Don't forget the important gifts of Christmas

Merry Christmas!

I am looking forward to the important gifts of Christmas.  The ones that last a lifetime.  The gifts that keep on giving all year long.  They are wrapped with paper that outshines all others.  The gifts I'm talking about are the personal smiles, sweet memories and beautiful moments that we share with loved ones and friends.  Those little snippets of time that keep invading our thoughts all year long.  The moments that leave a lump in our throat but sweep all the cobwebs from our aching hearts.  When the tiniest sweet moment is through we take a deep breath and drink in a freshness that seems to clear away all the sadness of this evil world.

Take time this Christmas to hug all your friends and family.  Hold them tight.  Whisper that you love them.  Listen to their stories, share a laugh and be thankful for those who have blessed your life so much.  My Dad just posted this wonderful story on his blog.  I hope you enjoy this little present of goodness.

Operator please

June 23, 1998

When I was young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember well the polished old case fastened to the wall. The black receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother used to talk to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person - her name was “Information Please” and there was nothing she did not know. “Information Please” could supply anybody’s number and the correct time.

My first personal experience with this genie-in-the-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer.

The pain was terrible, but there didn’t seem to be any reason in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway.

The telephone!

Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. “Information Please,” I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

“Information.”

“I hurt my finger.” I wailed into the phone. The tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

“Isn’t your mother home?” came the question.

“Nobody’s home but me.” I blubbered.

“Are you bleeding?”

“No,” I replied. “I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.”

“Can you open your icebox?” she asked. I said I could.

“Then chip off a little piece of ice and hold it to your finger,” said the voice.

After that, I called “Information Please” for everything. I asked her for help with my geography and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before would eat fruits and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary died. I called “Information Please” and told her the sad story. She listened, then said the usual things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was un-consoled. I asked her, “Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?”

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, “Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.” Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone. “Information Please.”

“Information,” said the now familiar voice.

“How do you spell fix?” I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest.

When I was 9 years old, we moved across the country to Boston.

I missed my friend very much. “Information Please” belonged in that old wooden box back home, and I somehow never thought of trying the tall, shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall.

As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about half an hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, “Information, Please”.

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well, “Information.” I hadn’t planned this but I heard myself saying, “Could you please tell me how to spell fix?”

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, “I guess your finger must have healed by now.”

I laughed. “So it’s really still you,’ I said. “I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time.”

“I wonder”, she said, “if you know how much your calls meant to me.” “I never had any children, and I used to look forward to your calls.”

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

“Please do, she said. “Just ask for Sally.”

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered “Information.” I asked for Sally.

“Are you a friend?” She said.

“Yes, a very old friend,” I answered.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, she said. Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago.”

Before I could hang up she said, “Wait a minute. Did you say your name was Paul?”

“Yes.”

“Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you.” The note said, “Tell him I still say there are other worlds to sing in. He’ll know what I mean.”

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

 
 
Merry Christmas - God loves you,
 
Debbie

America's youth and the death of intelligent thought.

It's often hard to explain to others how I look at the world.  My new book, The Mommy Detective attempts to help others see what I see when I look at problems.  It shows my thoughts when it comes to my world view, parenting, faith and a host of other issues.  Basically, I feel that the only way to a good life is to know the truth.  If you base it on what you've heard or what someone has told you to believe - you can be fooled.  You may think you have a good life but around the corner a train wreck is on it's way. 

I don't want to be surprised negatively with a horrible ending to a particular train of thought.  For example if I believe that God doesn't exist because some atheist professor told me that in a classroom, what happens if he's wrong?  What happens if I get to the moment of death and find out that my Christian neighbor is right.  With no time to change, I will suffer the consequences of another person's research. 

If I plan to build a part of  my life on any philosophy, I am going to constantly question my beliefs to be sure I'm right.  The most dangerous position to be in is one where you can never test your theories or where you look at life through selfish eyes.  I've know wonderful Christians who loved God but still viewed the world through very small selfish eyes.  For that reason I tell people constantly - show me something that is better than the way I live and I'll change.  But...first you have to prove to me it's better.  Since I know my platform extremely well and I've tested most every view - they back off quickly. 

We are headed for some very difficult times.  People are voting and spouting a lot of ridiculous theories and refusing to investigate their validity.  That will lead us to a slavery based society.  We may not be in physical chains - but we will be mentally chained.  We must train our children to think logically and to thoroughly test every area of every philosophy they choose to live by.  Without that kind of scrutiny we will bite the apple once again and our society will slip into desperate chaos. 

Guess who rises to the top during a chaotic situation - evil - always evil.  People usually don't turn to good people during a crisis because the good person will require some form of hard work.

Angel Hunt posted the following video on her blog.  I am grateful she did.  I hope you will watch the entire video and ask yourself - "Do my philosophies have the kind of holes in it that the interviewer revealed? "





God loves you,

Debbie

Scandal, scandal, scandal

Is anyone questioning the scandals that seem to crawl out of the woodwork when something good is happening? 

I'm not a mind reader.  I don't know if someone I've never met is telling the truth or not.  I can't put my arm around a total stranger and vouch for his/her integrity.  But it does seem that either a truly good person doesn't exist anymore or some people are willing to perjure themselves for the sake of ten minutes of fame. The real problem with the justice system and the media is that once a person is accused, the accuser can run away and hide.  He/she isn't prosecuted.  The life of the accused is ruin and there's no way to get it back.

I don't know Herman Cain.  I've read his bio and I've listened to him speak several times, but I can't tell you for sure that he isn't the kind of man that would sexually harass a woman.  Yet...it does seem suspicious that no one says a thing about him until....he rises in the polls and looks like he might be a shoe in.  Then all of a sudden four women are on the bandwagon to demand that he's a bad guy.  It seems like socialists, democrats, liberals and Mr. Obama's team are so desperate that I wouldn't put it pass someone in that army of individuals to do something dastardly.

If you factor in a little "discernment", it is possible to say...This person or that person just doesn't seem to be the kind of person to do that.  But... there again, who really knows.

For what it's worth, it doesn't seem to me that Herman Cain looks or acts like the kind of person that would demean any woman.  Something here doesn't ring true.  Besides, have you seen his bio???  It doesn't look to me like he would have time to harass anyone. 

I guess we will have to see how this all plays out, but I'm a little sad.  I don't think the media is trustworthy and I think most reporters would bury a candidate they didn't like for the price of dinner at Denny's.  I don't think they would bat an eye at ruining any one's life.  So to put this matter into their hands is like asking a crocodile to babysit a rabbit.  He wouldn't care about lost revenue, he'd just be glad dinner was served.

I guess the only real option here is to pray.  Pray for Herman Cain, pray for more honorable reporters and pray that God will have mercy on America.

God loves you,

Debbie

Welcome the Holidays -Hallelujah!

I was working on a sad news topic when Ron sent me a link to the following video.  I had tears in my eyes by the end of the video.  It's inspiring and wonderful.  It's about time children are taught that faith can be inspiring and fun.

I hope you will pass this video around as you welcome the coming holidays.



Now don't you feel better???

God loves you,

Debbie

Girl Scouts - a liberal organization

I remember growing up in a world where you could trust the philosophy and integrity of organizations like boy scouts and girl scouts.  I am sad at the overwhelming work new parents have to do in order to protect and defend their child and the Christian, conservative way of life. 

I have never confronted someone who disagrees with me and intentionally hurt them.  I've always been as nice as possible to everyone. I enjoy expressing my views and being respectful enough to hear theirs.

I've spent many years looking the other way when images, lifestyles and philosophies I don't agree with are displayed.  However, we don't live in a world where the true meaning of "diversity" exists.  Diversity, compassion, acceptance is only available for liberals and their agenda.  If I want to invite a group of like minded people to enjoy a meeting or day with people who "think like I do"....you can be sure I'll be attacked and someone will yell that I'm being divisive.  That's poppycock!  The real definition for what's happening in America today is "attack from the left, from liberals, from gays and from Muslims".  The agenda is to break down the family, destroy Christianity and eliminate any thought in America that doesn't promote the idea that any and everything is okay.

We are losing our freedoms and it won't be long until we will have to fight to regain what we've lost.  Don't get me wrong.  I hope these freedoms can be replaced peacefully.

It's just not logical when Muslims (or their representatives) attend a Catholic school and then sue because they don't have a prayer room dedicated to their faith.  Duh!  You want a Muslim prayer room - go to a Muslim school!  Don't try to destroy a Catholic school from within. 

In every segment of society atheists yell about how offensive a cross is or how they can't stand to drive past a grave because it has a flag or some religious symbol.  To believe that lie, I would have to see every atheist as a weak minded, feeble dysfunctional retard that doesn't have the ability to turn his head and look away.  And...that even the slightest symbol of Christianity would overpower his weak mind and cause him immediate pain.  How lame is that? 

But these pathetic Christians who are believing in something that isn't real - we have to stomach a constant stream of television images, off the beam scientists and pornography pushers.  And these poor Christians that need a crutch because they are so weak - we somehow are strong enough to resist the constant garbage we have to view. 

Today was the last straw.  Today I learned that innocent little girl scouts are the new stream of prey for liberal agendas.  This is from the American Family Association....

The Girl Scouts of Colorado has flip-flopped on a decision not to let a 7-year-old boy join their organization, now saying he is welcome even though he's not a girl, according to FoxNews.


The Girl Scouts issued a statement to the local Fox affiliate, saying they are an inclusive organization and will accept "Bobby." The troop leader who turned him away made a mistake, they said, and the situation is being rectified. "If a child identifies as a girl and the child's family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout," the statement said.

This follows a long history of liberal leanings by the Girl Scouts of America:

Girl Scouts supports Planned Parenthood
Girl Scouts recognizes many "gods"
Girl Scouts advances lesbianism and radical feminism

The Girls Scouts of America has lost it's way and lost its mind. A boy is not a girl, end of story.

AFA is proud to recommend the Christian-based American Heritage Girls as an alternative to the Girl Scouts of America. American Heritage Girls has over 13,000 members in 41 states.

To view this article AFA - Girl Scouts now allow transgender

I have just one thing to say to the Girl Scout representative that said, "If a child identifies as a girl and the child's family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout."

How stupid!  According to his/her rationale - If I identify myself as an eagle and my family presents me as an eagle - then I must be an eagle and the scientific community should welcome me as such.  I doubt that living on mountain top and flying around the valley will be possible.  I'm not sure I could build a nest large enough or that I would be comfortable killing small animals.  But...if I say it loud enough and demand that it's true - then surely it must be.  Hum...who said that originally - oh yeah - Hitler had a lot to say about faith and lies....

Check out Brainy Quotes

"If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed."

"It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge."
"It is not truth that matters, but victory. "
"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it. " 
Sounds familiar Adolf Hitler

It's like Abraham Lincoln said "Just because you say a dog's tail is a leg doesn't make it so!"

The sadness in all of this is not the stupidity of the adults - although that is important.  The sadness is the child.  Seven year olds don't have the social or mental capability to understand "who they are".  They are simply following the parents who are planting an idea.  This entire situation is a lie and in the process a life is ruined.  Children are followers and if you choose to lie to a child - he doesn't know the difference.  It's so sad that America has stooped so low that we now give in and allow our citizens to lie.  Without knowing and living by the truth - we will eventually become a nation of slaves.

God have mercy on us.
God loves you,

Debbie

Negative complaints can kill Holiday memories

As we approach the holidays I hear the same old complaints. Adults squash their child’s ability to find the positive in life by complaining about all the work that accompanies a good time. No matter where they live, what kind of home they have or what the finances are – children hope that maybe….just maybe….the holidays will be filled with a little spark of fun and a few moments of love and genuine happiness.


Even if the child has never had it before, even if there’s no hope of it happening – the tiniest spark of desire will be there. Maybe just maybe - there is a Santa. Maybe just maybe - there is a Jesus. Maybe just maybe - I’ll be excited or happy or loved – even if it’s just for the moment.

Crashing their hopes and dreams, Mom or Dad enters the room screaming about chores that must be done and how they hate the holidays because of all the work. Even in homes where holidays are celebrated and children are treated with respect – Mom often mutters under her breath until little Sally decides that Christmas isn’t a fun holiday after all.

Little feet dance with anticipation in the long line to see Santa, while mothers argue, fuss and pull at their children until seeing Santa is the end result of an exasperating trip. Children’s eyes are wide with excitement as they glance at the live trees on the lot. They smell the pine, crunch along the saw dust and imagine twinkling lights over large packages. Then Dad barks about how heavy the tree is or how much sap will be on the carpet and little eyes droop with the heaviness of fake holiday cheer. No wonder so many young adults would rather spend the holidays with their friends. The joy of a decorated house and loving family interactions has been replaced with bad attitudes and impossible goals.

You don’t have to come right out and stand against the holidays in order to destroy them. You can simply “complain” them to death.

“But Debbie, that’s not fair. I work like a dog during the holidays and I’m exhausted. Shouldn’t my family pay attention to me and allow me to vent a little?”

It’s difficult to suffer in silence. I know. I’ve done it many times. The question should not be what do you need – the question should be what is the goal? If you goal is to inspire your family to enjoy each other during the Holidays, then all the little snide remarks about greedy companies, selfish in-laws and demanding children does not support your goal.

If your goal is to bring your family together in peace and enjoy the time you have with them – negative thoughts, complaints and rants should not be allowed. If your goal is to have everyone bow at your feet because of the work you’ve done – then perhaps you need to draw up a contract that will produce a well thought out Thank You rather than simply voicing your complaints.

This year, rather than personally concentrating on the birth of Christ, perhaps parents should concentrate on the teachings of Christ. Philippians 2:14 is a great place to start.

“Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life – in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.”


Perhaps we need to ask ourselves if our children turn their backs on God because we presented his birth in such a negative light. Yes, we told them the story of the Nativity. Yes, we told them Jesus is the way the truth and the life. But did we also turn Thanksgiving and Christmas into such a flurry of negative comments that we not only turned them off on the holidays but we also turned them off on the love of Jesus?

God loves you,

Debbie

I hate it when people "settle"

I love all my clients and all my friends.  I really love my family and those I feel like are family. 

I try to give good advice and I'm very careful when counseling that I don't push too hard or crush any one's toes.

However....that said....I hate to settle for anything less than the "best for me".  That may not be the best for you...you have your own best.  I just can't fathom someone who knows they are settling but they just don't care any more.  It's as if they feel like they don't deserve the best or they are just too "tired or lazy" to try anymore.  NO...No...No...! 

The first place that anyone can go to begin the process of building your self esteem and becoming a better person - the first place to go is to insist that you are not going to settle for anything less than the best your life can be!  Don't settle for a spouse, don't settle in your job, don't settle in your dreams and for heaven's sake don't settle / give in / sell out - yourself.  Be the very best that you can be.

I've made a ton of mistakes and I've had to walk back to several crossroads and start over.  Each time I have I've re-committed myself to the highest standard.  I'm committed to racing for and reaching for the highest best for my life. 

Someone sent an e-mail full of pictures from Wall-mart.  Pictures that showed the worst that people can be.  Some of them were so bad that the only possible response was a guttural "that's disgusting".  Over all though, I felt pity.  Pity that those people were so starved for a little attention that they were willing to look their worst to be recognized.  They settled for disgusting looks because they were too lazy or too dysfunctional to work for and deserve a respectful look. 

I thought about the thousands of people all across this country that are buying into the settling routine.  They take their cues from pathetic shows like bridezillas.  For the sake of money producers trot out dysfunctional emotionally crippled people as if they are worthy of our attention.  Instead of getting help for an emotionally starved spoiled brat, producers exploit their dysfunction.  They promote their need for attention and provide a means for them to settle for negative attention.  Reality show participants don't stop to think that people are laughing at them, that they are being ridiculed and that they have settled for the worst form of bullying.

Instead of reality show adults pursuing their highest goal - being respected for their classy ways, their intelligence, their good looks - reality shows parade a host of dysfunctional ugly people in front of us that promote....."I'm pathetic but I'm settling because I'm either too lazy or too mixed up to work for anything better. 

It's so sad to me that people think so little of themselves.  It's refreshing to follow someone like Jackie Kennedy Onassis.  Whether I agree with all her opinions or not - you have to admit that she was well educated, extremely classy and the best she could be.  I like watching actors like Denzel Washington and others that strive to be the best they can be.  Even knowing that she didn't pick the right person the first time around - you have to admire a person like Princess Diana who worked hard to be the best she could be.

I hope you will spend a little time today asking the question - Am I settling?  Have I settled for a steady date that isn't going to help me be my best - just because I'm tired of trying?  Have I settled for a bad job just because I don't want to study and go for the good job?  Have I settled for friends that make me unhappy just because I don't want to find friends that will support me and push me to be my best? 

If I've settled in any area of my life....why am I settling and what can I do to change and be my very best!

So why do I hate it when people settle?  It's a waste.  It's a waste of a life, of a family, of a generation.  When you aren't your best - people around you suffer as well.  Don't waste your life.  Be your best.

God loves you,

Debbie

Nelson Mandela on education

A site on Linked In asked a question about education and helping special needs children.  I was intrigued by a quote from Nelson Mandela.  The writer said, "I agree with James' quote of Nelson Mandela: “Education is the most powerful weapon, which you can use to change the world.”

Here was my response.


While I understand where Nelson Mandela was coming from and what he was trying to accomplish, he was not correct when he said Education is the most powerful weapon. Yes, education is vitally important and no matter what condition a child deals with - education is probably #2 on the list. But if you really want to change the world or if you want to make a difference in your child's world - you must always start with parenting. A child's parent or caregiver determines the home environment that promotes the child's "view" of his world. Parents are the primary source that builds a child's thought process. Parents can either help teachers and education or they can destroy the child's desire to learn. Even when a teacher "thinks" he's won over a parents influence - when you follow that child down the road - years later you'll discover that a parent's influence remains a primary factor even if it's subconscious.


Why else do counselors and psychiatrists probe into your childhood and whether or not you love your parents? It's because we all know that true empowerment or lack of begins in that home. Even when an adult seems to have drastically changed his life and is nothing like his parents - he will often admit that their influence is still present in several areas of his life.

That's why I'm totally convinced that Parents are the only force in the world that can totally change a community, a country or even the world - in 20 years or less. We are raising the next generation and we will have an impact on thier beliefs - good or bad. If schools, civic groups, churches and other groups would start with the parent first and then branch out - they could literally change society.

I understand that this discussion is slanted for special needs children as well as the public school and their response to helping "all" children learn.  It still doesn't matter.  The condition of the child is not the issue.  There is a need, a bond and a God given purpose for the family.  There are dynamics between parent and child that simply can't be duplicated anywhere else.  What you do in your home does not stay there - it will follow your child his entire life - period!

God loves you,

Debbie

Mr. President....Mr. President

This great video doesn't need any comment.  Great job Ray Stevens!

Children raised in unchristian homes...

My Bible study group gave me a wonderful birthday celebration at my home last week.  As I looked around the room at the precious friends I was filled with love and complete admiration.

Admiration?  Most of them were raised in unchristian homes.  Many of them had to struggle to find salvation.  I am always awe struck by people who fight to find the saving power of Jesus. 

No...I'm not contradicting my last post.  I am so grateful for my Christian home and the care my parents took to help me find Jesus.  Yet, when I think about all the stories I've heard of how difficult it was to grow up in some unchristian homes - the abuse, the rejection, the hopeless feelings - all the problems those people faced and yet.....God reached out and grabbed the lost sheep.  He called to them and they responded.  He completely changed their lives. 

Well....my experiences may be safe and loving and comforting - but they don't hold a candle to someone who has fought evil and wrestled with satanic powers and emerged victorious!  That precious person deserves adoration.  That precious saint deserves to be applauded and given the stage. 

I hope that everyone reading this blog will realize how important it is to build a Christian home for your children.  They need to see the love of God in you.  It will help them avoid the sorrow and pain that so many children from unchristian homes have to endure.  But....and this is very important....when you survive and go on to find the love of Jesus "in spite of" an unchristian home - I believe you deserve Heaven's highest honor. 

It's kind of like being in the military.  I am very thankful that I did not grow up in a military home.  I would not respond well to someone else determining where I live and how I conduct the business of my home.  I would hate being forced to do what they want when I know it's not right for me.  I'm a freedom based person and would not want to give that away.  I'm not sure that it's good to ask small children to endure the hardships that the military imposes on their lives.  For that reason I am grateful that I avoided marriage with a military person. 

However, do I respect and honor every person in the military?  You bet.  Do I stop and clap when I see them in the mall or an airport.  You bet!  Have I stopped them from time to time just to shake their hands and say thank you.  Absolutely!

That's why if you had to struggle to find Jesus - if you grew up in a situation that made it hard for you to see his face but you continued to search for Him - I am so very proud of you.  I am humbled by you.  I admire you and wish I had a medal just for you. 

I believe when we get to heaven and God begins the task of handing out medals and crowns - I believe your crown will be bigger than mine and I will be so very proud of you!

In one of my Dad's sermons he challenged us to think differently about Heaven's rewards.  He asked, "Who do you think will receive more honors?  A woman who had a drunkard for a husband.  He made it difficult to feed and care for their children because he drank more than half of what he made.  She did what she could for all eight children.  She made things to sell and she made all their clothes.  She read the Bible to them and prayed for them.  They walked to church every Sunday morning knowing that if they didn't return fast enough and get dinner on the table - mom would be attacked.  Every child became a Christian and two went on to be ministers.  When this woman arrives in Heaven perhaps she will stand in line beside a well known evangelist.  He was raised in a Christian home, married a Christian woman and had a relatively quiet Christian life.  He traveled and preached to a lot of people.  He was treated with respect and honor.  Hundreds of people became Christians because of his work. 

If Heaven is where justice is applied and all is made right, who do you think will receive more honors?  I think the woman will.  Not that the evangelist did anything wrong.  He too will receive a crown and the joy of living forever with Jesus.  But he received a good chunk of his reward while here - she didn't.  I think Jesus will take her in his arms and swing her around.  He will do the dance of joy with her and be delighted that she followed Him and made it to Heaven.  I think at that moment every angel will fold their wings and every saint of Heaven will be excited.  I think everyone will understand that she earned her reward and she deserves it!

For all of you that have fought to find your salvation - I am so proud of you!  You inspire me!  Praise God for you!

God loves you,

Debbie

The Saving Power of Jesus Christ



Me and Dad
Biloxi, Mississippi

 Today is my birthday.  I woke with tears in my eyes.  No....it's not because I'm older.  I woke thinking about my long life with Jesus.  I cried because He is my dearest friend and not because he saved me from Hell.  I cried because he saved me from so much more.

I remember the Sunday night I sat on the front pew of my Dad's church when I was only six years old.  That night is still very fresh in my mind.  My little legs couldn't reach the floor but they swung in rhythm as mom and dad sang an upbeat song.  It was a warm night in Biloxi, Mississippi.  The windows were open and a soft breeze with a hint of ocean swept through the church.  Dad moved behind the pulpit to preach.  I don't remember what he said or even the topic of his sermon.  But I remember thinking about all the times my parents sat with me and told me about Jesus.  I thought about the Sunday school teachers that showed me pictures and told me about a man who would love me forever and would never leave my side. 

I remember my Dad talking about sin.  I knew I shouldn't lie and I knew I should obey my parents but sin meant very little to me.  Instead, I stared into the eyes of my Dad and I wanted to know the man he was talking about.  I wanted to be friends with a man who was as wonderful as my Dad said he was.  I pictured my mom and dad walking down a path with Jesus walking between them.  Yes, it was the simple Sunday school drawings of this Jesus....but for me, it was very real.

Then I saw it.  I saw the glistening eyes of my Dad.  My dad never cried.  It didn't matter what kind of pain it was - emotional or physical - my dad never cried.  He could make a joke out of any situation.  He could fuss about injustice and stupidity - but dad never cried.  That night, the tears didn't run down his face....but I saw not only the film of tears that he fought to contain - but also the deep understanding that everything he was saying about this friend of his was completely and totally true.  His depth of emotion connected with mine and all I wanted was to be friends with this Jesus.  I wanted to know what my parents knew.  I wanted Jesus to see me and to love me in the same way he loved my parents. 

When Dad gave the alter call I pushed off that uncomfortable wooden bench and joined several others at an old fashioned alter.  I knelt and folded my arms on the alter.  I laid my head on those little arms and began to cry.  At six-years old that's all I knew to do.  I didn't have sins to repent.  I didn't have dreams to ask for.  All I could think to say was, "Jesus please come into my life and love me.  I want to be your friend." 

I kept thinking what it would be like to know that this great man was my friend.  I desperately wanted to know that we would walk together, that he would take care of me and that all three of us - my parents and I would have this man as our friend.

My Dad put his arms around me and prayed a simple prayer.  My mother knelt beside me and walked me through the sinners prayer.  I did everything I was told, but none of it made me feel any different.  It was the emotions of knowing who Jesus was and the desperate need to "feel" his presence in my life that kept the tears rolling down my cheeks. 

The alter cleared and as always mother and dad stood at the back of the church shaking hands and talking with friends.  I returned to the front row seat and continued to cry.  I don't know why the tears wouldn't stop except that I was so desperate to know that Jesus and I had cemented our relationship.  Some people may criticize my tears or the fact that my parents allowed it to happen.  But I would not be the same person today if my parents had not allowed me to follow the sweet path of redemption.  For me those tears were a journey.  A journey that allowed an innocent little girl to commit her entire life to Jesus Christ.  I will always be grateful to my parents for introducing me to Jesus Christ.  I will always be grateful to the grandparents, aunts, uncles and various saints that supported my faith and shared their testimonies of God's love.

I remember Dad and the strong arms that lifted me off that old wooden bench.  I remember laying my head on his shoulder and crying.  I remember him stoking my back and telling me how glad he was that I knew his best friend.  I sat between mom and dad as we drove to a restaurant.  10 or 15 friends from church were waiting.  Dad sat at the head of the table.  I sat between him and mother. 

I didn't look around.  I still wasn't sure that Jesus had heard me.  I bowed my head and tears rolled down my cheek.  "Did you hear me Jesus?  I so want to be your friend."  Mother saw my tears and asked what was wrong.  I told her I just wanted to be saved.  I wanted Jesus to be my friend. 

She put her head close to mine and we prayed again.  She assured me that it was done.  That Jesus was not one to hold his love from anyone that wanted to know him. She smiled wide, patted my hand and kissed me on the cheek.  I heard the words.  I knew my mother wouldn't lie to me.  But I still didn't feel like it was done.  During the entire meal I swiped at tears.  I picked at my plate because it was too hard to swallow. 

The ride home was quiet.  I prepared for bed as I always had.  Mom and dad both knelt by my bed and prayed a sweet prayer with me.  They turned out the lights and left the room.  I lay in the dark and watched a flicker of light from the hallway.  Again the tears streamed down my face.  I thought about all the Sunday school stories I had heard, the songs about Jesus and the smiles from older people who had walked with him.  I closed my eyes as tight as I could, "Jesus please be my friend.  You can have every part of me.  You can have everything - all my toys - you can even have my dog.  I just want to be your friend."

It's impossible to explain what happens when love rushes into a heart and changes you forever.  I've been successful in business but it is a drop in comparison to feeling your heart burst with the love of Jesus.  I've been married and had three children but none of those joys compare with the overwhelming love of Jesus.   I've received awards.  I've experienced many exciting and wonderful emotions - but nothing....nothing I've ever experienced matches the moment that Jesus came rushing into my life.  Nothing can hold a candle to the overwhelming all consuming feeling I had when Jesus came into my heart.  That feeling has held on for 54 years.  It has guided me through every decision and every situation in my life.  He has never left me.  Even when I was in pain and screamed at him.  Even when I debated and fussed about his will.  Even when I was so distraught that I shook a fist at the sky and yelled, "Where are you!"  He never left me for a moment.  54 years later I love him more now than I ever have.

I worry about churches that promote the idea that becoming a friend of Jesus requires nothing more than repeating a statement.  I personally don't believe that's how it works.  If Jesus does not stir your emotions, he probably doesn't live in your heart.  Humans are always emotional about things that touch them.  I once knew a 6'3" man who never cried, never was especially nice and never showed emotions of any kind.  I saw that man hit his finger hard enough with a hammer to shatter the bone.  His jaw tightened but nothing more.  He wrapped it in a towel and continued to work. That rigid tower of strength was brought to his knees by a child.  His love of his daughter broke him.  And she finally led him to Jesus Christ who broke him further.   After his encounter with Jesus it seemed the entire world took on a new intensity.  He saw everything differently and everything touched him deeply.  He became even more powerful because he now could touch all people and all his emotions.  He was clearly a changed man. 

Beware of faiths that offer no power and no change.

Today I have served Jesus 54 years of my life.  I think too many people believe that the only reason to consider God or Jesus is to avoid Hell.  They think of Jesus as a one gift Savior.  I have been hurt by people who are jealous of the life I've had.  I was never molested.  I didn't live in a dysfunctional home - in fact my home was filled with love, peace and wonderful music.  I always knew I was totally loved.  I married my soul mate.  I had three wonderful children.  We avoided teen rebellion and they have grown to be remarkable adults.  I have great in-laws.  I have never been arrested.  And even though I can debate with the best of them, I don't scream or get into violent arguments and I don't hold grudges. 

For me....being friends with Jesus and understanding what he wants to do in everyone's life - has saved me from much more than Hell.  He saved me from experiencing the dark evils of this world.  He kept me from drugs, addictions, broken relationships, heartache, pain and sorrow.  Oh I have suffered!  No one gets out of this life scott free.  I've had my heart broken into a million pieces.  I have had times of complete despair.  I've been attacked both emotionally and physically.  I've been betrayed, and criticised and stomped.  I've been embarrassed and lonely.  I've been put down because I have a good life...go figure.  I'm dismissed as if doing something right makes me a freak in this life.  The reality is that I didn't do any of this on my own....it's all because of Jesus - yet I'm the one being rejected.  There have been times when I let my guard down and Satan was quick to flood my life with temptation.  I've been stupid and lost several of those battles - but when I realized I was drifting away, I called on my friend Jesus for the strength and I ran back into his arms. 

I worry and pray for those who are jealous of my life.  I would never hurt them or treat them differently because they didn't meet Jesus when they were young.  Instead, my only desire is to comfort them and to help them find the love that only Jesus can give.  I believe he can heal any life.  I believe Jesus can make all things new.  My only thought is to be part of God's plan to say...."You can have my life too.  That's what Jesus offers for everyone."

I've never understood this love affair with sin.  In fact, I've tried to study sin and it's affects on people.  Every sin the Bible warns about has only fleeting moments of fun or rewards.  The rest of the time it's full of pain and sorrow.  Why would anyone purposely choose pain and sorrow for their life?  It's illogical.  The consequences are always so full of pain and they last so long that I could never come up with a good enough reason to participate.  It's kind of like saying, I'll give you 20 milllion dollars.  You can buy anything you want with the money.  You can live like a king and no desire will be refused.  At the end of one year, we will have the right to cut off one arm and one leg.  It doesn't matter what we do with it - the cost for you receiving 20 million dollars is that you will lose one arm and one leg.  Why would anyone do that? 

How about 50 million dollars?  But at the end of three months we will kill your child and harvest their organs for others.  What????

That how I see sin.  Sin offers a lot of good stuff in the beginning but the following price tag is way too much!  The saving Power of Jesus Christ is that he says, "Stick close to me and there will be very few consequences.  I will teach you how to have the best life possible.  There are things you can't have or they will cost you pain....but  if you avoid those and stick close to me and my commandments you will have a great life. You will receive rewards that never end.  You will receive the most important things in life.  You will find true contentment and joy with your life.  Pure satisfaction will be yours.   And when others (no fault of your own) cause you pain or when accidents happen - I will be there to help you through it."

To me.....that sounds like a great deal!  A fantastic plan.  To me that's the best part of the Saving Power of Jesus Christ.  When I look beyond how wonderful He is...how much I love "who" He is and how fantastic it is to be near him......then I see this wonderful gift of a great life and I am amazed!  I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't want Jesus to swipe their life clean and start over - with Him as the architect prepared to create His personal design for their great life.

After 54 years of being a Christian I can testify that He has never let me down and Jesus has always been there.  You can trust Him and you can take it to the bank that He will never leave you nor forsake you. 

Jesus has always been my friend and the best thing in my life. 

If you want to know this wonderful man, please send me an e-mail.  Your life will never be the same.

God loves you,

Debbie

Childhood vaccinations

My parents and I have an ongoing debate about the safety of Nutra Sweet.  I "always" have an allergic reaction to any Aspartame and I can't use it at all.  I can't believe how many foods have aspartame in it.  Knowing that Nutra Sweet (aspartame) has traces of certain chemicals like formaldehyde, I've wondered if those chemicals (even at trace levels) can build up in our system and cause problems.  Medical issues that were rare in the 30's have marched to the forefront in today's society.  I'm not buying into the belief that it's just because we have access to more information and documented cases.  I think there are other factors. 

Most people think very little about the chemicals they ingest.  I believe our bodies are majestically and wonderfully made.  We are in complete balance.  It's when we offset the balance of our bodies that problems happen.  This goes wrong because we lack some vitamin.  That happens because we aren't getting the nutrients we need.  By the same token....when we ingest a chemical that changes our balance - we can suffer major problems.  Perhaps being diligent about the purity of the foods we eat and staying away from as many chemicals as possible is a better way to live. 

Don't get me wrong - I do not believe we should refuse to medicate our children when they have a severe flu or illness that will take their life if we don't agree to an antibiotic or medication.  When the illness is present you must use every measure possible to help your child!  What I'm talking about is allowing your child to consume massive amount of nutra sweet (aspartame) and hope that it is safe.  Why would you want to take a flu shot that might contain brain damaging mercury or MSG?  Why not choose a safer route? 

Many of you know that I'm going to be a grandmother.  Yeah!  My daughter called the other day and asked what I thought of flu shots while you are pregnant.  Red flags instantly waved in my brain.  First of all, pregnant women are cautioned not to use any drug.  They are encouraged to keep their lives as natural as possible.  Why then would you even consider a "chemical" flu shot?  Why take the chance?

I called Dr. Lazar and asked for his opinion.  He was furious and after a long talk promised to send more information.  We are going to have a vaccine event at his office in Ann Arbor, Michigan on September 24th.  If you live close, I hope you will attend. 

In the meantime, you can click over to my Mommy Detective blog and read my first post on Vaccinations.  This is a big issue and I would like to know what you think?

God loves you,

Debbie

Too much love may corrupt your child.

Ron and I had a wonderful evening together.  I fixed coconut cream pudding, coffee and we watched TV.  It's always nice being with Ron. 

We both were challenged by an old 1962 movie, The Miracle Worker.  It won two Oscars and 17 other awards and nominations.  It's a fantastic movie about Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan.  For those of you that don't know the story of Helen Keller, at 19 months she suffered "an acute congestion of the stomach and brain (probably scarlet fever) which left her deaf and blind.

Losing her hearing at such a young age kept her from doing more than making guttural sounds.  After Alexander Graham Bell suggested that her parents contact the Perkins Institute for the Blind, Annie Sullivan was sent to be her tutor.  Annie found her in a terrible state.  At age 9 she was a spoiled wreck.  She ate off every one's plate, pitched temper tantrums and had no respect for anyone or their possessions.  Annie fought to teach Helen outward discipline so she could also teach her the discipline needed in order to learn. 
I sat on the edge of my seat when Annie Sullivan was talking to the parents and said, "Mrs. Keller, I don't think Helen's greatest handicap is deafness or blindness. I think it's your love and pity. All these years you've felt so sorry for her you've kept her like a pet. Well, even a dog you housebreak."   

And later.... "Pity for this tyrant? Is there anything she wants she doesn't get? I'll tell you what I pity... that the sun won't rise and set for her all her life, and every day you're telling her it will. What you and your pity do will destroy her, Captain Keller."

To be fair, my mother has often said..."I guess I just love you too much."  We all understand the great love parents have for their children.  It's that love that carries us through the most difficult times.  But...when that love only gives out and never teaches the child to also give - love then becomes a method of corruption.  Real love will search for the "best" ways to help a child succeed.  Yes, we protect them from harm -but we refuse to protect them from life.  Parents who want the "best" for their child will fight for the right of the child to learn, to be unselfish, to have the discipline to achieve.  Without fighting for those rights for your child --- you condemn them to a life of overindulgence, depression, loneliness and pain. 

After convincing them that she needed two weeks in a nearby cabin - alone with Helen, she was able to break the spoiled nature and help Helen see what discipline would do for her life.  At one point James, Helen's brother was talking to Annie at the cabin window.  Tears came to my eyes when he said... 
 
"Sooner or later we all give up, don't we?"  (He was trying to convince Annie to give up on Helen.)
 
Annie:  "Maybe you all do, but it's my idea of the original sin."
 
James:  "What is?"
 
Annie:  "Giving Up!"
 
 
Annie saw something in Helen that she felt was worth fighting for.  She saw her potential if only she could get through to her.  Annie believed in Helen when her parents didn't.  Her parents only saw Helen as a deformed child, a weakling, a child to be pitied.  Imagine what Helen's life would have been like if Annie hadn't believed in her.

I see this problem all the time.  Parents, teachers, governments, philosophies....everyone wanting to look like a saint and touting "I care"..."I love them so much".  They build elaborate philosophies or programs that give, give, give and ask for nothing in return.  They feed or give to people until they are lazy, overweight, weak, spoiled individuals who don't have a clue about how to have a successful life.  In their warped minds being rich or having everything they want equals some sort of life. 

As we celebrate Labor Day today, I hope someone will join me on the stage and be proud of the entrepreneur, the hard worker, the intelligent, the strict mom and the overachiever!  I'm sick to death of promoting the lazy, spoiled, overindulgent.  It doesn't matter if it's a reality so called star or if it's a lazy person who is capable of work but chooses to take welfare instead.  I don't care if it's a wealthy star or a single mom -if they require nothing of their child - it's wrong.  Like Annie Sullivan, I believe the spoiled life is torturous and as far as I'm concerned it's the worse form of child abuse!

Proper discipline isn't without compassion!  Compassion, understanding and a generous heart should exist in every one's life.  If that compassion or love interferes with determination, hard work, achievement or social graces - then your love and compassion will corrupt the soul.
 
The best thing we can do for ourselves and for our children is to insist that the only honorable life is one filled with hard work, intelligence and determination!  Even when you make it to the top, there is still more work to do.  If you are privileged enough to have a lot of money - then get busy working to set up businesses so others can work.  Don't selfishly blow $500,000 on a wedding that won't be remembered 5 years down the road.  Don't selfishly blow $50,000 on some classic car to collect dust in your garage or another $1,500 on one meal.  Instead use your talents and your money for good.  Get a life!  Going on TV and acting like a spoiled brat, cussing at everyone and thinking the sun rises and set on you....isn't a life.  Get busy and do something important with your life.  Fussing about who kissed who or whose going to go out with you is just stupidity - and unfortunately teaches impressionable teens to be just as spoiled as you are.  The same goes for the average family.  If you are promoting spoiled behavior within your family - you doom your children to a life of sorrow.
 
Sorry....there are several things I get really fired up about.  Laziness and spoiled behavior ranks near the top with stupidity following close behind.  
 
So what happened to Helen Keller once she learned a little discipline?  She finished school and graduated from the prestigious Radcliffe College - cum laude - in 1904.  She spent 25 years struggling to learn to speak so others could understand her.  She remained close to Annie for 49 years.  Unfortunately, Annie married a socialist and that influenced Helen politically (so sad).  But...you can't deny the great accomplishments she achieved. 
 
During her lifetime, she received many honors in recognition of her accomplishments including the Theodore Roosevelt Distinguished Service Medal in 1936, the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1964, and election to the Women's Hall of Fame in 1965. She received honorary doctoral degrees from Temple University and Harvard University and from the universities of Glasgow, Scotland; Berlin, Germany; Delhi, India; and Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa. She was also an Honorary Fellow of the Educational Institute of Scotland.  She mastered five languages and wrote 12 books.
 
It is truly amazing what an individual can do when they refuse to give up, when they are determined to work hard and when they are committed to making a difference in their world!
 
Have a wonderful Labor Day,
 
God loves you,
 
Debbie

Fun thoughts to ponder

Darlene's Daily

~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''

The greatest use of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.

~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''

The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian.  One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"Do you require his services as sheriff or a vet?" the wife asked.

"Both." the caller replied?  "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store or under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.

- Cindy Lew

~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''

THE YELLOW LIGHT

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him.

I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car.''
~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`

How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it. - G. Elliston

~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*
In the Army during Operation Desert Storm, I found myself in a world that had changed little since Biblical times. With so few creature comforts available, packages from home containing cookies and canned goods were received with great anticipation.

When I got a box from my sister, I happily tore into it, only to discover just how far from home I really was. She had filled it with packages of microwave popcorn.

~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`~'''*`


Thanks Darlene for this fun filled page!  I hope the Yellow Light will make us all think twice before doing anything "that Jesus wouldn't do" :)

God Loves You,

Debbie

Can America's children be successful in school?

I am frustrated with professionals that think huge problems can be solved with a specialized approach.  In other words addressing one side of a problem somehow makes all the other sides fall into place.
As a Mommy Detective - and hopefully a relatively smart individual - I understand that our lives are complicated.  That means that our actions are often based on an array of circumstances and variables.  We respond to our world because of the hundreds of interactions in our lives.  Something that happened in grammar school is compounded by a host of other issues that build on the first.  As the problem forms layers, the original issue is masked.  As issue upon issue develops, we begin to respond to our world in a negative way.  Like the layers of an onion, it's hard to tell where one layer ends and the next begins.  It's important to always remember however, that no action is ever based on one circumstance.  We are complicated creatures.

We are constantly being changed by our environment and our relationships.  We find insight and change because of something we read, hear or view.  Most problems can't be solved by changing one situation or interaction in our lives.  Most problems are caused by and must be solved with multiple changes.

For that reason, I get upset when some new author or professional wants to announce to the world that if we changed just one thing - crime would go away, children would be smarter and the economy would grow.

In order to cause real change, we must look at all the issues - not just one.  For example, I watched Michelle Rhee on Fox news this morning (at least until the power went out).  To give her credit, she is a very smart person and knows a lot about education.  She is extremely upset about teachers vs. the reading and math scores of children across this nation. 

I agree that some people choose teaching just for the benefits, money and summer vacations.  But, I also think there are a lot of teachers who are dedicated to their jobs and will do anything necessary to promote the success of their students.  Ms. Rhee agrees with that statement. 

While you can't ignore bad teaching - you can't put the entire blame in that one area.  There are other reasons our children are not succeeding in school.  Ms. Rhee also agrees but continues to come back to the one area of ineffective teachers.  Consider the following....

1.  Parents are not involved in their child's education.  They turn their child over to a school and hope for the best.  With both parents working, time scheduled for every sporting event possible, music and art lessons and multiple chances to socialize - there's no time left for Mom and Dad to get involved in the Academics of their child?

2.  Parents, media and social groups do not promote the desire to be smart.  I hate movies like Dumb and Dumber, all reality shows and most radio talk shows.  They promote the underlying theme that it's more acceptable to be angry, stupid, out of control and a sexual pervert.  They look down on the hard working kid who makes straight A's, wants a virtuous relationship, hopes to marry for love...not just sexual attraction... and plans to work to make this world better.  Instead their vocabulary is incredibly small and the only way they can express their feelings is with cuss words.  (Unfortunately too many parents are infected with this stupidity disease)  They don't promote character but instead center solely on money and things.  Their self-esteem is not based on intelligence, wisdom or solid relationships so they strive for fleeting moments of praise based on looks or anger rather than on real worth.  They think it's smarter to take the easy road to fame rather than the dedicated road to a life of honor.  They would rather act like an idiot for the camera than be smart in designing a good life.  Fun for them is anything that gets attention instead of gaining proper attention for doing something worthwhile.  And then we wonder why children are depressed or having a hard time fitting in..duh!

With these mentally destroying subversive actions being promoted 24/7 by the media and outside sources to our children - it's a wonder any child chooses the path of knowledge and wisdom.  Most parents allow their children to idolize dysfunctional stars rather than promote a healthy self-esteem.  Without good role models...why would a teen want to study?

3.  Socially our children are being taught to strive for the "stun gun" rather than for intelligence.  The "stun gun" approach is anything that you choose to stun those around you - and take their attention away from judging your capabilities.  Instead of striving to be recognized for their abilities most children would rather have the fleeting praise for some outfit, piercing or bad behavior.  When we allow our children to go for the stun gun approach, we eliminate their desire for worthy based praise.  When we eliminate personal competition, we eliminate the drive to achieve higher goals.

4.  It amazes me that parents allow their children to "skip" over the logic of life.  For example, we allow them to follow fads and think  it's an expression of who they are.  Baloney!  Fads drive children to be one of the crowd....to fit in....to be the same....to walk like zombies and leave their looks in the hands of greedy designers.  There is a difference between "class" and "fad".  Fads usually don't make you look good.  Fads are based on greed.  When a person has more than enough clothes to look his best - designers come out with some new "fad" hoping to force you into spending more money.  Fads are never about making you look good.  Fads are about dipping into your pocket.  Thank God for the parent or child that says - "I'd rather have control over how I look and save my money so I can buy a new car.  I'm not going to spend my money on clothes that aren't flattering so some actor mogul can waste my hard earned money on himself.

Real class on the other hand is a way of dressing so that you look your best.  It's individualistic and will play down your body's negatives and highlight your body's positives.  Looking like a bum will cause you to act and study like a bum.  Looking like a well dressed high achiever will help you psychologically strive to do better.  Duh!

Our children should be taught to strive for wisdom, intelligence, class and an independence that refuses to let CEO's determine how to spend their paychecks.  Instead we are raising children that are like stupid little sheep being lead around by actors, designers and reality stars who don't have enough talent to fight their way out of a paper bag.  We allow them to teach our children to be angry, selfish and lazy.  They spend more time thinking about sex than their own future and don't see that they are trading real success for fleeting attention.

4.  Parents are not teaching their children common sense.  Children instead are allowed to act as if nothing matters but their desires - and they don't have the ability to put the entire picture together.   For example, because some high school drop out rapper (I think I'm an artist but I'm really not) doesn't have the intelligence to pick out clothes that fit - our teens blindly follow his lead.  Don't they realize that no intelligent person is going to take them seriously when they can't even figure out their body size?  What employer is going to hire someone that can only use one hand because the other one has to hold his pants up?  Who wants to hire someone that doesn't have the intelligence to understand and purchase a belt so both hands can work? 

5.  Manners are an extremely important educational tool.  Manners teach discipline.  Discipline determines your ability to follow through a project, to sit still and listen, to understand consequences and problem solving - manners are vital to your child's success in school.  Show me a child that can't say Please, thank you or I'm sorry - and I'll show you a child that has some type of problem in school.

I've actually talked with teens who insisted they had to follow the fad of bad clothes, greasy unkempt hair, bad language, poor manners and bad grades.  They fussed with me about how important it was to fit in, be accepted and try to be popular.  It's so sad when years later they knock on my door to see if I can provide answers for their lives.  At 30 they cry on my shoulder and wish they had their youth back.  "I'm working a dead end job because I was too stupid to use my school time wisely.  I've wasted my life and now that I have a child it's even harder to try to repair the damage I've done.  What am I going to do now?  Why didn't my parents love me enough to say no?"

Sad...so sad....:(

I'm one of those terrible tough parents who required my children to think about their actions and their futures.  One by one each child has thanked me for forcing them to stay on the road to success.  A parents paycheck often doesn't arrive until a child is 30 or even 40.

Education does not have a one cannon fix.  If we want our society to do better and our children to actually learn - we better look at the social issues that are impacting our children.  We need to change the entire focus of this new generation in order to make a real impact on their future success.

I'm currently reading The Essential 55 by Ron Clark.  I encourage all parents to take a look at this book.  It will give you a great place to start your child on the road to education and success.

God loves you,

Debbie

Interview with Debbie - Are there solutions to every problem? #2

Are there solutions to every problem? #2

While I believe that God has an answer for every problem, I also believe that we often walk away from problems that could be handled if we were committed to the work.  Don't get me wrong...I think that we should pray about all our problems and we should allow God to be 100% involved.  But I also think that sometimes we can answer our own prayers if we are willing to work on it and willing to consider all the clues.  Let's look at some examples.

Let's take a newlywed couple that's fighting over money.  Is it really something to fight about?  Shouldn't it be more of a math problem.  Maybe each person should be willing to give 100% to make the bottom line come out in the black.  Instead, they fill every moment with negative thoughts about not getting what they want out of the situation.  They point the finger at someone else without considering that there are some changes they could make. 

I've heard some pretty awful statements about children.  "My child is a brat."  "I don't know why I ever thought having children was the right thing to do."  "I don't wish them harm....but I'm sick of my kids.  I need a break."   Without realizing it, these parents have subconsciously given up.  They are complaining rather than problem solving. 

Yes...I personally believe that every problem in life has a solution.  No....you can't magically change a handicapped child into a mentally perfect child; but...you can find ways to make the journey with that child pleasant.  No, you can't make a full bankruptcy go away as if it never happened.  You can work on a plan and get your financial house in better condition.  Even when it seems like your relationship with an old friend will never be repaired, you're willingness to continue to be nice may finally break a frozen heart.

If you want a better life, the first thing you have to do is change your own attitude.  Be determined to find answers to your problems even if it means hard work, a different attitude and an idea that's outside the box.  Be willing to change and you'll always come out on top.

God loves you,

Debbie

Interview with Debbie - Are there solutions to every problem?

Do you really believe there are answers for every problem?


Yes, of course I do. I feel that way because I’m a Christian and I believe that God is all knowing and all powerful. What does it say about God if he made the world and all inhabitants but he doesn’t have answers for our problems and doesn’t want to be involved?

Thinking that God is not involved in our lives or that he doesn’t have answers reduces God to a simple creative artist. It takes away his power. I believe God always answers our prayers but he may not give us the answer we want.  He might say one of four things.

1. No
2. Yes
3. Not until you are ready
4. Not until someone else is ready

I’m sure that some folks who have been hit with terrible tragedies feel as though God could have intervened or maybe they are mad that it happened in the first place. That’s a hard pill to swallow unless you look at the facts.

God can be all powerful and ready to help you and give you a good life….but your actions or the actions of those around you - can throw negative forces in the mix that change the dynamics of the situation.

God may also have a marvelous plan for you, but if you stomp your foot and shake your fist at him in defiance refusing to follow the plan – it may not materialize.

God might then go to work to develop a new plan…a plan that will get you out of the mess you are in, but no matter how much information he sends your way…if you aren’t listening how can He help you? Like a little two-year old in a mall and on the run….no matter how much God calls you and demands that you come back, you keep running.

Sometimes God says No because he knows there's something better coming at a later date. 
It’s important to remember that even though God is loving and does all He can to help us…He ultimately works through us. Our participation in His plan is a key element of success.

There are also times when God demands that we use our brain.  He expects us to study hard, be careful to make good decisions and use His instructions to be wise.
Of course there are times when we are simply victims. We didn’t do anything to cause the problem and like Job there’s not a lot we can do to get out of the problem. Car accidents, abductions, rapes, evil men and women and yes….even some Christians can create true victims that have little power over the situation they are in. That’s when the rest of us must be compassionate and allow God to use us to bring about a God inspired solution to other people's problems. To me, the greatest sin of all is when God asks us to be involved in a solution for someone else and we refuse.  While our faith does ask "everyone" to work as hard as they can on their own problems....our faith is also based on compassion and love.

Again, if we as by-standers listen to God’s gentle voice, become A+ biblical students and dedicate our lives to living for Him; we can be part of the solution to the majority of problems in our lives and others as well. 

God loves you,


Debbie

What a fantastic month I've had!!!

July/August 2011 is one of those times I'll look back on and laugh about.  It has been a wild ride and I'm loving every minute of it.

The first of July I made a trip to Georgia to visit with my folks.  We had a great time!  We had a lovely 79th birthday party for my Dad.  Mom is 83 and seeing them together, visiting in their home, talking about all the great times we've had - sigh :)  it was great!

I met with my agent's assistant while I was there.  She participated in the 2011 International Christian Retailers Show held in Atlanta.  I held my breath and prayed for God's guidance when she explained that the producer for a well known nationwide radio show was interested in me as a guest.  I was thrilled but prayed all the way home that God would be my focus and that he would guide my steps.

I left Mom and Dad's and drove to Nashville.  My new agent provided a fantastic hotel room in the heart of the music district.  I met with Rebeca Seitz (my agent), Steve Feldman (3 time Hollywood Emmy winner) and their assistant Jessica Dotta.  We talked for several hours.  Steve made me feel so comfortable that I didn't even pay attention to the large camera he was holding.  I have two pages of projects to complete ASAP.  I hope you will click over and take a look at the agency Reclaim Management.  They have the wonderful vision of taking great stories through the entire process.  They not only represent the author but they take care of the author.  And if the project is worthy, they plan to move it through all points of digital media as well as on the big screen.  It's a big vision but one that needs to be realized.  I hope you will pray for every one at Reclaim, for all the artist and for God's help with funding.

You can be part of their vision.  They have a program where you can donate the price of one movie to their cause.  That small donation will build with others to provide the funding for great movies with a traditional conservative view.  If you would like to see better movies being offered then join with them and help fund great movies for everyone!  You can write or call the agency for more details.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that I needed to accomplish, I talked my way back to Ohio.  Well...I dictated a lot of notes into my phone.  I would like to have plunged right in, but after two days of catching up with Ron, doing laundry and getting ready to go again - I gave Ron a kiss and headed for Michigan. 

In Michigan Jamie took commercial pictures for Dr. Lazar.  He's a talented doctor.  He's helping Jamie and I get our physical lives in order.  I'll tell you more about him later.  I also talked with him about doing a seminar in Ann Arbor. 

Next Jamie and I scurried to Chicago.  I met with my editor, Ginger Kolbaba of Marriage Partnership and Kyria.com.  We had a great time together.  Ginger is a wonderful young lady and the dearest of friends.  In fact, I love all the workers at Kyria.  They are talented, dedicated women who are working hard to help equip their readers.  You must click over to Kyria.com and check it out.  You can subscribe to an online digizine (which is wonderful) or read some articles for free.  You can also download these awesome resources for almost any meeting you can think of.  It's a fantastic website!  Be sure and search for my name so you can my articles. ;)

Ginger suggested several writing assignments and I have a ton of notes on articles to come!  I hope you will at least sign up for the Kyria newsletter so you'll be informed when my articles post.

We left Chicago and traveled to Iowa to be with the Jansen clan while Jamie did Senior pictures for cousins.  Then it was back home.  I had 36 hours to prop my feet up and catch my breath before Amie arrived.  She was a bit tired from her 16 hour trip from Tucson, Arizona, but she had big news....SHE HAD REALLY BIG NEWS.....On or about March 31st, I'm going to be a grandma!  Wow!  How cool is that???  Amie was here for a week.  We shopped and registered and giggled and talked.  It was a great time.

What a fantastic month!  But now it's time to get down to business.  It will take me a bit to get everything organized, changed, tweaked and out the door for you....but, I hope you'll stay tuned.  There's a lot of exciting things to come.

God loves you,

Debbie

We are born with a need to be loved and we never outgrow it!

When my children were born the viewing window displayed a worn piece of paper.  In bold letters it said, "Every child is born with a need for love....and they never outgrow it!" 

That statement embodies the foundation for all our self-esteem.  No matter how hard an individual tries, they will never be able to stand totally and completely alone.  They can boast about it and announce they don't care what the world says.....but the truth is that we all care.  We all want to be liked even when we are fighting big issues and driving a large program like say....Governor Christie.  He appears to be tough as nails - and he is a tough politician.  Great!  But I bet he goes home at night to a very strong family who is waiting with open arms to embrace him and give him the love and support he needs.

In my minds eye I see people like Governor Christie, Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, Billy Graham - I see them all standing on a platform - alone.  It looks like they are out there facing the world - alone.  But if you lift the skirt around the podium, you'll see 50 people standing beneath the podium.  They are the pillars that are holding up his platform.  They are the ones that feed his need to be loved and supported.  They are the ones that help him dodge the stones being thrown at him.  They are the ones that help him decide everyday to get back on the platform and do the right thing.

When a person is void of loving supporters who understand the mission, understand the life, support the goals and overwhelmingly support the individual - that person can't succeed.  That person will become dysfunctional.  That person will not be able to heal after an attack and will eventually crash and burn. 

WE ALL NEED LOVE AND SUPPORT. 

But I'm a nobody Debbie.  I just go to work and do my job and come home to pet my dog.  Why would I need anyone?

You need just as much support as the man on the firing line.  You need to know that your life matters.  You need to know that you are loved and valued as a human.  You need to be connected to others in this world in order to feel that you have a life.  So...get out there and make some friends.  Reconnect with your family. 

How?

The best way to receive love is to genuinely give it.  And the best way to do that is to see the good in others.  When you see something that makes you smile or that you enjoy about another person - TELL THEM!  Don't hold back. 

For example, if your boss comes in dressed really nice, what do you do?  Most people think "Oh that's nice." but wouldn't dare say anything.  How silly!  Everyone loves a compliment.  It's not brown nosing to let someone know they reached a goal.  Everyday we get dressed and go out into society - our goal is to look nice...to be beautiful.  Don't go overboard and act like she just won Miss America.  Make it a simple compliment of - "Nice dress." as you turn to go back to what you were doing.  That kind of compliment can make a person's day.  It will leave both of you feeling good.  You will know you helped her to feel good about her choice and her day will be better knowing she has been recognized. 

When the mail gopher drops by your desk with a ton of mail for you, why not say, "Thanks John.  Oh, and by the way - I've watched how committed you are to your job and to making sure the deliveries are on time.  Thanks.  I appreciate it."  That's all you have to say to make his day.

My wonderful friend Pat Sanders sent me a great e-mail today.  I hope you enjoy the following story.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.  She told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment. Over the weekend, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much."

No one ever mentioned those papers again.. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose.. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to view her student.  One of the soldiers moved beside her and whispered, "Were you Mark's math teacher?"
She wiped a tear and nodded yes. The soldier stared into the coffin.  "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, the teacher attended a luncheon and sat with Mark's parents and classmates.  His father smiled at the teacher.  "We want to show you something."  He took a wallet out of his pocket.  "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher recognized the paper as the list containing good things about Mark.

Mark's mother wiped her eyes.  "Thank you so much for doing that.  Mark treasured it." All of Mark's former classmates gathered around the teacher. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said smiled, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."  Vicki, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times." She quickly added, "I think we all saved our lists."
The teacher broke and cried.  She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. She cried thanking God that she had done something to help her students feel loved.  She cried knowing that their lives had been changed because of a simple act of love. 

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Good story Pat, thank you!  I hope you will spread a little love and appreciation today!

God loves you,

Debbie