them) apples hit the ground with a thud. They were calm. They were still. But forever.....they will be bruised. They will never know the success that could have been. They will never again feel the nourishment of the life giving tree. They will not be able to grow beyond this point. Are they useless? Absolutely not. They can be picked up and used. I can cut out the bruised area and slice them for pies or applesauce.

Unless....I don't have time to get to them for a while. Everyday that I wait to deal with the bruises, the decay spreads. Even now while I'm writing to you decay is making it's way through the "good" areas of my apples.

Even though I took about 15 pictures of the apples to document the different lessons I learn that day, for the sake of time I'll stop and explain what we have so far.

Jesus is the tree of life. No matter what storms come our way we "must" hold tightly to the life he brings. Never give up, never let go, never let your mind imagine that anything is better than being with him. Even pain is better with Him than on our own. Even chaos or storms are better with Him than on our own.

The moment you let go of Jesus, you fall. And when you hit the ground, the problem you have been avoiding will hit you full force.

It will cause a bruising and a sore spot that will only get worse. And....the horror of your situation will be multiplied because you are surrounded by others that are bruised. You won't find comfort or real answers from any of them. Life on the ground is no better. You may be stepped on, run over with a car or simply pushed around by a crazy woman with a rake until you are dizzy with sorrow.

The only way to see clearly is to look up. Gaze on the strength of the tree and the life it gives. Admire the apples that chose to stay close to the tree. Watch them grow and become all they were designed to be.

Just like me, the Savior still calls to those who lie on the ground. He loves them. He picks them up and uses the good in their lives to fashion a new purpose and a new plan.

But....it's the apples left on the tree that will enjoy the greatest blessing. They will understand the depth of Timothy's words in 2 Timothy 4:7

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

We all have bruises. I have many of my own. None of us can be perfect. But there is one point that can't be served through my analogy.

Jesus has the ability to cut out the bruised portion of our life and re-connect us to HIS tree. We can go on and be all he called us to be. We may have to suffer some consequences - but we can become even better than we were before.

So thanks IKE. I had a lot of apples to pick up, but I also renewed my faith. As I pray today, I hope you will join me.....

"Thank you God for accepting me as I am. Thank you for healing my bruises and making me whole again. Please reconnect me with your life and help me to be all that I can be. I'm holding on a little tighter now because I see how very much I need you.

Thank you for giving me one more chance to be the Apple of your Eye. I love you."

God loves you,

Debbie

Where is the "friend" store???

There are thousands of people across this country that feel lonely and afraid. Many of them have legitimate reasons for their feelings. They are ignored and shunned by the younger crowd or they are snubbed because they don't wear the right clothes. They often ask, "Where is the friend store? I need a good friend."

There is an art to making and finding good friends. The principle of making good friends should be taught from the time our children can speak or walk. We all need the touch and the love of people outside our family circle. When Jamie and Amie were born there was a sign on the hospital nursery window, "Children are born with a need for love and they never outgrow it."

Since the need for love will always be with your children, teaching them how to make friends will enrich their lives forever. And for all the children out there - it's a two way street. Don't forget about your parents just because they've retired. They still need your love every day as well. Call them, get together and let them know you love them. Shame on you if you put them in a home and "forget" to drop by or neglect them for weeks on end.

To research this subject so you can properly teach it to your children, I recommend a wonderful book. My Dad made me read it three times. How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie is an excellence resource. To help teach your children the subject, you might want to pick up How to win Friends and Influence people for Teen Girls by Donna Dale Carnegie. She brings the topic down to a fun level where teens can relate and enjoy finding new ways to communicate.

For now, here's a few suggestions:

1. Join a club or church that agrees with your lifestyle, faith, age or hobbies. If you don't like what's going on, you'll come off as argumentative and before you know it you'll be sitting alone. Pick a group that you can agree with.

2. Focus on others. Don't talk about yourself even when you're given the floor. Try to find out as much as you can about others, their likes, dislikes and beliefs. After you've made "good" friends they will make it a point to learn about you.

3. Remember that a huge part of finding friends is learning how to be a good friend. Having friends is a costly job. There are certain things you will need to do.

• Remember birthdays and special events.
• Be present in their lives. Call them often and meet them for a meal.
• Take an interest in their families, what's going on at work and after work fun.
• Be willing to help them with problems, work, or other needs.
• Be willing to drop what you are doing and be there for tragedies or whenever they need a hug.
• Be willing to forgive when they let you down.
• Love them as Christ first loved you.
  

Remember also that there are times when you need to walk away from a friend. If they become possessive, controlling or hurtful - you might need to walk away. Just be sure their pain isn't a result of your negligence.

Last Monday - Labor Day - we spent time with our good friends Gary and Viki Huff. I spent most of the morning making the best peach pie ever !!! As Guy Fieri the food network chef would say - I also made some "killer" peach ice cream. I was on my feet from around 9am until 3pm making the deserts, scratch mashed potatoes, sliced tomatoes, biscuits and getting the chicken ready.

When we arrived at Viki's she had been cooking as well. She had fried squash, fried okra, sweet tea, corn on the cob, southern milk gravy and southern cornbread. Yep, you got it. We were planning a supper good enough to send you to cholesterol heaven. With five people bustling in the kitchen, it got hot real quick. We finally sat down and giggled our way through the meal.

At the end of the day my feet hurt, my joints were sore and my cholesterol was up. All of us had worked part of our day. But...we had friends.

I've listened when people say, "Oh that's too much trouble or I just don't have time." They fuss about being lonely but have decided the work isn't worth the friendship. When we left the Huffs we all had a satisfaction that one can only enjoy when you've been in the presence of friends. Sure we were tired, but we had friends.

I hope that no matter how old I get I'll be able to do my part to get involved with my friends. Do yourself a favor. Don't worry about the "friend" store where you can customize the perfect friend. Get involved and love the people around you. You will be blessed by their warmth and their love.

God loves you,

Debbie