Do you have situations in your life that hang like a storm cloud in the back of your mind?
Do you stare at the television and wish that some TV personalities were right and that giving to them would make all your worries disappear?
Do you wonder if you are getting pushed to the back of the line when God chooses which prayers will be answered?
It's not that you don't believe.
It's not that you don't have devotions or read your Bible.
It's not that you are breaking God's commandments.
Life is just hard and so much of the time you look to heaven and wonder, "What am I doing wrong? Is there something I've missed? What should I be doing to correct this issue?"
You aren't a bad person - you are just weary with the trials of life.
You are a positive person.
You believe that God CAN do anything.
You trust him with your life.
And yet.....there's that inner voice that cries out "What do you want from me? What do I do now?"
A young man named David has a wonderful answer for you. I think today I need the comfort his writing provides.
"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
Who then, is the man that fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.
The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.
See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you."
Psalm 25
Thank you King David for reminding me that if I keep my eyes on God he will not only instruct me on what to do he will also love and protect me.
I will pray for all of you and I hope you find comfort today.
God loves you,
Debbie
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Final lesson on Trust
The VIP of all relationships is TRUST.
I repeated that because it's so important. I've given you examples and tried to lay a framework for understanding trust. Every relationship, every relational issue will succeed or fail based on the level of trust.
I told you I would give you a list. Making that list has been a lot harder than I thought. Add to that some problems with my computer and it became even more difficult.
1. Children - They are born trusting you. They trust you to feed them and care for them. They trust you to be their protector and to provide for their needs. They trust you to teach them how to get along in this society. And they trust you to show them the way to a better life. Here's a few ways parents teach their children to mistrust them.
Don't yell at them or embarrass them in public. If you do, you become the enemy not the person they look to for guidance. By embarrassing them in public you have become a person who hurts not a person who protects.
Don't be a screamer at home for the same reasons. Also screaming teaches your child that you are out of control. How can you expect them to be "in control" if you are constantly "out of control."
Don't take away their childhood. Allow them to be their appropriate age. Always wanting them to act older than they are or to accept responsibility that's beyond their age will not only make them nervous - but will help them to mistrust you. If you push too hard, how can they trust you enough to understand their inner thoughts?
Don't betray their trust physically. It is your responsibility to protect that child. Think of yourself as a mother in the animal kingdom. You mess with any baby animal and that mother will fight you. My mom used to say that I reminded her of a lioness. Anyone messing with my cubs and I would pounce. I consider that a compliment. If you aren't that way and you allow others to hurt your child - your child won't trust you. And if you become the aggressor and hurt your child, it will be a long time before your child can trust you or anyone else.
2. Spouse - when you pledge your life to someone that requires trust on your part - but volumes of trust on their part. They have agreed to be linked to you for the rest of their lives. Whatever you do will affect them and sometimes will be worse for them than it is for you. When you allow mistrust to enter that sacred bond, you weaken your ability to love.
Be considerate. Treat your spouse "better" than you treat anyone else. Be willing to do little things for them and go out of your way to be kind.
Don't forget to say PLEASE AND THANK YOU. I think it's awful when spouses think it's okay to lose your manners at home. If your spouse takes the garbage out - YOU MUST SAY THANK YOU! When that wonderful spouse takes you out to dinner - don't forget to say THANK YOU! And men, if you have a wonderful wife who stays home and does all she can to provide good children and a beautiful home - it is your GOD GIVEN DUTY to say THANK YOU - OFTEN!
Don't take each other for granted.
My Dad, Dr. Ken Crocker has given many wonderful sermons on marriage. I will never forget one where he said "betrayal in a marriage is not limited to an affair. Anytime we betray our spouse in public by making fun of who they are or belittling what they do - we are guilty of infidelity.
Webster's defines infidelity: An unfaithful or disloyal act, unfaithfulness or disloyalty to another.
Wouldn't that cause mistrust? How can you trust someone who is selling your reputation up the river for the sake of a joke or a moment in the spotlight?
Be the greatest supporter of your spouse and they will not only trust you, they will give you undying love.
3. Your Church - how many times have you betrayed your church? Promised to stand by another member during a hard time, promised to pray - but you got busy and forgot. Promised to let others at work or in your neighborhood know about the church, but you were too embarrassed. How many times has someone asked you where you went to church and you acted like you were embarrassed to answer?
How many times have you disrespected God's house? Have you taught your children to be respectful?
A little soap box of mine. Why do we think we are opening up the heart of God more when we allow people to dress like bums when they attend church? We are saying to them, "Come hear about a man who gave his all for you. He died on a cross. He shed his blood. He loves you with everything he is and all he represents. And guess what? You can come and disrespect him all you want. You can wear tee shirts that proclaim ungodly things. You can wear your worst clothes, not shower, don't even brush your teeth or comb your hair. You can sit in church wrapped up in someone else or even sleep through the service. It's all okay, because even if he died for you - you can disrespect him all you want." We constantly preach that God is awesome and the greatest thing in heaven and on earth, but we allow them to disrespect him as if he were a bum sitting in the back of a public bus.
B A L O N E Y! I believe that if you truly love God he will love you back. But I also believe that if you truly love him you will WANT to give him all the respect he deserves. You will take a lesson from Cain and Able in Genesis and you will bring him your "BEST" fruits. You will clean up, dress up and act like somebody.
Phew!
Well, as you can see the list for taking TRUST into our everyday lives could go on forever. Just remember that real trust hides in the most unlikely places. Over the last few days I have notes for 137 ways we can expand TRUST and develop better relationships.
Here's my final tip. Ask yourself if your family or your friends were all sitting in a circle and talking about you - what would they say?
Would they say things like, "I could always count on her to be there."
"He never let me down. Every time I wanted to talk he was ready."
"If She made a promise, you could take it to the bank."
"He was the most trusted person I know."
"My life was better because I could TRUST her to be at her best."
"He supported me and never left my side. I TRUST him."
It really isn't hard you know. In any situation you face, ask yourself one question - if I were on the other side, what would I hope others would do? In other words, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
God loves you,
Debbie
I repeated that because it's so important. I've given you examples and tried to lay a framework for understanding trust. Every relationship, every relational issue will succeed or fail based on the level of trust.
I told you I would give you a list. Making that list has been a lot harder than I thought. Add to that some problems with my computer and it became even more difficult.
1. Children - They are born trusting you. They trust you to feed them and care for them. They trust you to be their protector and to provide for their needs. They trust you to teach them how to get along in this society. And they trust you to show them the way to a better life. Here's a few ways parents teach their children to mistrust them.
Don't yell at them or embarrass them in public. If you do, you become the enemy not the person they look to for guidance. By embarrassing them in public you have become a person who hurts not a person who protects.
Don't be a screamer at home for the same reasons. Also screaming teaches your child that you are out of control. How can you expect them to be "in control" if you are constantly "out of control."
Don't take away their childhood. Allow them to be their appropriate age. Always wanting them to act older than they are or to accept responsibility that's beyond their age will not only make them nervous - but will help them to mistrust you. If you push too hard, how can they trust you enough to understand their inner thoughts?
Don't betray their trust physically. It is your responsibility to protect that child. Think of yourself as a mother in the animal kingdom. You mess with any baby animal and that mother will fight you. My mom used to say that I reminded her of a lioness. Anyone messing with my cubs and I would pounce. I consider that a compliment. If you aren't that way and you allow others to hurt your child - your child won't trust you. And if you become the aggressor and hurt your child, it will be a long time before your child can trust you or anyone else.
2. Spouse - when you pledge your life to someone that requires trust on your part - but volumes of trust on their part. They have agreed to be linked to you for the rest of their lives. Whatever you do will affect them and sometimes will be worse for them than it is for you. When you allow mistrust to enter that sacred bond, you weaken your ability to love.
Be considerate. Treat your spouse "better" than you treat anyone else. Be willing to do little things for them and go out of your way to be kind.
Don't forget to say PLEASE AND THANK YOU. I think it's awful when spouses think it's okay to lose your manners at home. If your spouse takes the garbage out - YOU MUST SAY THANK YOU! When that wonderful spouse takes you out to dinner - don't forget to say THANK YOU! And men, if you have a wonderful wife who stays home and does all she can to provide good children and a beautiful home - it is your GOD GIVEN DUTY to say THANK YOU - OFTEN!
Don't take each other for granted.
My Dad, Dr. Ken Crocker has given many wonderful sermons on marriage. I will never forget one where he said "betrayal in a marriage is not limited to an affair. Anytime we betray our spouse in public by making fun of who they are or belittling what they do - we are guilty of infidelity.
Webster's defines infidelity: An unfaithful or disloyal act, unfaithfulness or disloyalty to another.
Wouldn't that cause mistrust? How can you trust someone who is selling your reputation up the river for the sake of a joke or a moment in the spotlight?
Be the greatest supporter of your spouse and they will not only trust you, they will give you undying love.
3. Your Church - how many times have you betrayed your church? Promised to stand by another member during a hard time, promised to pray - but you got busy and forgot. Promised to let others at work or in your neighborhood know about the church, but you were too embarrassed. How many times has someone asked you where you went to church and you acted like you were embarrassed to answer?
How many times have you disrespected God's house? Have you taught your children to be respectful?
A little soap box of mine. Why do we think we are opening up the heart of God more when we allow people to dress like bums when they attend church? We are saying to them, "Come hear about a man who gave his all for you. He died on a cross. He shed his blood. He loves you with everything he is and all he represents. And guess what? You can come and disrespect him all you want. You can wear tee shirts that proclaim ungodly things. You can wear your worst clothes, not shower, don't even brush your teeth or comb your hair. You can sit in church wrapped up in someone else or even sleep through the service. It's all okay, because even if he died for you - you can disrespect him all you want." We constantly preach that God is awesome and the greatest thing in heaven and on earth, but we allow them to disrespect him as if he were a bum sitting in the back of a public bus.
B A L O N E Y! I believe that if you truly love God he will love you back. But I also believe that if you truly love him you will WANT to give him all the respect he deserves. You will take a lesson from Cain and Able in Genesis and you will bring him your "BEST" fruits. You will clean up, dress up and act like somebody.
Phew!
Well, as you can see the list for taking TRUST into our everyday lives could go on forever. Just remember that real trust hides in the most unlikely places. Over the last few days I have notes for 137 ways we can expand TRUST and develop better relationships.
Here's my final tip. Ask yourself if your family or your friends were all sitting in a circle and talking about you - what would they say?
Would they say things like, "I could always count on her to be there."
"He never let me down. Every time I wanted to talk he was ready."
"If She made a promise, you could take it to the bank."
"He was the most trusted person I know."
"My life was better because I could TRUST her to be at her best."
"He supported me and never left my side. I TRUST him."
It really isn't hard you know. In any situation you face, ask yourself one question - if I were on the other side, what would I hope others would do? In other words, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
God loves you,
Debbie
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Trust - Lesson 2
"I accept what you are saying about trust, but I still don't understand why it's so important to humans to have trust. Why can't we just get over it and go on?"
When my youngest son Ken was about 4-years-old he started a very bad habit. Jamie was four years older, faster and had much cooler toys. Jamie was already getting into artistic projects and he had a lot of cool paints, chalks, brushes, etc. Jamie seemed to have a high tolerance for pain while Ken had developed some illnesses. Ken figured out that if he stretched the truth or even lied about a situation that he could get what he wanted. So for a few months we were faced with the following:
"Ken, I saw you in the closet. I know you had my stuff!"
"No I didn't."
Later we would find something broken and under his bed. "Kenneth!"
We didn't want to accuse him of lying but the evidence was strong. As parents we worried about insisting that he was wrong when he so adamantly assured us he was innocent. One of the worst things that can happen to any child is to be accused and blamed when you are truly innocent.
I tried several different ways of stressing honesty. Finally, the situation had escalated to the point to where no one believed anything he had to say. At age six I took him to the living room couch for a discussion.
I explained that we really didn't know for sure what was going on. I lingered on his accomplishments and accentuated how proud we were of all the good things in his life. Then I explained that everyone developed reputations. I talked about different people he knew and how they impressed him. One little girl had been a pest. For him at age 6 I asked the horrible question "How would you like to grow up and marry her?"
After a few ooooo's and oh yucks he shook his head with a "NO Way!"
"But why not? She's a beautiful little girl. And maybe by the time she's 18 she won't be that way any more."
Ken gave me a "yeah right" look and stated flatly, "Mom, she will always be that way. You just don't know her like I do."
After a few more examples, I broke into that little six-year-old heart. "Someday you are going to be old enough to drive. You are going to come to your Dad and ask to borrow the car. Your Dad isn't going to want to let just anyone drive his nice new car. There will be rules..."
Ken broke in..."I won't mind. I'll obey all the rules."
I smiled, "But by that time Ken, how can Dad trust you? If he says he doesn't want you to go over the speed limit and you agree not to; how can he truly be sure that you are telling him the truth. After all, if you misrepresent the truth about Jamie's paints, why wouldn't you misrepresent the truth about Dad's car. If I know your Dad, he probably will say no way - just because he won't trust you. Is that what you want?"
I still remember the look on Ken's face. I could see the wheels turning in his brain as he weighed the consequences. Finally he looked down at his hands and then back up at me. "I promise you Mom, anything I say from now on will be the truth no matter how much it hurts me."
"That's great Ken, but you have to understand this won't be easy. Jamie and Amie have lost trust in you and it will take them a long time to see you as Mr. Truthful. If you have any trouble with that, come to me and we will work out a solution."
I'm happy to say that from that moment on not only was Ken Mr. Truthful, but he became the truth police. Any embellishment for the sake of a joke or to make a story more dramatic and we heard the whistle of the truth police - "That's not really how it was, Mom. He wasn't crying, he just had one little tear."
Today, I would believe Ken over anyone I know. If he says it - It's gospel truth!
Trust goes deep into every part of our lives. I could give you examples all day long.
When a wife tells her husband she loves him more than anything, but can't seem to remember to pick up his laundry or give him 15 minutes of quiet coffee time in the morning - does she? Wouldn't you think that her love would go deep enough to put at least a few of his needs ahead of hers. Shouldn't he be able to Trust her to take care of him? And of course...vice versa!
The biggest reason I'm totally against premarital sex is because of hidden mistrust. What does it say to your fiance about your ability to be true to them if you have already had multiple partners. Whether or not it's a sin isn't as important as the loss of trust.
If a man or woman is so weak that they can't control their glands at 20 so that they can be true to a yet unknown spouse....how can they be trusted to be faithful once they know the spouse and their faults? Wouldn't it stand to reason that if they are displeased that they would be prone to move on?
Now don't get me wrong and don't go mistrusting your spouse. There are many men and women that are happily married and never stray. God has entered their lives and they have started anew. That's wonderful! Praise God!
But I submit that many marriages end or are stumbling on shaky ground because both partners mistrust the faithfulness of their spouse based on pre-marriage actions.
Trust even goes into our churches.
I know many people who are leaving churches they have attended for years. Why? They trusted the pastor and other members to be there when they needed help and were disappointed when they were forgotten. Breech of Trust just can't be tolerated. We expect those who love us to be trustworthy. When they aren't, we are devastated.
Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."
As part of our social culture - well, any social culture here on earth - we constantly judge. (I'll save the judging lesson for another time) I don't want to argue the biblical point of judging other than to say that you should read the entire chapter on judging before quoting the verse "Judge not that you be not judged." What that scripture is actually saying is that we will be judged with or without mercy according to how we judge others.
The human fact is that we judge every day. We make decisions based on how we feel about those around us. Do I trust this doctor? That's a judgement based on his mannerisms or his credentials. Do I trust this pastor? Again a judgement.
When we meet someone new, we instantly make a judgement based on his appearance, his voice, his speech, his eyes. We decide within moments whether or not we want to continue the relationship.
Can you imagine a world where we didn't judge? Or where our ability to trust was eliminated? No one would be afraid of anyone else - but NO ONE COULD BE TRUSTED EITHER. Can you imagine the chaos that would bring?
Making proper judgements about people, situations and things is one of the most important talents we can develop. We better find out how to do it correctly. To help others judge us properly, we need to develop our character and reputation so others will perceive us as we want to be known. In other words, if you are living a lie - you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.
I love the old statement - "My word is my bond." That's a huge statement about Trust. It means that I can be trusted to follow through regardless of the personal pain it will cause. We need more trustworthy people in this world.
God can be trusted and as he followers we should be too. But how? Tune in tomorrow and I'll give you a list about being a trustworthy person.
And now a message from our sponsor : 1 Timothy 1:15-16
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."
God loves you,
Debbie
When my youngest son Ken was about 4-years-old he started a very bad habit. Jamie was four years older, faster and had much cooler toys. Jamie was already getting into artistic projects and he had a lot of cool paints, chalks, brushes, etc. Jamie seemed to have a high tolerance for pain while Ken had developed some illnesses. Ken figured out that if he stretched the truth or even lied about a situation that he could get what he wanted. So for a few months we were faced with the following:
"Ken, I saw you in the closet. I know you had my stuff!"
"No I didn't."
Later we would find something broken and under his bed. "Kenneth!"
We didn't want to accuse him of lying but the evidence was strong. As parents we worried about insisting that he was wrong when he so adamantly assured us he was innocent. One of the worst things that can happen to any child is to be accused and blamed when you are truly innocent.
I tried several different ways of stressing honesty. Finally, the situation had escalated to the point to where no one believed anything he had to say. At age six I took him to the living room couch for a discussion.
I explained that we really didn't know for sure what was going on. I lingered on his accomplishments and accentuated how proud we were of all the good things in his life. Then I explained that everyone developed reputations. I talked about different people he knew and how they impressed him. One little girl had been a pest. For him at age 6 I asked the horrible question "How would you like to grow up and marry her?"
After a few ooooo's and oh yucks he shook his head with a "NO Way!"
"But why not? She's a beautiful little girl. And maybe by the time she's 18 she won't be that way any more."
Ken gave me a "yeah right" look and stated flatly, "Mom, she will always be that way. You just don't know her like I do."
After a few more examples, I broke into that little six-year-old heart. "Someday you are going to be old enough to drive. You are going to come to your Dad and ask to borrow the car. Your Dad isn't going to want to let just anyone drive his nice new car. There will be rules..."
Ken broke in..."I won't mind. I'll obey all the rules."
I smiled, "But by that time Ken, how can Dad trust you? If he says he doesn't want you to go over the speed limit and you agree not to; how can he truly be sure that you are telling him the truth. After all, if you misrepresent the truth about Jamie's paints, why wouldn't you misrepresent the truth about Dad's car. If I know your Dad, he probably will say no way - just because he won't trust you. Is that what you want?"
I still remember the look on Ken's face. I could see the wheels turning in his brain as he weighed the consequences. Finally he looked down at his hands and then back up at me. "I promise you Mom, anything I say from now on will be the truth no matter how much it hurts me."
"That's great Ken, but you have to understand this won't be easy. Jamie and Amie have lost trust in you and it will take them a long time to see you as Mr. Truthful. If you have any trouble with that, come to me and we will work out a solution."
I'm happy to say that from that moment on not only was Ken Mr. Truthful, but he became the truth police. Any embellishment for the sake of a joke or to make a story more dramatic and we heard the whistle of the truth police - "That's not really how it was, Mom. He wasn't crying, he just had one little tear."
Today, I would believe Ken over anyone I know. If he says it - It's gospel truth!
Trust goes deep into every part of our lives. I could give you examples all day long.
When a wife tells her husband she loves him more than anything, but can't seem to remember to pick up his laundry or give him 15 minutes of quiet coffee time in the morning - does she? Wouldn't you think that her love would go deep enough to put at least a few of his needs ahead of hers. Shouldn't he be able to Trust her to take care of him? And of course...vice versa!
The biggest reason I'm totally against premarital sex is because of hidden mistrust. What does it say to your fiance about your ability to be true to them if you have already had multiple partners. Whether or not it's a sin isn't as important as the loss of trust.
If a man or woman is so weak that they can't control their glands at 20 so that they can be true to a yet unknown spouse....how can they be trusted to be faithful once they know the spouse and their faults? Wouldn't it stand to reason that if they are displeased that they would be prone to move on?
Now don't get me wrong and don't go mistrusting your spouse. There are many men and women that are happily married and never stray. God has entered their lives and they have started anew. That's wonderful! Praise God!
But I submit that many marriages end or are stumbling on shaky ground because both partners mistrust the faithfulness of their spouse based on pre-marriage actions.
Trust even goes into our churches.
I know many people who are leaving churches they have attended for years. Why? They trusted the pastor and other members to be there when they needed help and were disappointed when they were forgotten. Breech of Trust just can't be tolerated. We expect those who love us to be trustworthy. When they aren't, we are devastated.
Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."
As part of our social culture - well, any social culture here on earth - we constantly judge. (I'll save the judging lesson for another time) I don't want to argue the biblical point of judging other than to say that you should read the entire chapter on judging before quoting the verse "Judge not that you be not judged." What that scripture is actually saying is that we will be judged with or without mercy according to how we judge others.
The human fact is that we judge every day. We make decisions based on how we feel about those around us. Do I trust this doctor? That's a judgement based on his mannerisms or his credentials. Do I trust this pastor? Again a judgement.
When we meet someone new, we instantly make a judgement based on his appearance, his voice, his speech, his eyes. We decide within moments whether or not we want to continue the relationship.
Can you imagine a world where we didn't judge? Or where our ability to trust was eliminated? No one would be afraid of anyone else - but NO ONE COULD BE TRUSTED EITHER. Can you imagine the chaos that would bring?
Making proper judgements about people, situations and things is one of the most important talents we can develop. We better find out how to do it correctly. To help others judge us properly, we need to develop our character and reputation so others will perceive us as we want to be known. In other words, if you are living a lie - you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.
I love the old statement - "My word is my bond." That's a huge statement about Trust. It means that I can be trusted to follow through regardless of the personal pain it will cause. We need more trustworthy people in this world.
God can be trusted and as he followers we should be too. But how? Tune in tomorrow and I'll give you a list about being a trustworthy person.
And now a message from our sponsor : 1 Timothy 1:15-16
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."
God loves you,
Debbie
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
TRUST - the VIP of relationships
I've received several e-mails about relationships. Not only do some of you want to know how to start a new relationship, some of you want to know how to repair a dysfunctional one. This subject will be continued for several posts.
The VIP (very important principle) of relationships is TRUST.
What your relationship will become depends on TRUST.
If you will even have a relationship depends on TRUST.
If you can be forgiven depends on TRUST.
And last but certainly not least, TRUE LOVE cannot exist without TRUST.
No other principle in a relationship is as powerful as TRUST. Let me give you some examples.
Your 10-year-old goes to school and is approached by some of the less desirable girls in the class. Since she isn't a teacher's pet and doesn't have designer clothes, they think she might be a candidate for their group. Both parents work and there's precious little time to talk with her so she gravitates to anyone that pays her attention. She's not part of the in group but desperately wants friends. She doesn't like a lot of the kids at church and feels left out at youth functions. You have disappointed her many times when you couldn't make it to special days and functions. You have taught her that work is far more important than she is. You've also taught her that no matter how bad she is hurting, if the schedule is full and everyone is rushing - you will not take time to talk to her. She will have to wait.
And since there is little time for talking and holding and just being together - she is confused by your bickering, nagging and pushing. She has lost your TRUST. She is wrong, but she feels the reason you push her so much is because you don't want to spend time with her. She can't wait for a better day when life is easier. She needs you now and doesn't think your success at work or the new house will ever make up for the pain she feels inside. She doesn't know how you really feel and your actions support the fact that you don't care.
This group is very anti-parent. They assure her that parents don't really care about their children. They fuss about the lack of love and understanding from parents and share their problems. They give her support. They lend an ear and say..."You can trust me. I won't betray you like your parents have." With trust gone, it is easy for her to look you in the eye and deny all love and all ties to the family.
You are stunned. You wonder how this happened. How could your sweet little 10-year-old daughter become so mean and angry?
Losing your trust in someone is as painful as death. Feeling that they have betrayed you or let you down leaves a huge wound that takes a long time to heal - if ever.
A big part of love is the feeling that we can run to that person when we are hurt. A big part of love is feeling that the person we run to can be trusted with our feelings, our battles, our hurts, our inner thoughts and our love. When we can no longer trust them, our world with them begins to crumble and fall apart.
Think of all the reasons marriages break up. I am positive that 90% of those reasons can be linked to loss of TRUST.
I asked one young lady that was preparing for divorce after only three years of marriage. "What would you do if he apologized and said it would never happen again? Would you take him back and simply wait and see if he could be a good husband?"
"I love him. I will always love him. There's a part of me that will never forget the love that we once had. But he's made a lot of promises and refused to keep them. He's enjoyed hurting me. He's been abusive and felt that he had that right. I just can't trust him. What if he is good for three years and then it's back to normal? What if I have a child by that time? What if he does those things to my child? I will always wonder if the next day or the next month will be the time he chooses to give up again and go back to the old ways. I will always wonder if some tragedy comes along will he feel pushed to hurt me again. I simply can't trust him. I forgive him, but I can't trust him."
Wow. Every parent, every child, every spouse, every employer, every pastor, every human being on the face of the earth should understand that principle.
When we lose trust.....the relationship deteriorates.
I recently talked to a very unhappy husband. He told me he had never been happy the entire 12 years of his marriage. His wife is verbally abusive and controlling. He doesn't want to leave because he is totally in love with his children. He would give his life to be sure they are safe. He is afraid if he leaves his wife would demand the children and might then turn her abuse to them. So, he stays. I asked how he was able to manage.
"I'm numb. I go through my day with one thought - to be a good Dad."
"Don't you feel you deserve love for yourself?"
"I could never be happy knowing my children were hurting. So I'm choosing which pain to endure. I kiss my wife and feel nothing. I go to bed with her and feel nothing. "
"What if I talked to her. Maybe I can get her to see what she is doing and how it is hurting you."
"No. I don't think that would work. She has made so many promises and they never happened. Even if she sees the pain she causes - it's only for a day or so and then it's back to normal. I just couldn't trust her. And if she didn't listen it would be worse for me. She would take out her pain on me and the children. No, I think it's best to leave things like they are. I can't trust her for any love or affection and I just couldn't take the pain of more disappointment when it didn't work."
TRUST
We need to TRUST our parents.
We need to TRUST our spouse.
We MUST TRUST our God.
We need to TRUST our leaders.
We need to TRUST our friends.
Of those five there is only one perfect TRUST
'Tis so sweet to Trust in Jesus,
Just to take him at his word.
Just to rest upon His promise;
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord."
Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
What ever your problems are, God has earned your TRUST. He sent his precious son Jesus to earth just for you. Your life, your family, your soul is safe with him. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always be by your side. He wants you to make it and to come out of your trial successfully. He loves you more than anyone on the planet ever could.
Jesus has earned your TRUST and will be your dearest friend.
I'm here. Let me know if I can help.
God loves you,
Debbie
The VIP (very important principle) of relationships is TRUST.
What your relationship will become depends on TRUST.
If you will even have a relationship depends on TRUST.
If you can be forgiven depends on TRUST.
And last but certainly not least, TRUE LOVE cannot exist without TRUST.
No other principle in a relationship is as powerful as TRUST. Let me give you some examples.
Your 10-year-old goes to school and is approached by some of the less desirable girls in the class. Since she isn't a teacher's pet and doesn't have designer clothes, they think she might be a candidate for their group. Both parents work and there's precious little time to talk with her so she gravitates to anyone that pays her attention. She's not part of the in group but desperately wants friends. She doesn't like a lot of the kids at church and feels left out at youth functions. You have disappointed her many times when you couldn't make it to special days and functions. You have taught her that work is far more important than she is. You've also taught her that no matter how bad she is hurting, if the schedule is full and everyone is rushing - you will not take time to talk to her. She will have to wait.
And since there is little time for talking and holding and just being together - she is confused by your bickering, nagging and pushing. She has lost your TRUST. She is wrong, but she feels the reason you push her so much is because you don't want to spend time with her. She can't wait for a better day when life is easier. She needs you now and doesn't think your success at work or the new house will ever make up for the pain she feels inside. She doesn't know how you really feel and your actions support the fact that you don't care.
This group is very anti-parent. They assure her that parents don't really care about their children. They fuss about the lack of love and understanding from parents and share their problems. They give her support. They lend an ear and say..."You can trust me. I won't betray you like your parents have." With trust gone, it is easy for her to look you in the eye and deny all love and all ties to the family.
You are stunned. You wonder how this happened. How could your sweet little 10-year-old daughter become so mean and angry?
Losing your trust in someone is as painful as death. Feeling that they have betrayed you or let you down leaves a huge wound that takes a long time to heal - if ever.
A big part of love is the feeling that we can run to that person when we are hurt. A big part of love is feeling that the person we run to can be trusted with our feelings, our battles, our hurts, our inner thoughts and our love. When we can no longer trust them, our world with them begins to crumble and fall apart.
Think of all the reasons marriages break up. I am positive that 90% of those reasons can be linked to loss of TRUST.
I asked one young lady that was preparing for divorce after only three years of marriage. "What would you do if he apologized and said it would never happen again? Would you take him back and simply wait and see if he could be a good husband?"
"I love him. I will always love him. There's a part of me that will never forget the love that we once had. But he's made a lot of promises and refused to keep them. He's enjoyed hurting me. He's been abusive and felt that he had that right. I just can't trust him. What if he is good for three years and then it's back to normal? What if I have a child by that time? What if he does those things to my child? I will always wonder if the next day or the next month will be the time he chooses to give up again and go back to the old ways. I will always wonder if some tragedy comes along will he feel pushed to hurt me again. I simply can't trust him. I forgive him, but I can't trust him."
Wow. Every parent, every child, every spouse, every employer, every pastor, every human being on the face of the earth should understand that principle.
When we lose trust.....the relationship deteriorates.
I recently talked to a very unhappy husband. He told me he had never been happy the entire 12 years of his marriage. His wife is verbally abusive and controlling. He doesn't want to leave because he is totally in love with his children. He would give his life to be sure they are safe. He is afraid if he leaves his wife would demand the children and might then turn her abuse to them. So, he stays. I asked how he was able to manage.
"I'm numb. I go through my day with one thought - to be a good Dad."
"Don't you feel you deserve love for yourself?"
"I could never be happy knowing my children were hurting. So I'm choosing which pain to endure. I kiss my wife and feel nothing. I go to bed with her and feel nothing. "
"What if I talked to her. Maybe I can get her to see what she is doing and how it is hurting you."
"No. I don't think that would work. She has made so many promises and they never happened. Even if she sees the pain she causes - it's only for a day or so and then it's back to normal. I just couldn't trust her. And if she didn't listen it would be worse for me. She would take out her pain on me and the children. No, I think it's best to leave things like they are. I can't trust her for any love or affection and I just couldn't take the pain of more disappointment when it didn't work."
TRUST
We need to TRUST our parents.
We need to TRUST our spouse.
We MUST TRUST our God.
We need to TRUST our leaders.
We need to TRUST our friends.
Of those five there is only one perfect TRUST
'Tis so sweet to Trust in Jesus,
Just to take him at his word.
Just to rest upon His promise;
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord."
Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
What ever your problems are, God has earned your TRUST. He sent his precious son Jesus to earth just for you. Your life, your family, your soul is safe with him. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always be by your side. He wants you to make it and to come out of your trial successfully. He loves you more than anyone on the planet ever could.
Jesus has earned your TRUST and will be your dearest friend.
I'm here. Let me know if I can help.
God loves you,
Debbie
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Daily Miracles
I have missed you! I may have said that before, but only because it truly expresses my heart. Every time I sit and write, I am thinking of each of you. I see faces and smiles and feel your burdens. So, yes....I have missed you.
Jamie is finally home and doing better. We first took him to my house for a couple of days so he could get used to a new routine. Then on to his house to put his new skills into place. It's very difficult for him to get around but he's strong and young and doing so much better. We certainly are grateful for God's love and protection - and for your prayers. Jamie is still having some pain and has three months of recovery ahead of him with another three months of therapy beyond that. But he is on the road to recovery and that's wonderful.
Over the last few days I've watched him. Probably more than he would like - but in a way that most mothers or fathers look at their child. I revel in every movement, every smile and every gesture that yells - "Hey Mom, I'm okay!"
This afternoon I was thinking about miracles and how so many people pray for "great" miracles in their lives. We want a new car or all our bills paid. Some people pray for fame or maybe just success at work.
I wondered....."How does God define a miracle?"
Perhaps a real miracle depends on the point of view.
Being able to tie your shoes can be a miracle for a five-year-old, especially if he has some handicap or disability.
Being able to clean your house may be an mountain of a miracle if you have triplets.
Having a troubled teen give you a hug before going to school might rank as a miracle.
Or maybe miracles can be even smaller. Maybe looking at someone who's been very sick and just noticing that they don't wince when they move a scarred leg can be somewhat of a miracle.
Maybe having an unsaved husband pass by your Bible without cursing is a full blown miracle.
Maybe being able to go outside and feel the sun on your face, take a deep breath and in that moment know that God himself looks down on you and smiles - yes, maybe that's the best miracle of all. Just knowing that there is a God and that he cares about you.
He does you know. He's not waiting for you to fail, he knows your going to fail. We all do.
He's not waiting for you to succeed either. He's just watching with love. That's all. Just like you and I watch our children and breathe a little easier with every new accomplishment.
When you forget to have devotions or go for days without reading the scriptures. When you shouldn't fuss but you did and now your child is walking away without your love. When you are so overloaded you snap and snarl at your spouse. When you just couldn't get the work done and you made up a lie to cover your tracks. When life seems to spin around you like a tornado and the debris is more than you could ever clean up.
Guess what? He still loves you. His arms are open wide and he says, "Come rest with me and I'll give you a daily miracle."
Does He take away your problems? No.
Does He cause everyone to fall at your feet and call you blessed? No.
Does he give you everything you want? No.
His miracle is that you see HIM. That you open your heart and your eyes for just a second and you catch a glimpse of Almighty God. In that moment you see life as it is and you feel as though you are a part of Him. Being a part of Him, removes everything else.
It's just for a moment, but in that moment you are refreshed.
God in all His Glory loves you. There's no greater miracle than that.
Close your eyes. Feel Him now.
God loves you.
Debbie
Jamie is finally home and doing better. We first took him to my house for a couple of days so he could get used to a new routine. Then on to his house to put his new skills into place. It's very difficult for him to get around but he's strong and young and doing so much better. We certainly are grateful for God's love and protection - and for your prayers. Jamie is still having some pain and has three months of recovery ahead of him with another three months of therapy beyond that. But he is on the road to recovery and that's wonderful.
Over the last few days I've watched him. Probably more than he would like - but in a way that most mothers or fathers look at their child. I revel in every movement, every smile and every gesture that yells - "Hey Mom, I'm okay!"
This afternoon I was thinking about miracles and how so many people pray for "great" miracles in their lives. We want a new car or all our bills paid. Some people pray for fame or maybe just success at work.
I wondered....."How does God define a miracle?"
Perhaps a real miracle depends on the point of view.
Being able to tie your shoes can be a miracle for a five-year-old, especially if he has some handicap or disability.
Being able to clean your house may be an mountain of a miracle if you have triplets.
Having a troubled teen give you a hug before going to school might rank as a miracle.
Or maybe miracles can be even smaller. Maybe looking at someone who's been very sick and just noticing that they don't wince when they move a scarred leg can be somewhat of a miracle.
Maybe having an unsaved husband pass by your Bible without cursing is a full blown miracle.
Maybe being able to go outside and feel the sun on your face, take a deep breath and in that moment know that God himself looks down on you and smiles - yes, maybe that's the best miracle of all. Just knowing that there is a God and that he cares about you.
He does you know. He's not waiting for you to fail, he knows your going to fail. We all do.
He's not waiting for you to succeed either. He's just watching with love. That's all. Just like you and I watch our children and breathe a little easier with every new accomplishment.
When you forget to have devotions or go for days without reading the scriptures. When you shouldn't fuss but you did and now your child is walking away without your love. When you are so overloaded you snap and snarl at your spouse. When you just couldn't get the work done and you made up a lie to cover your tracks. When life seems to spin around you like a tornado and the debris is more than you could ever clean up.
Guess what? He still loves you. His arms are open wide and he says, "Come rest with me and I'll give you a daily miracle."
Does He take away your problems? No.
Does He cause everyone to fall at your feet and call you blessed? No.
Does he give you everything you want? No.
His miracle is that you see HIM. That you open your heart and your eyes for just a second and you catch a glimpse of Almighty God. In that moment you see life as it is and you feel as though you are a part of Him. Being a part of Him, removes everything else.
It's just for a moment, but in that moment you are refreshed.
God in all His Glory loves you. There's no greater miracle than that.
Close your eyes. Feel Him now.
God loves you.
Debbie
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Miracles do happen!
Again I'm rushing back to the hospital, but since we haven't talked for a few days I had to take a moment and write.
I think I've told you that my parents are ministers. I'm an only child. I loved working by their side in the churches where they served as pastor. I don't have a great voice but it was adequate enough for me to sing. As a teenager my favorite solo was "It Took a Miracle" by John W. Peterson.
I've thought of that song several times over the last few days. When I last wrote I told you that Jamie's heart rate went up to 247 once and about 45 minutes later it went up to 210. Both times it came down to an appropriate level within several minutes.
What we learned the next day was that two small blood clots had passed through Jamie's heart. Had they been any larger, he would not be with us.
There have been a lot of prayers going up for Jamie. I was in the room when both incidents happened. Recalling the situation for other family members has been hard, but I have added something I didn't see at the time. Now in remembering I am aware that Jesus was standing beside my son and had the situation well in control.
The song "It took a Miracle" is actually referring to our salvation. But I also believe that Jesus is alive and well and many times is the author of miracles we need in our human lives. I am humbled to know that he takes the time to visit each of us and see to our needs.
Jesus is my friend.
Jesus is my comforter.
Jesus is my Lord and Savior.
Trusting Jesus with my life is the most comforting thing I can do.
I hope you know him today. I hope you feel his presence around you. I hope that you can trust him for the dangers you know about and for those that are lurking outside your knowledge.
I thank God with all my heart that he spared Jamie's life. I give him all the praise.
Copyright laws for songs expire in 50 years. I'm just under the wire with this one, but I hope you enjoy it's message.
It took a Miracle
by John W. Peterson
1. My father is omnipotent, and that you can't deny;
A God of might and miracles; 'Tis written in the sky.
Chorus:
It took a miracle to put the stars in place;
It took a miracle to hang the world in space.
But when He save my soul, cleansed and made me whole,
It took a miracle of love and grace.
2. Though here His glory has been shown, We still can't fully see
The wonders of His might, His throne; 'Twill take eternity.
3. The Bible tells us of his pow'r and wisdom all way through,
And every little bird and flow'r are testimonies, too.
If God is the author of all the beauties of nature - He is surely powerful enough to guard, protect and direct our lives.
God loves you,
Debbie
Friday, August 10, 2007
God's arms
I'm rushing back to the hospital. I was able to sleep for a few hours, but I need to get back. I wanted to take a moment and let you know how grateful I am for your friendship and all your prayers.
Jamie is doing good, but we had a little scare last night. His heart rate spiked to over 240. Within minutes it returned to normal. They are doing multiple tests to be sure he's okay.
Driving home I was reminded of a sermon I heard. I think it was Tony Evans. He said he took his 3 year old son to the doctor. Everything was fine but he needed a shot. They tried to explain it and prepare the child for the shot, but when the nurse came at him with a needle he began to scream. His Dad was holding him and the child grabbed at his neck and tried to crawl closer - as if that were possible.
Rev. Evans calmly repeated, "It's okay son. Just hold on to me. It will be over soon."
His point was that when we are in trouble and life scares us, the best thing we can do is to hold on to our heavenly Father as tightly as we can. Perhaps he can't take the trouble away, but if you listen real close you'll hear him say,
"It's okay. Just hold on to me. It will be over soon."
God loves you,
Debbie
Jamie is doing good, but we had a little scare last night. His heart rate spiked to over 240. Within minutes it returned to normal. They are doing multiple tests to be sure he's okay.
Driving home I was reminded of a sermon I heard. I think it was Tony Evans. He said he took his 3 year old son to the doctor. Everything was fine but he needed a shot. They tried to explain it and prepare the child for the shot, but when the nurse came at him with a needle he began to scream. His Dad was holding him and the child grabbed at his neck and tried to crawl closer - as if that were possible.
Rev. Evans calmly repeated, "It's okay son. Just hold on to me. It will be over soon."
His point was that when we are in trouble and life scares us, the best thing we can do is to hold on to our heavenly Father as tightly as we can. Perhaps he can't take the trouble away, but if you listen real close you'll hear him say,
"It's okay. Just hold on to me. It will be over soon."
God loves you,
Debbie
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