Several years ago I told a young lady to be sure and "make a date for Valentines". She looked at me like I had just slapped her.
"That's impossible. I'm married."
In those simple sentences lies most of the marital problems of newlyweds. All the giggling, tickling, flirting and fun of dating is left at the alter and replaced by rent, bills and finally children.
I think that when a marriage ceremony is performed, one line should be added:
"Do you promise to love, obey, tickle, play and flirt every day of your life until death do you part?"
Most speakers in marriage ceremonies are quick to point out that you must "work" to keep your marriage strong. I submit that you must "play" to keep your marriage strong.
A long time ago I counseled with a newlywed couple. They were worried that their love had died. "I just don't feel the same about her," he complained. He was working hard and bills were overwhelming.
"What's wrong with me?" she cried. "I always thought he was so handsome. Now, well....I just don't feel the same. I've tried to get excited, but I just don't feel anything. I've dressed in all kinds of crazy outfits and tried to make myself exciting for him....but it's just not there. We are both miserable."
Two weeks later they were in love again. How? I asked them to meet with me three times a week for two weeks. I found ways to encourage them to flirt with each other and we ended each session with a tickling match.
Simple...yes. Most marriages get off to a slow crawl because there's just so much to do. We set up house and buy all the things we didn't get for our wedding. We rush to new jobs leaving responsibilities at home. We go from having time to burn to not having two minutes free time. That's when it is so important to "plan" time to date.
Valentines will be here soon. Don't forget how important it is to wash the car, buy some flowers and go out for supper. Just be sure and flirt, tickle and laugh your way into a better marriage!
God loves you,
Debbie
For the record, I think Valentines Day is a rip-off. It is a commercial blitz put together by the over-paid executives at the candy, flower and card companies.
ReplyDeleteIn years past, I would whine and complain about Valentines Day and about getting ripped off and made everyones life around me miserable. Worst of all though, I hurt my wife.
This year, however, something changed. I quit focusing on the commercial garbage and focused on spending time with my wife and showing her how much I really love her. She never asks for anything but my attention and my time. She is happy with just getting a card for Valentines Day. This year I got her flowers. Not the typical dozen roses, beause she doesn't really care for them. I put some thought into some different kinds of flowers and flower arrangements that show some meaning. I finally found and arrangement that was perfect. A mix of red tulips and orchids that was called the "Hugs and Kisses" bouquet. An arragement in flowers to show all she wants form me is my "hugs and kisses".
I made reservations at one of her favorite restuarants and had granny watch the boys. You'd have thought I had given her a million dollars.
I realize now that I need to make more date nights through out the year for just the two of us, but especially on Valentines Day. Once again Debbie is right. Don't you hate it when Debbie is right? Again.