Recently Ron and I visited a local church. It was a denomination that we trusted and we hoped we would find comfort and encouragement.
It's getting harder and harder for us to find music that fits the Christian compromise and provides some sort of inspiration to mature audiences as well as young people. We stood and tried to smile politely while several young people who obviously had never seen a chord chart banged and screeched their guitars until the audience was battered into a ringing stupor.
The prayer was more of a generic call to the four winds than it was a genuine conversation with a familiar God. After a long list of announcements and a video of flashing lights that pleaded with us to attend a dinner, the pastor finally took the stage.
He was about our age but looked as if he had been dragged into a teeny bop mall by a group of Hollywood designers. His hair was salt and pepper but spiked high enough to make any rock star proud. He had a tan that would make George Hamilton jealous. He wore cowboy boots and jeans that were frayed and torn at the knees. He wore a sports shirt - collar unbuttoned - under a suit jacket. He proudly waved a hand that revealed a gaudy gold and diamond ring and a gold watch so big that selling it would have funded a small clinic for a week. He jumped and jittered when he talked and tried to look hip. He introduced his wife so she could make an announcement. She took the stage in 4 inch heels, Tammy Faye makeup and a short skirt. I had to look at the bulletin again to be sure I was in church and not at a seminar on how to look young even when you aren't.
Looking around the room I wondered who they were trying to appeal to. 90% of the congregation was my age, dressed in suits and sitting with their arms crossed. Someone was filming the service so maybe, I thought, maybe he's going to show it on the local Rock and Roll station.
I did my best to get past the way he looked and moved on to what he was saying. For 20 minutes I struggled to pay attention. Not because I was tired or didn't want to be there, but because it was an elementary Sunday School lesson. I dare say if anyone in the audience had attended church or Sunday school for the past 5 years - they did not need this simple sermon. Most people were yawning or doodling or even dozing off.
Finally he showed another video that was nothing more than a moving background with words while some deep throat narrator read the script. I assumed this video was for people in the audience who couldn't read. At this point I punched Ron and gave him a tsk tsk tsk for dozing off. He rolled his eyes and whispered, "I need something stimulating to stay awake."
Finally the pastor caused both of us to resurrect. He boldly announced that God was so impressed with a prophets dedication that he was going to accept the prophets prostitute wife as God's own bride! That got my attention. I scrambled to find a pen and write down the scripture reference but he didn't include that in his tirade about how God wants us all to keep coming back even when we sin and that God will always always always forgives. "After all" he yelled, "we are all his children and he loves us so much he can't bear to turn us away."
With this proclamation Ron and I sat up straight and began shaking our heads no. We believe that God loves to forgive us even when we fail at ridding our life of sin....but....even with God there is a limit. (Romans 1:28) I was writing fast and furious in order to keep myself from jumping to my feet and yelling "Are you crazy?" Obviously we didn't want that kind of scene. This pastor was almost begging the congregants to sin and test the fact that God wasn't really about Hell but only about loving. Finally my anger turned to fear and then to compassion. I began to cry for all those listening. I began to wonder what kind of other lies he was telling this congregation. I wondered how many people would be lead astray because this pastor wanted fame.
How do I know he wanted fame? That's all most pastors talk about any more. They don't talk about how much time they spend visiting the elderly or shut ins. They don't talk about sitting at a young mother's kitchen table and discussing the Bible while she washes dishes or praying with those in the hospital all through the night until miraculously they recover.
Nope....no time for that kind of foolishness. Pastors have laid that kind of talk down or simply delegated it to someone whose not as important as they are. Pastors have to have time to get a tan and run 5 miles a day to stay in shape --- for who? Pastors have to have time to meet with business people and design all sorts of programs so they can draw in the crowds.
And who teaches and prays and makes a personal connection with the congregation? Sometimes the staff - but more than likely that job goes to....no one. That single mom either has to commit to another Bible study in order to make friends or go it alone in her problems. GET INVOLVED is the mandate. How can we help you unless you are involved?
Once many years ago when I asked what I thought was a caring pastor to visit my dis-illusioned son he replied, "Now Debbie. I don't have time to go out and visit with everyone that calls on me. Tell your son to come to church and get involved. If he's in my inner circle I'll have plenty of time to meet his needs." I had to hang up quick before I exploded. What about Jesus command to go out and search for the one lost sheep? What about Jesus call to go into all the world? What about Jesus rebuke of men who favored one sheep over another?
Being a pastor isn't about numbers or how cool you look. Being a good pastor is about being a great shepherd. It's about searching for the lost and being willing to spend whatever time is needed on one single sheep.
I'm terribly afraid that when God begins his judgement of the church, most of the numbers will disappear. I'm afraid when God returns He will find people who saw the church as a safe place to join and have fun without being forced to study and know the character of God. I'm afraid that many people attend today's mega churches so they can tell their neighbors they are Christian, speak some Christianise and have a social club that's safe and fun. All the while they sit in the back and hide the very sins that will keep them out of heaven. Thinking that it's just a matter of accepting that there may be a God but never surrendering to a Savior - they rock along happy that the church they attend is an insurance policy to avoid Hell in the afterlife.
The pastor gets to feel like a rock star, the church member gets to hide his sin and they all have fun doing the program happy dance. Until......God and his holy angels swoop in and yell, "That's it. Everybody out of the pool!" God sits on his throne and begins to pronounce judgement on all the lives that haven't followed his Word.
"Did you take care of my sheep!" God yells at pastor pop star. He straightens his shoulders and announces, "I had 3,546 people in church last Sunday."
God slams his hand on his chair. The angels bow their heads and fold their wings. "Out of those 3,546 people only 47 are going to be saved. I repeat....Did you take care of my sheep!"
"Ahhh....well.....you see sir.....I uh....I preached about loving each other and well....they just didn't listen."
God stands up and his base voice booms. "Did you tell them about sin? Did you visit 92 year old Aunt Lucy that helped to start your church? Did you give her communion and pray with her when she was lonely? Did you sing her favorite hymn until she finished wiping tears from her eyes? Did you visit Mary when her husband died? Did you pray with John when he lost his son?"
"Ahhh...well....um....they weren't on my schedule. It must have been an oversight on the part of my secretary. I'm an important pastor you know."
God raises his finger and growls. "Did you tell the pre-teens that premarital sex is a sin? Did you tell them that all liars will have their day in hell? Did you tell them to respect their parents - did you respect their parents?"
The pastor is now on his knees. "I had 3,546 people in church." His voice trails off as God motions to the angels of judgment.
"I commit you to everlasting Hell. You did not respect my people. You did not teach them about me. You were just as wicked as any sinner."
I personally don't want a hip pastor or music that appeals to local bars. I don't want a pastor that would be more comfortable on TV than in my living room. I want a pastor that knows the way to heaven. I want a pastor that I feel comfortable crying on his shoulder or telling him my problems. I want a pastor whose both compassionate and kind but knows enough about sin to guide me to heaven - not send me to hell. I want someone who knows that he has been given the greatest honor of all, he's been asked to be a shepherd to God's flock.
Hum....makes you think doesn't it?
God loves you,
Debbie
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Political Thoughts
Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.
'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language.. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.'
Theodore Roosevelt 1907
Perhaps we need to investigate why our forefathers believed as they did. Are we missing something with our current political policies? Perhaps our forefathers knew that once you begin to chip away at our uniqueness you erode our exceptionalism. Perhaps our forefathers felt that while we grow we need to preserve the core of our beliefs and our strengths.
We used to be called the melting pot. When I heard that as a child, I imagined a huge black cauldron that had soup in it. Now that I'm older I realize what makes a good soup. A good soup is a blending of flavors. Each ingredient adds something to the pot but it gives up it's own flavor in order to blend together and make a "new" and different flavor. You may add onions to a pot of soup but if onions are all you taste then it can't be a melting pot of blended soup. Instead it becomes onion soup only. The onions must give up their flavor so that it can be blended with other ingredients to make something new....to make a new soup that stands alone in flavor.
Last night I made a blended soup. I used onions, garlic, red bell pepper, chicken bouillon, chicken chunks, corn, celery and something new....I added smoked paprika. The soup was wonderful! But as I sat there enjoying every bite I realized that the flavors were different from what I normally enjoyed. I had created a wonderful new taste with the melting of flavors. The smoked paprika had added some new taste. It wasn't a harsh paprika taste but it created this wonderful new dimension that gave the soup a depth of flavor. I couldn't pick out a distinct paprika or onion or even garlic taste. They had all blended to make something new.
That's what America should be. A blending of people and backgrounds. None of us should stand out but instead we should all be committed to one goal - American Patriotism. We should all be committed to American Strength, American freedom and American exceptionalism. We should be the best. Not the best woman or the best Mexican or the best Indian or even the best heritage with relatives dating back to the Mayflower. While we may celebrate those things within our groups - we should not demand that others be like us or even adopt our heritage. Instead, we should and must be the best AMERICANS...period. We should love the American flag, the pledge of allegiance and American capitalism. We should be Americans to the core. If you were born elsewhere and have become an American citizen then your loyalty should be to America. You should embrace her as you would new parents who decided to adopt. You should be proud to be a part of the country you have chosen.
Why would that be important? If we don't blend then we aren't connected. If we are more concerned about being Dutch or Italian or Muslim than we are about being American then fights break out and we lose that connective string that keeps us moving forward. I don't understand why anyone would come to this country or stay in this country if they adamantly disagree with the country - unless they simply want us to fail so they can steal our land. If we are constantly fighting about who we are or who we should be...then we fall victim to another old but very wise statement, "A house divided against itself will not stand." - Abraham Lincoln
Read the entire speech and you'll see that President Lincoln was explaining that if we fight each other one idea will win out. The two ideas stand as opposites and will determine what kind of country we become. Fighting and straying from the core of who we are will ultimately change the entire framework of America.
Wikipedia states....
The speech contains the quotation "A house divided against itself cannot stand," which is taken from Matthew 12:25: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand." Lincoln was referring to the division of the country between slave and free states. The "house divided" phrase had been used by others before, and by Lincoln himself in another context in 1843. Most famously, eight years before Lincoln's speech, during the Senate debate on the Compromise of 1850, Sam Houston had proclaimed: "A nation divided against itself cannot stand." During the War of 1812 a similar line appeared in a letter from Abigail Adams to Mercy Otis Warren. Mrs. Adams wrote "... A house divided upon itself - and upon that foundation do our enemies build their hopes of subduing us."
Seems to me this has been a problem for a long time. I hope America will wake up and learn from our forefathers. I hope that we will understand what it means and what kind of commitment it will take to be "One nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all!"
God loves you and God Bless America
Debbie
Monday, May 2, 2011
Interview with Debbie - Does God have answers?
Do you really believe there are answers for every problem?
Yes, of course I do. I feel that way because I’m a Christian and I believe that God is all knowing and all powerful. What does it say about God if he made the world and all inhabitants but he doesn’t have answers for our problems and doesn’t want to be involved?
Thinking that God is not involved in our lives or that he doesn’t have answers reduces God to a simple creative artist. It takes away his power.
I’m sure that some folks who have been hit with terrible tragedies feel as though God could have intervened or maybe they are mad that it happened in the first place. That’s a hard pill to swallow unless you look at the facts.
God can be all powerful and ready to help you and give you a good life….but your actions or the actions of others can throw negative forces in the mix that change the dynamics of the situation.
God can also have a marvelous plan for you, but if you stomp your foot and shake your fist at him in defiance refusing to follow the plan – it may not materialize.
God might then go to work to develop a new plan…a plan that will get you out of the mess you are in, but no matter how much information he sends your way…if you aren’t listening - how can He help you? Like a little two-year old in a mall and on the run….no matter how much God calls you and demands that you come back, you keep running.
Think for a moment where we would be today if America and our government had not answered the call of the Jewish people suffering under the brutal Hitler? God provided an answer because our men were willing to stand up for those who couldn't fight for their own freedom.
It’s important to remember that even though God is loving and does all He can to help us…He ultimately works through us. Our participation in His plan is a key element of success.
REMEMBER - God never forces anyone to do anything. He works through us and through our will. Because he waits to work through us, often there are times when Christians suffer as victims.
There are times when good Christians are simply victims. Don't be discouraged if you are doing all you can and the answer hasn't come. There are times when we are truly victims and did nothing to cause our problems. But again....God has to work through other people. That's why it's so important to listen to the leading of God. Often we are being asked to "help rescue" someone in pain. Be careful in those situations but don't ever run away from being God's help to ease the suffering of those around you.
In some situations we didn’t do anything to cause the problem and like Job there’s not a lot we can do to get out of the problem. Car accidents, abductions, rapes, evil men and women and yes….even some Christians can create true victims that have no power over the situation they are in. That’s when the rest of us must be compassionate and allow God to use us to bring about a God inspired solution to their problems.
Again, if we listen to God’s gentle voice, become A+ biblical students and dedicate our lives to living for Him; we can be the solution to the majority of problems around us.
God loves you,
Debbie
Thinking that God is not involved in our lives or that he doesn’t have answers reduces God to a simple creative artist. It takes away his power.
I’m sure that some folks who have been hit with terrible tragedies feel as though God could have intervened or maybe they are mad that it happened in the first place. That’s a hard pill to swallow unless you look at the facts.
God can be all powerful and ready to help you and give you a good life….but your actions or the actions of others can throw negative forces in the mix that change the dynamics of the situation.
God can also have a marvelous plan for you, but if you stomp your foot and shake your fist at him in defiance refusing to follow the plan – it may not materialize.
God might then go to work to develop a new plan…a plan that will get you out of the mess you are in, but no matter how much information he sends your way…if you aren’t listening - how can He help you? Like a little two-year old in a mall and on the run….no matter how much God calls you and demands that you come back, you keep running.
Think for a moment where we would be today if America and our government had not answered the call of the Jewish people suffering under the brutal Hitler? God provided an answer because our men were willing to stand up for those who couldn't fight for their own freedom.
It’s important to remember that even though God is loving and does all He can to help us…He ultimately works through us. Our participation in His plan is a key element of success.
REMEMBER - God never forces anyone to do anything. He works through us and through our will. Because he waits to work through us, often there are times when Christians suffer as victims.
There are times when good Christians are simply victims. Don't be discouraged if you are doing all you can and the answer hasn't come. There are times when we are truly victims and did nothing to cause our problems. But again....God has to work through other people. That's why it's so important to listen to the leading of God. Often we are being asked to "help rescue" someone in pain. Be careful in those situations but don't ever run away from being God's help to ease the suffering of those around you.
In some situations we didn’t do anything to cause the problem and like Job there’s not a lot we can do to get out of the problem. Car accidents, abductions, rapes, evil men and women and yes….even some Christians can create true victims that have no power over the situation they are in. That’s when the rest of us must be compassionate and allow God to use us to bring about a God inspired solution to their problems.
Again, if we listen to God’s gentle voice, become A+ biblical students and dedicate our lives to living for Him; we can be the solution to the majority of problems around us.
God loves you,
Debbie
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Is Christianity doomed?
My heart sank and I felt my stomach roll. I was about to check a new website when my eye caught an article on the aol home page. Wisconsin church members charged with abusing infants
I hesitated and thought about not reading the article. So many people are giving Christianity a bad name because they don't know the truth. By their ignorance or because they have psychological issues, they are actually working "against" the truth of the gospel and are more on the side of Satan than on God's side. It just breaks my heart to read these accounts.
But...because I'm also dealing with the need to teach you about "false prophets" and how you can know for sure who they are....I felt I had to read the article.
I cried.
I cried for the abuse and the future of those children. I cried for the way they will always view God and I cried for how long it will take for them to obtain a normal self esteem.
Here's a bit of the article......
Pastor Philip Caminiti, 53, and his brother, John Caminiti, 45, were charged with a dozen counts of child abuse last week and also pleaded innocent. The victims included 12 children ranging in age from infancy to 6 years old, according to the sheriff's office.
"During interviews with detectives, Phil expressed his belief that the Bible dictates the use of a rod over a hand to punish children. He stated that children only a few months old are 'worthy' of the rod and that by 'one and a half months,' a child is old enough to be spanked," according to the sheriff's office release.
"Throughout the investigation, the church members were open with detectives about their 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' philosophy. They described using wooden dowels and wooden spoons on the bare skin of children, starting as young as 2 months old," the sheriff's office said.
......Agh!!!!
Can you believe this garbage? Can you see Jesus taking a wooden spoon to a baby that barely knows the scent of his mother or father muchless the difference between right and wrong?
I cried for the harsh way innocent babies are being abuse. Until children can use language to express some sort of knowledge of wrong doing - they live in a very simple world. They don't mean to cry when you are busy - they simply don't know any other way to tell you they are hungry or wet or tired or bored. To spank a one month old is not only barbaric it says that the adult is one of the most cruel selfish beings on the planet. What kind of deranged mind would insist that an innocent baby obey? It seems this lunatic who calls himself a preacher doesn't really care for his members but instead is only interested in control and absolute quiet while he's speaking. He is not caring for them or loving them as Christ would. My only thought for him as a person is to wonder how he is going to feel when God gives him the same mercy he has shown the children in his flock.
While I have taught that we need to help a baby know what to do in certain situations (by the tone of our voice only) even that form of communication shouldn't be considered until the child is sitting up and totally tuned in to your facial expressions and your voice. Those first few months of sweetness and innocence should be used to build a bond between you and your infant. That's when you cuddle and share your love through physical touch. That's not a time to introduce pain and suffering. (Actually pain and suffering should never be used anytime during any relationship.)
According to this article the children often were punished when they cried or failed to sit still during church services, a former church member told authorities. "Phil was very strict about children being quiet during church," the complaint states.
Sounds to me like a bully who doesn't want to be interrupted. This type of behavior from a so-called preacher and the behavior of a congregation that allows him to get away with this nonsense is exactly why Liberals view Christianity in a negative way.
Want to know why we are losing the spiritual battle in this country? It's because Christians who are living a truly Christ centered life are not speaking up and people who are as controlling as the Taliban and other wacko groups are moving to the front and taking over.
It boggles my mind that 1/10 of our society is now taking the stage and demanding that 90% of society do what they want. Between Muslims, gays, liberals, atheists and politicians - we are being attacked on all sides. But even if you add all those people together, they only represent a small percentage of our country. So tell me.....Why are they taking over and making Christians bend to their every desire?
According to one survey there are only 1.2 million gays in America. The LGBT bloats that to around 12.7 million. But check out this number....there are 311,883,291 people in America. Of that amount there are 60.3 milllion married couples or 120.6 million individuals that believe in marriage. Yet...we have the GLBT dogma shoved down our throats every day. Why? How can a small percentage of America demand that I hear their message on a regular basis but I am gagged, tied up and thrown in a corner if I dare mention Christianity?
According to The Barna group there may be a bloated 12% of non believers in America. But the 2008 Gallup poll declares only 6% are actual atheist and the Aris Poll states that less than 2% are atheist. But....get this folks.....82% of Americans believe in God and call themselves Christians? Why in the world are we allowing atheists to demand that we keep our holidays and our testimonies in hiding?
Churches....something is terribly wrong with your new approach to society. All I hear is that churches are redefining themselves to reach the youth of this nation. Yet, the statistics show that the 83% of people that called themselves Christians five years ago...that number has now dropped to 76%. Why? All those young people the church is redesigning for....those are the ones that feel church doesn't adequately reflect God. (Read Where have all the churches gone? ) Maybe they aren't fooled by all the "redefining" and miss the steady, faithful God of the Bible.
Let me see if I can bring all my thoughts together for you.
1. Crazy people who obviously don't know scriptures and haven't had an encounter with God often use our faith as a way to abuse others - those people are being allowed to have a pulpit.
2. Non-Christians are demanding - LOUDLY- that Christian talk and Christian living be discounted and put down. We are nuts and should be discredited and even jailed for our beliefs.
3. Even with all our pandering and all inclusive preaching - even with our redefining of the Bible and the theology that has stood for over 2,000 years - we are still losing followers at an alarming rate. People who are truly searching for the living God can't find him in organized churches.
What's wrong?
Answer: Pay attention this is will be hard to understand. It's difficult to explain but I'll try to say it slowly and use very simple language.....
"God doesn't need our help! He can reach people without our feable attempts to market Him. Jesus and his theology is simple. Add to it and you lose everything. Take away from it and you lose everything. Stick to the simplicity of Jesus and the truth of God's word and you will shine brighter than a diamond!"
That's it folks. When churches make "numbers" more important than Truth of theology - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When churches redefine the Truth of God's word in order to keep the peace or make it palatable for non-believers - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When churches hurt any age group or show preference to any demographics - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When churches deny the cross or the seriousness of our faith - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When God leaves the building and no longer inhabits your church of choice, you are no different than any other social club in your community. Memberships in social clubs bounce with the whims of a person's life. No one commits an entire life to a social club. No one is willing to die for a social club.
If Christianity is to survive in this country then each one of us must dedicate our lives to seeking the truth of God. We must be willing to approach our pastor or board and "demand" that truth is preached. Once we find a church that is willing to stick to the principles in the Bible and understand them based on the character of God....then we must devote our lives to sharing the good news of our Bible and our church with others.
Why aren't people interested in going to church? The church and it's members have not been able to prove that Christianity makes your life better. Church members have done a lousy job of showing the world that Christianity works. Contemporary believers have become just like our liberal friends. We get divorced at alarming rates, our children find drugs, we have affairs, we cheat, we lie...."you are neither hot nor cold...I will spew you out of my mouth."
My life has been wonderful because I've lived it according to the Bible and God's principle. I've taught that wonderful news to my children and others within our family.
Can you say that? If not....why not?
God loves you,
Debbie
I hesitated and thought about not reading the article. So many people are giving Christianity a bad name because they don't know the truth. By their ignorance or because they have psychological issues, they are actually working "against" the truth of the gospel and are more on the side of Satan than on God's side. It just breaks my heart to read these accounts.
But...because I'm also dealing with the need to teach you about "false prophets" and how you can know for sure who they are....I felt I had to read the article.
I cried.
I cried for the abuse and the future of those children. I cried for the way they will always view God and I cried for how long it will take for them to obtain a normal self esteem.
Here's a bit of the article......
Pastor Philip Caminiti, 53, and his brother, John Caminiti, 45, were charged with a dozen counts of child abuse last week and also pleaded innocent. The victims included 12 children ranging in age from infancy to 6 years old, according to the sheriff's office.
"During interviews with detectives, Phil expressed his belief that the Bible dictates the use of a rod over a hand to punish children. He stated that children only a few months old are 'worthy' of the rod and that by 'one and a half months,' a child is old enough to be spanked," according to the sheriff's office release.
"Throughout the investigation, the church members were open with detectives about their 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' philosophy. They described using wooden dowels and wooden spoons on the bare skin of children, starting as young as 2 months old," the sheriff's office said.
......Agh!!!!
Can you believe this garbage? Can you see Jesus taking a wooden spoon to a baby that barely knows the scent of his mother or father muchless the difference between right and wrong?
I cried for the harsh way innocent babies are being abuse. Until children can use language to express some sort of knowledge of wrong doing - they live in a very simple world. They don't mean to cry when you are busy - they simply don't know any other way to tell you they are hungry or wet or tired or bored. To spank a one month old is not only barbaric it says that the adult is one of the most cruel selfish beings on the planet. What kind of deranged mind would insist that an innocent baby obey? It seems this lunatic who calls himself a preacher doesn't really care for his members but instead is only interested in control and absolute quiet while he's speaking. He is not caring for them or loving them as Christ would. My only thought for him as a person is to wonder how he is going to feel when God gives him the same mercy he has shown the children in his flock.
While I have taught that we need to help a baby know what to do in certain situations (by the tone of our voice only) even that form of communication shouldn't be considered until the child is sitting up and totally tuned in to your facial expressions and your voice. Those first few months of sweetness and innocence should be used to build a bond between you and your infant. That's when you cuddle and share your love through physical touch. That's not a time to introduce pain and suffering. (Actually pain and suffering should never be used anytime during any relationship.)
According to this article the children often were punished when they cried or failed to sit still during church services, a former church member told authorities. "Phil was very strict about children being quiet during church," the complaint states.
Sounds to me like a bully who doesn't want to be interrupted. This type of behavior from a so-called preacher and the behavior of a congregation that allows him to get away with this nonsense is exactly why Liberals view Christianity in a negative way.
Want to know why we are losing the spiritual battle in this country? It's because Christians who are living a truly Christ centered life are not speaking up and people who are as controlling as the Taliban and other wacko groups are moving to the front and taking over.
It boggles my mind that 1/10 of our society is now taking the stage and demanding that 90% of society do what they want. Between Muslims, gays, liberals, atheists and politicians - we are being attacked on all sides. But even if you add all those people together, they only represent a small percentage of our country. So tell me.....Why are they taking over and making Christians bend to their every desire?
According to one survey there are only 1.2 million gays in America. The LGBT bloats that to around 12.7 million. But check out this number....there are 311,883,291 people in America. Of that amount there are 60.3 milllion married couples or 120.6 million individuals that believe in marriage. Yet...we have the GLBT dogma shoved down our throats every day. Why? How can a small percentage of America demand that I hear their message on a regular basis but I am gagged, tied up and thrown in a corner if I dare mention Christianity?
According to The Barna group there may be a bloated 12% of non believers in America. But the 2008 Gallup poll declares only 6% are actual atheist and the Aris Poll states that less than 2% are atheist. But....get this folks.....82% of Americans believe in God and call themselves Christians? Why in the world are we allowing atheists to demand that we keep our holidays and our testimonies in hiding?
Churches....something is terribly wrong with your new approach to society. All I hear is that churches are redefining themselves to reach the youth of this nation. Yet, the statistics show that the 83% of people that called themselves Christians five years ago...that number has now dropped to 76%. Why? All those young people the church is redesigning for....those are the ones that feel church doesn't adequately reflect God. (Read Where have all the churches gone? ) Maybe they aren't fooled by all the "redefining" and miss the steady, faithful God of the Bible.
Let me see if I can bring all my thoughts together for you.
1. Crazy people who obviously don't know scriptures and haven't had an encounter with God often use our faith as a way to abuse others - those people are being allowed to have a pulpit.
2. Non-Christians are demanding - LOUDLY- that Christian talk and Christian living be discounted and put down. We are nuts and should be discredited and even jailed for our beliefs.
3. Even with all our pandering and all inclusive preaching - even with our redefining of the Bible and the theology that has stood for over 2,000 years - we are still losing followers at an alarming rate. People who are truly searching for the living God can't find him in organized churches.
What's wrong?
Answer: Pay attention this is will be hard to understand. It's difficult to explain but I'll try to say it slowly and use very simple language.....
"God doesn't need our help! He can reach people without our feable attempts to market Him. Jesus and his theology is simple. Add to it and you lose everything. Take away from it and you lose everything. Stick to the simplicity of Jesus and the truth of God's word and you will shine brighter than a diamond!"
That's it folks. When churches make "numbers" more important than Truth of theology - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When churches redefine the Truth of God's word in order to keep the peace or make it palatable for non-believers - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When churches hurt any age group or show preference to any demographics - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When churches deny the cross or the seriousness of our faith - God will leave the building and you will fail.
When God leaves the building and no longer inhabits your church of choice, you are no different than any other social club in your community. Memberships in social clubs bounce with the whims of a person's life. No one commits an entire life to a social club. No one is willing to die for a social club.
If Christianity is to survive in this country then each one of us must dedicate our lives to seeking the truth of God. We must be willing to approach our pastor or board and "demand" that truth is preached. Once we find a church that is willing to stick to the principles in the Bible and understand them based on the character of God....then we must devote our lives to sharing the good news of our Bible and our church with others.
Why aren't people interested in going to church? The church and it's members have not been able to prove that Christianity makes your life better. Church members have done a lousy job of showing the world that Christianity works. Contemporary believers have become just like our liberal friends. We get divorced at alarming rates, our children find drugs, we have affairs, we cheat, we lie...."you are neither hot nor cold...I will spew you out of my mouth."
My life has been wonderful because I've lived it according to the Bible and God's principle. I've taught that wonderful news to my children and others within our family.
Can you say that? If not....why not?
God loves you,
Debbie
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thank God for Children!
Judas Asparagus
This is so cute and should bring tears of laughter to your eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching?
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. Here is what was written:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David.. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn?" It would be nice to say, "As a matter of fact, I was."
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.
Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Thank you God for laughter!
God loves you,
Debbie
Monday, March 28, 2011
American Christians in Danger - Franklin Graham
I read this article and my heart broke. As I study the New Testament I understand the fear the disciples must have encountered when they saw the Roman Guards enter the Garden of Gethsemane and take Jesus away. They knew that they could be next. Peter was one of the strongest disciples Jesus had. Peter made great statements to Jesus. He emphatically proclaimed his love for Jesus and the fact that he would never leave his side. Within hours he denied Jesus three times. He was so frightened that he even cursed and swore that he didn't know Jesus.
If fear can turn a man like Peter and make him run away, how can nominal Christians who go to church because it's fun and are fed the weakest kind of feel good theology - how will they be able to resist fear and stand strong for God? How will the name it and claim it spoiled bunch be able to stand strong when they are faced with the most horrendous forms of violence and torture?
In John 15: 20-23 Jesus says...."Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates me hates my Father as well."
In other words some people react to the message of Christ with humility and a desire for forgiveness. Others will arrogantly deny God and will be so adamant about their beliefs that they will treat you the same as Christ was treated just because you believe in him. And some will not only hate you, they will kill you.
In John 16:1-3 Jesus goes on to say, "All this I have told you so that you will not go astray. They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me."
Wow! Can you relate this to today's situation in America and around the globe? Christians are being persecuted, called horrible names, blamed for the world's problems and virtually demeaned as being stupid or deranged just because we believe in God. Add to that the fact that our churches are not producing strong theologically sound Christians and instead are playing to marketing themes just to fill pews. There is a great void of truth that's building like a swirling hurricane. Within this void of truth is a group of harsh killers waiting to take over and destroy the name of Jesus and all who believe in Him.
Be very careful that you are on the side of truth. Your soul and your place in eternity will depend on you knowing the truth. This is not a game. Franklin Graham was recently interviewed. Please listen carefully to what he has to say about the coming violence that's gearing up to take over this country.
You can find this article at Franklin Graham: World's Christians in Grave Danger
By Chris Gonsalves and Kathleen Walter
The Muslim Brotherhood, with the complicity of the Obama administration, has infiltrated the U.S. government at the highest levels and is influencing American policy that leaves the world’s Christians in grave danger, warns internationally known evangelist Franklin Graham
“The Muslim Brotherhood is very strong and active here in our country,” Graham tells Newsmax. “We have these people advising our military and State Department. We’ve brought in Muslims to tell us how to make policy toward Muslim countries.
“It’s like a farmer asking a fox, ‘How do I protect my hen house?’"
That same Muslim Brotherhood is fomenting much of the rebellion and the deteriorating social order roiling the Middle East, forcing millions of Christians to flee for their lives, says Graham, son of beloved evangelist Dr. Billy Graham, and founder of The Samaritan’s Purse international charity.
“Under [Egypt’s Hosni] Mubarek and [Jordan’s] King Hussein and other moderate leaders, Christians had been protected,” Graham says. 11 million Christians live in Egypt and I ear for them, because if the Muslim Brotherhood comes to power, you’re going to see a great exodus of Christians. Same thing in Tunisia and Lebanon. I fear for the church because the Muslim Brotherhood is going to be a very terrible thing.”
A new report from the Roman Catholic aid agency 'Aid to the Church in Need' supports Graham’s contention that the persecution of Christians worldwide has worsened exponentially in the past few years.
According to the report, Christians face increased suffering in 22 countries around the world, with Iraq, Egypt, Lebanon, Pakistan, and Nigeria being among the worst countries to be a Christian in today.
The persecution has gotten markedly worse over the past two years according to the organization.
“The proportion of countries with a worsening track-record of anti-Christian violence and intimidation would be higher were it not for the fact that in many cases the situation could scarcely have been worse in the first place” the report’s authors wrote.
More than 75 percent of religious persecution in the world is currently being carried out against Christians, the report concludes.
The Vatican formed a special committee late last year to address the flight of Christians and the rise of militant Islam in the Middle East. In his New Year’s message, Pope Benedict XVI said Christians suffer more than any other religious group because of their faith
Asked if President Barack Obama was doing enough to protect Christians at home and abroad, Graham says, “No. If anything it’s the opposite.”
“Muslims are protected more in this country than Christians,” he says. “The president has made many statements but he doesn’t back them up. We have to do more to protect the Christians in the Muslim world. Their lives are in danger.”
In recent weeks, Obama administration officials have stepped up the defense of their inclusive stance toward Muslims in their ranks. Deputy national security advisor, Denis McDonough, said last week that President Obama is actually trying to prevent terrorism by "dispelling the myths that have developed over the years, including misperceptions about our fellow Americans who are Muslim."
"When it comes to preventing violent extremism and terrorism in the United States, Muslim Americans are not part of the problem, you're part of the solution," McDonough said at an interfaith forum in Sterling, Va.
Graham, however says what Obama is really doing is "giving Islam a pass" rather than speaking openly about the "horrific" treatment women and minorities receive.
"We certainly love the Muslim people," Graham said in an earlier interview with Newsmax. "But that is not the faith of this country. And that is not the religion that built this nation. The people of the Christian faith and the Jewish faith are the ones who built America, and it is not Islam."
Thank you Rev. Graham.
I hope all of you will click on the link to the right of this blog and check out how many people have been killed because of the Muslim belief. While you are at it....check out this peaceful religion that believes in honor killings, cutting off hands for theft and marrying 8 year old little girls. Don't hate and don't base your beliefs on here say. Get the truth. Research and know what they believe. We need to know what this religion is really about before we allow them to take over our court system and demand elite protection under our laws.
God have mercy on us.
God loves you,
Debbie
If fear can turn a man like Peter and make him run away, how can nominal Christians who go to church because it's fun and are fed the weakest kind of feel good theology - how will they be able to resist fear and stand strong for God? How will the name it and claim it spoiled bunch be able to stand strong when they are faced with the most horrendous forms of violence and torture?
In John 15: 20-23 Jesus says...."Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates me hates my Father as well."
In other words some people react to the message of Christ with humility and a desire for forgiveness. Others will arrogantly deny God and will be so adamant about their beliefs that they will treat you the same as Christ was treated just because you believe in him. And some will not only hate you, they will kill you.
In John 16:1-3 Jesus goes on to say, "All this I have told you so that you will not go astray. They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me."
Wow! Can you relate this to today's situation in America and around the globe? Christians are being persecuted, called horrible names, blamed for the world's problems and virtually demeaned as being stupid or deranged just because we believe in God. Add to that the fact that our churches are not producing strong theologically sound Christians and instead are playing to marketing themes just to fill pews. There is a great void of truth that's building like a swirling hurricane. Within this void of truth is a group of harsh killers waiting to take over and destroy the name of Jesus and all who believe in Him.
Be very careful that you are on the side of truth. Your soul and your place in eternity will depend on you knowing the truth. This is not a game. Franklin Graham was recently interviewed. Please listen carefully to what he has to say about the coming violence that's gearing up to take over this country.
You can find this article at Franklin Graham: World's Christians in Grave Danger
By Chris Gonsalves and Kathleen Walter
The Muslim Brotherhood, with the complicity of the Obama administration, has infiltrated the U.S. government at the highest levels and is influencing American policy that leaves the world’s Christians in grave danger, warns internationally known evangelist Franklin Graham
“The Muslim Brotherhood is very strong and active here in our country,” Graham tells Newsmax. “We have these people advising our military and State Department. We’ve brought in Muslims to tell us how to make policy toward Muslim countries.
“It’s like a farmer asking a fox, ‘How do I protect my hen house?’"
That same Muslim Brotherhood is fomenting much of the rebellion and the deteriorating social order roiling the Middle East, forcing millions of Christians to flee for their lives, says Graham, son of beloved evangelist Dr. Billy Graham, and founder of The Samaritan’s Purse international charity.
“Under [Egypt’s Hosni] Mubarek and [Jordan’s] King Hussein and other moderate leaders, Christians had been protected,” Graham says. 11 million Christians live in Egypt and I ear for them, because if the Muslim Brotherhood comes to power, you’re going to see a great exodus of Christians. Same thing in Tunisia and Lebanon. I fear for the church because the Muslim Brotherhood is going to be a very terrible thing.”
A new report from the Roman Catholic aid agency 'Aid to the Church in Need' supports Graham’s contention that the persecution of Christians worldwide has worsened exponentially in the past few years.
According to the report, Christians face increased suffering in 22 countries around the world, with Iraq, Egypt, Lebanon, Pakistan, and Nigeria being among the worst countries to be a Christian in today.
The persecution has gotten markedly worse over the past two years according to the organization.
“The proportion of countries with a worsening track-record of anti-Christian violence and intimidation would be higher were it not for the fact that in many cases the situation could scarcely have been worse in the first place” the report’s authors wrote.
More than 75 percent of religious persecution in the world is currently being carried out against Christians, the report concludes.
The Vatican formed a special committee late last year to address the flight of Christians and the rise of militant Islam in the Middle East. In his New Year’s message, Pope Benedict XVI said Christians suffer more than any other religious group because of their faith
Asked if President Barack Obama was doing enough to protect Christians at home and abroad, Graham says, “No. If anything it’s the opposite.”
“Muslims are protected more in this country than Christians,” he says. “The president has made many statements but he doesn’t back them up. We have to do more to protect the Christians in the Muslim world. Their lives are in danger.”
In recent weeks, Obama administration officials have stepped up the defense of their inclusive stance toward Muslims in their ranks. Deputy national security advisor, Denis McDonough, said last week that President Obama is actually trying to prevent terrorism by "dispelling the myths that have developed over the years, including misperceptions about our fellow Americans who are Muslim."
"When it comes to preventing violent extremism and terrorism in the United States, Muslim Americans are not part of the problem, you're part of the solution," McDonough said at an interfaith forum in Sterling, Va.
Graham, however says what Obama is really doing is "giving Islam a pass" rather than speaking openly about the "horrific" treatment women and minorities receive.
"We certainly love the Muslim people," Graham said in an earlier interview with Newsmax. "But that is not the faith of this country. And that is not the religion that built this nation. The people of the Christian faith and the Jewish faith are the ones who built America, and it is not Islam."
Thank you Rev. Graham.
I hope all of you will click on the link to the right of this blog and check out how many people have been killed because of the Muslim belief. While you are at it....check out this peaceful religion that believes in honor killings, cutting off hands for theft and marrying 8 year old little girls. Don't hate and don't base your beliefs on here say. Get the truth. Research and know what they believe. We need to know what this religion is really about before we allow them to take over our court system and demand elite protection under our laws.
God have mercy on us.
God loves you,
Debbie
Friday, March 25, 2011
Stealth Abuse - Abuse that's revealed during Economic hard times
Originally I wrote this for a magazine, but decided to print it on my blog instead. I hope you will share this post with anyone that's feeling the pain of economic downturn. We must be careful not to hurt the ones we love just because we don't know how to handle financial misfortune.
Paul fidgeted, rubbed his temples and took a loud deep breath. His wife Sarah shook her head at his lack of concentration. Pastor Reinhoff concluded his sermon unaware that Paul was not impressed. After the last amen, Paul bolted for the door and fled to the safety of his car.
He tapped his finger on the steering wheel. “I can’t believe they are taking so long. Who are they talking to? I bet she’s talking about me. Just wait. I’ll make sure this never happens again.”
Sarah called to her excited children. Tears stung the corner of her eyes as she waved to friends. It would not be a pleasant Sunday afternoon.
According to the American Bar Association, approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States. 90% of pastors I surveyed in 2010 admitted calls for help with aggressive behaviors were higher than normal. 100% of counselors said inquiries are up but sessions are down. Presumably callers can’t afford the fee.
Marta Pelaez is president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services in San Antonio, Texas. A clinical psychologist, Marta oversees a shelter for battered women and children where the demand for admission has tripled in recent months. Marta explained that as of April of last year they saw numbers increase. “Last year, at this same time, I had 68 – 70 on my daily census. I called this morning and we had 184.”
While abuse statistics are staggering, they are also misleading. Abuse victims who feel hopeless, helpless and embarrassed often refuse to report their abuse.
Paul’s grip on the steering wheel turned his knuckles white. “You have no idea how this makes me feel. I’m not a bum. I’ve worked hard all my life. It’s embarrassing to watch people look at me with pity. I know what they are thinking.”
Sarah blew her nose and wiped her face. “Our friends love you. They wouldn’t…” Paul yelled. “Shut up. Just shut up. I can’t stand this anymore.” He beat the steering wheel causing the car to swerve. Sarah reached to the back seat to comfort the children who were crying.
Economic hard times and loss of income can reveal abuse in good people who ordinarily are kind and supportive. Various reasons for this sudden outburst of anger can include illness, addiction, affairs, lack of spiritual knowledge or a desire to abandon all responsibilities.
The most challenging reason for abuse hides like a stealth bomber until the economy takes a dive. Families that have built their goals exclusively on financial success will suffer the most when the economy dips. Surrounded by possessions they don’t see the stealth approach until depression and disappointment is securely in place. By placing more importance on acquiring “things” rather than building strong relationships, these families can face a deeper depression during hard economic times. Depression and embarrassment over the loss of possessions coupled with the fear of failure can cause a person to slip into abuse.
According to Biblical principles, marriage is not about acquiring possessions. It’s not a business with a bottom line. When a marriage is defined by financial goals success can be derailed by a failing economy.
Christians are encouraged to trust God during all forms of distress. “Nothing is impossible with God” unless….we believe that God’s will is complete financial success and prosperity. That belief can seep into our families and destroy our ability to stick together and survive. God is just as powerful in hard times as He is when times are good.
How can a successful family who has fulfilled every desire survive the loss of Dad’s job? How can you remain healthy when your lifestyle is tied to your self-esteem? Good Christians who enjoyed being the benefactor for the church may feel guilty when they need the services they once sponsored. Abuse is never the answer. Strong Family relationships will always help us survive tough times.
Paul slammed the door to the car and stomped inside. He slumped in a chair in front of the TV. Sarah kept the children away and hurried to fix Paul’s favorite lunch. She sat it down in front of him and smiled. He glared at her and exploded with anger. Sarah was afraid. The children ran to the doorway and began to cry. Paul threw the dishes toward the TV, stood and hit Sarah. As she dropped to the floor Paul saw his true reflection in the eyes of his startled children.
During a down economy, physical abuse can escalate. Mental and emotional abuse can also devastate families. It leaves no visible scars but can last far longer than a black eye or a bruise. The top four reasons for economic stealth abuse are disappointment, overload, blame and loss of self-esteem.
1. If your marriage was built on financial goals, economic loss can lead to severe disappointment which can escalate to desperation. When you can't provide the desperately needed braces or the new birthday bicycle, severe disappointment attacks your self-esteem and self-worth.
2. When powerful emotions collide, even gentle personalities can respond to loved ones in anger. Fatigue, worry, lack of sleep, feeling like a failure, feeling as if you’ve let your family and church down, feeling as if your dreams are crashing around you, overwhelming fear, loss of hope, feelings of paranoia or even jealousy that a co-worker is doing well can combine into a weight that may cause you to explode with anger.
3. If your family chooses to point fingers rather than show love and support, the bread winner may feel like a caged tiger. A caged tiger feels as if he’s lost all options and lashes out at anyone near the cage. The family can make it worse by appearing to bang on the cage bars by asking for "stuff" or demanding "participation" especially when the breadwinner is overworked and tired. This action will most certainly be met with angry growls and mental attacks.
4. When multiple emotions swirl together, the provider can view the family as all or part of the problem. The simple act of bringing a treat to his four year old can become stressful if dad is behind on the house payment. The lack of a quarter needed to share with his child represents failure. If Junior continues to want the experience, dad’s disappointment can turn into anger against the child. The resulting outburst can hurt the child and the relationship.
Christian families can build strong relationships and find creative solutions for stressful times. Families must pull together in times of crisis. It will define who you are. Engage your children to find fun ways to survive. Make it a game to save on utilities, food and clothes. Concentrate on love and your non-financial goals as a family. When love and respect binds the family, you’ll be amazed at how little you need to survive.
To combat depression, individuals – especially the provider - should concentrate on the overall success of the family rather than individual desires. The “all for one and one for all” mentality can take the focus away from individual actions. This will give the provider time to adjust his/her feelings of inadequacy. Teens can be engaged to look at the family budget, share suggestions and help with work. Elementary age children can participate in chores or saving money games like turning off lights. When the family begins to function as a “unit” committed to the survival of all, getting through the crisis can take on a game mentality that will provide individual relief from blame. A great example of this is the black and white movie “I remember Mama”. The family pulled together and survived difficult times. They also bonded while caring for struggling individuals.
You can diffuse stealth abuse by emphasizing family relationships while rejecting unnecessary possessions. Contentment with basic needs can help you release emotions of bitterness, disappointment and fear. Philippians 4:12 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
Knowing that your family can survive any adversity will empower everyone. Relationships first should be your new goal. How can you do that when you are suffering? Here are 6 ways to experience the healing power of strong relationships.
1. Play the hand game. Every time you feel disappointment or sadness, hold both hands out in front of you. In one hand imagine the life or soul of your spouse. In the other hand imagine a check for $10,000. Which would you chose? You can only choose one.
When your child is nagging for a toy, imagine a check in one hand and a cancer free body in the other hand. What would you do? Would you choose her life or the ability to give her “stuff”? This exercise can help you define real needs and discard unnecessary desires.
2. Make saving a game. Fussing about costs will keep everyone on edge allowing anger to soar. Instead create a game board that promotes saving money by turning out the lights or cooking at home. The weekly winner gets breakfast in bed and the ability to choose Sunday’s menu.
3. Find new ways to enjoy each other. Insist on “Personal” moments during your busy day. For example, declare a coffee time with your spouse before bed. Make something special to go with coffee even if it’s a saltine cracker with a little jam. Designate 30 seconds a day – per person – to give them a compliment and enjoy who they are. You’ll be making memories that will last a lifetime.
4. Celebrate family talents. Encourage Dad to finish his woodworking project. Display new handmade decorations. Enjoy being musical, artistic or creative in the kitchen. It’s amazing how a new coat of paint, fresh cookies or a mended outfit will give everyone a “can do” attitude.
5. Always point to a brighter future. Hope can overcome feelings of depression or disappointment. Rather than concentrating on solutions five years away, look for hope in smaller doses. Find little moments during your week that materialize quickly. Celebrate those moments and chart your success no matter how small. If you have two dollars more this week than you had last week – you are making progress.
6. Pray together as a family. The old saying, “The family that prays together – stays together” is still true today. Instead of allowing hard times to break your family and cause abuse, ask God to help you become closer to those you love.
Paul sat on the floor with Sarah in his arms. Tears fell down his cheeks and puddled on her shirt. “I’m so sorry. I am so ashamed of what I’ve done.” Sarah tried to smile. Paul touched her swollen lip and cried harder. “How can you ever forgive me?” His broken spirit led him to counseling and a new philosophy. He was determined that money would never be more important than his family.
The great depression was devastating to this country. Millions of jobs, homes, farms and businesses were lost. Yet for every depressing story there are those that remember the depression with a sparkle in their eye. Why? Because it taught them to love their family, that God is faithful and that strong relationships can weather any storm. You too will be able to look back on this time with a smile if you placed your hope in God while building strong family relationships.
For permission to reprint this blog post….please contact Debbie@debbiejansen.com
God loves you,
Debbie
Stealth abuse
Paul fidgeted, rubbed his temples and took a loud deep breath. His wife Sarah shook her head at his lack of concentration. Pastor Reinhoff concluded his sermon unaware that Paul was not impressed. After the last amen, Paul bolted for the door and fled to the safety of his car.
He tapped his finger on the steering wheel. “I can’t believe they are taking so long. Who are they talking to? I bet she’s talking about me. Just wait. I’ll make sure this never happens again.”
Sarah called to her excited children. Tears stung the corner of her eyes as she waved to friends. It would not be a pleasant Sunday afternoon.
According to the American Bar Association, approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States. 90% of pastors I surveyed in 2010 admitted calls for help with aggressive behaviors were higher than normal. 100% of counselors said inquiries are up but sessions are down. Presumably callers can’t afford the fee.
Marta Pelaez is president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services in San Antonio, Texas. A clinical psychologist, Marta oversees a shelter for battered women and children where the demand for admission has tripled in recent months. Marta explained that as of April of last year they saw numbers increase. “Last year, at this same time, I had 68 – 70 on my daily census. I called this morning and we had 184.”
While abuse statistics are staggering, they are also misleading. Abuse victims who feel hopeless, helpless and embarrassed often refuse to report their abuse.
Paul’s grip on the steering wheel turned his knuckles white. “You have no idea how this makes me feel. I’m not a bum. I’ve worked hard all my life. It’s embarrassing to watch people look at me with pity. I know what they are thinking.”
Sarah blew her nose and wiped her face. “Our friends love you. They wouldn’t…” Paul yelled. “Shut up. Just shut up. I can’t stand this anymore.” He beat the steering wheel causing the car to swerve. Sarah reached to the back seat to comfort the children who were crying.
Economic hard times and loss of income can reveal abuse in good people who ordinarily are kind and supportive. Various reasons for this sudden outburst of anger can include illness, addiction, affairs, lack of spiritual knowledge or a desire to abandon all responsibilities.
The most challenging reason for abuse hides like a stealth bomber until the economy takes a dive. Families that have built their goals exclusively on financial success will suffer the most when the economy dips. Surrounded by possessions they don’t see the stealth approach until depression and disappointment is securely in place. By placing more importance on acquiring “things” rather than building strong relationships, these families can face a deeper depression during hard economic times. Depression and embarrassment over the loss of possessions coupled with the fear of failure can cause a person to slip into abuse.
According to Biblical principles, marriage is not about acquiring possessions. It’s not a business with a bottom line. When a marriage is defined by financial goals success can be derailed by a failing economy.
Christians are encouraged to trust God during all forms of distress. “Nothing is impossible with God” unless….we believe that God’s will is complete financial success and prosperity. That belief can seep into our families and destroy our ability to stick together and survive. God is just as powerful in hard times as He is when times are good.
How can a successful family who has fulfilled every desire survive the loss of Dad’s job? How can you remain healthy when your lifestyle is tied to your self-esteem? Good Christians who enjoyed being the benefactor for the church may feel guilty when they need the services they once sponsored. Abuse is never the answer. Strong Family relationships will always help us survive tough times.
Paul slammed the door to the car and stomped inside. He slumped in a chair in front of the TV. Sarah kept the children away and hurried to fix Paul’s favorite lunch. She sat it down in front of him and smiled. He glared at her and exploded with anger. Sarah was afraid. The children ran to the doorway and began to cry. Paul threw the dishes toward the TV, stood and hit Sarah. As she dropped to the floor Paul saw his true reflection in the eyes of his startled children.
During a down economy, physical abuse can escalate. Mental and emotional abuse can also devastate families. It leaves no visible scars but can last far longer than a black eye or a bruise. The top four reasons for economic stealth abuse are disappointment, overload, blame and loss of self-esteem.
1. If your marriage was built on financial goals, economic loss can lead to severe disappointment which can escalate to desperation. When you can't provide the desperately needed braces or the new birthday bicycle, severe disappointment attacks your self-esteem and self-worth.
2. When powerful emotions collide, even gentle personalities can respond to loved ones in anger. Fatigue, worry, lack of sleep, feeling like a failure, feeling as if you’ve let your family and church down, feeling as if your dreams are crashing around you, overwhelming fear, loss of hope, feelings of paranoia or even jealousy that a co-worker is doing well can combine into a weight that may cause you to explode with anger.
3. If your family chooses to point fingers rather than show love and support, the bread winner may feel like a caged tiger. A caged tiger feels as if he’s lost all options and lashes out at anyone near the cage. The family can make it worse by appearing to bang on the cage bars by asking for "stuff" or demanding "participation" especially when the breadwinner is overworked and tired. This action will most certainly be met with angry growls and mental attacks.
4. When multiple emotions swirl together, the provider can view the family as all or part of the problem. The simple act of bringing a treat to his four year old can become stressful if dad is behind on the house payment. The lack of a quarter needed to share with his child represents failure. If Junior continues to want the experience, dad’s disappointment can turn into anger against the child. The resulting outburst can hurt the child and the relationship.
Christian families can build strong relationships and find creative solutions for stressful times. Families must pull together in times of crisis. It will define who you are. Engage your children to find fun ways to survive. Make it a game to save on utilities, food and clothes. Concentrate on love and your non-financial goals as a family. When love and respect binds the family, you’ll be amazed at how little you need to survive.
To combat depression, individuals – especially the provider - should concentrate on the overall success of the family rather than individual desires. The “all for one and one for all” mentality can take the focus away from individual actions. This will give the provider time to adjust his/her feelings of inadequacy. Teens can be engaged to look at the family budget, share suggestions and help with work. Elementary age children can participate in chores or saving money games like turning off lights. When the family begins to function as a “unit” committed to the survival of all, getting through the crisis can take on a game mentality that will provide individual relief from blame. A great example of this is the black and white movie “I remember Mama”. The family pulled together and survived difficult times. They also bonded while caring for struggling individuals.
You can diffuse stealth abuse by emphasizing family relationships while rejecting unnecessary possessions. Contentment with basic needs can help you release emotions of bitterness, disappointment and fear. Philippians 4:12 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
Knowing that your family can survive any adversity will empower everyone. Relationships first should be your new goal. How can you do that when you are suffering? Here are 6 ways to experience the healing power of strong relationships.
1. Play the hand game. Every time you feel disappointment or sadness, hold both hands out in front of you. In one hand imagine the life or soul of your spouse. In the other hand imagine a check for $10,000. Which would you chose? You can only choose one.
When your child is nagging for a toy, imagine a check in one hand and a cancer free body in the other hand. What would you do? Would you choose her life or the ability to give her “stuff”? This exercise can help you define real needs and discard unnecessary desires.
2. Make saving a game. Fussing about costs will keep everyone on edge allowing anger to soar. Instead create a game board that promotes saving money by turning out the lights or cooking at home. The weekly winner gets breakfast in bed and the ability to choose Sunday’s menu.
3. Find new ways to enjoy each other. Insist on “Personal” moments during your busy day. For example, declare a coffee time with your spouse before bed. Make something special to go with coffee even if it’s a saltine cracker with a little jam. Designate 30 seconds a day – per person – to give them a compliment and enjoy who they are. You’ll be making memories that will last a lifetime.
4. Celebrate family talents. Encourage Dad to finish his woodworking project. Display new handmade decorations. Enjoy being musical, artistic or creative in the kitchen. It’s amazing how a new coat of paint, fresh cookies or a mended outfit will give everyone a “can do” attitude.
5. Always point to a brighter future. Hope can overcome feelings of depression or disappointment. Rather than concentrating on solutions five years away, look for hope in smaller doses. Find little moments during your week that materialize quickly. Celebrate those moments and chart your success no matter how small. If you have two dollars more this week than you had last week – you are making progress.
6. Pray together as a family. The old saying, “The family that prays together – stays together” is still true today. Instead of allowing hard times to break your family and cause abuse, ask God to help you become closer to those you love.
Paul sat on the floor with Sarah in his arms. Tears fell down his cheeks and puddled on her shirt. “I’m so sorry. I am so ashamed of what I’ve done.” Sarah tried to smile. Paul touched her swollen lip and cried harder. “How can you ever forgive me?” His broken spirit led him to counseling and a new philosophy. He was determined that money would never be more important than his family.
The great depression was devastating to this country. Millions of jobs, homes, farms and businesses were lost. Yet for every depressing story there are those that remember the depression with a sparkle in their eye. Why? Because it taught them to love their family, that God is faithful and that strong relationships can weather any storm. You too will be able to look back on this time with a smile if you placed your hope in God while building strong family relationships.
For permission to reprint this blog post….please contact Debbie@debbiejansen.com
God loves you,
Debbie
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