Thursday, June 12, 2008

Is your home a house of horrors?

We can teach our children without being mean or critical. No one learns when being nagged or yelled at.

Let's take a cue from the educational system. In it's beginning teachers were known for walking around a classroom with a ruler in hand ready to snap the knuckles of an unruly child.

If you gave the wrong answer....snap - snap

Not paying attention....snap - snap

Talking to a friend....snap - snap

Can't recite....snap - snap


We are wiser now. Walk into a present day classroom and you feel like you are entering another world. Colorful pictures and posters walk around the wall. Different play stations lay in wait calling to each child to come play math games, word games and science experiments.

Parents are responsible for training. There are a multitude of daily instructions we need to give our children as we train them to take care of hygiene and chores. Until they unconsciously do the normal things we require, we feel compelled to remind, fuss, point out and demand. In our frustrated busy lives we often add criticism to the list.

When our child begins to rebel because of the constant barrage of insults and instructions, most parents step it up a notch until the problems escalate into a real war.

Take a tip from the educational system. Make your home a place of fun games. Find ways to take your most difficult issues and transform them into pleasant adventures. The first one to the breakfast table with a completed list receives a bonus in his allowance or a special cup to drink out of. Write and sing a song about clean hands, nails, faces and teeth. Sing it with your child to check to see that the job is done and of course, end the song with a tickle under the arms.

See how many chores you can turn into a game and watch your family go from a house of horrors to a fun ride at Disney World.

God loves you,


Debbie

Monday, June 9, 2008

Sometimes parenting is what you "DON'T" do...

Sometimes good parenting isn't what you do....sometimes it's more important what you DON'T do.

Let's tweak a statement from Jeff Foxworthy.

You might be a great parent if you.....
DON'T Embarrass your children. It is possible to discipline without embarrassment.

You might be a great parent if you.....
DON'T yell orders at your children in front of their friends. You don't want to be known as the mean Mom.

You might be a great parent if you.....
AREN'T overly critical. It's been proven that it takes 10 compliments to wipe out just one critical statement.

You might be a great parent if you.....
DON'T play favorites. There will be times when you have a day that centers around one child, but you should make sure you even it out later.

You might be a great parent if you.....
DON'T label your child. Give your children a chance to overcome any mistake they make. Don't label them as dishonest or overly sensitive or even uninterested in family. Instead be positive and creative in finding ways to help them overcome their problems.

You might be a great parent if you.....
DON'T jump to conclusions. Believe the best of your children. When a situation comes up don't jump to the conclusion that your child is being his worst even if he is exhibiting poor behavior.

You might be a great parent if you.....
DON'T force your child to be a carbon copy of you. Allow him to have his own tastes, likes and dislikes. Instruct him on the problems he will encounter if he chooses to like destructive behavior, but do allow him to like cold over hot or contemporary over classic.

Like Jeff Foxworthy....there are many more things "NOT" to do.

Above all have fun with your children and treat them as kind as you would your friends.

God loves you,

Debbie

What is a parent?

The question seems simple enough and yet your answer will determine the success of your skills.

What is a parent? An older human that provides care for an infant.

Hum...the scientific approach. Let's think for a moment about what type of parent that person would be. A scientist would provide necessary care like food, clothes and a charted amount of cuddling. Perhaps he would be more concerned about providing what's required instead of giving from a heart bursting with love.

What is a parent? An educator for the young.

Hum...the uninvolved teacher. Perhaps this person would push the child to read and to learn. Be your best! Push hard! Study and you will be fine. Know everything and you will succeed.

What is a parent? A preacher that will lead my child to Christ.

Hum...the evangelist that believes only in the spirit world and not in the real world. This person doesn't appreciate normalcy in life. Every day is Sunday and only events pertaining to faith are important.

What is a parent? A parent should have a happy home.

Hum...the event coordinator. This person doesn't believe in allowing a child to experience life but only to experience good times. In this home "no" is a cuss word and "discipline" is for everyone else.

What is a parent? A parent should give everything for their child.

Hum...the banker. This person will burn out quickly and will secretly resent the selfish child that grows in their home.

Okay Debbie! We get what you are saying...so what do you think a parent is?

A parent has a little of each of the above but overall a parent is a guide. It's our job to explain the world to our children and that means that we have to understand it first. We have to know why things happen like they do so we can logically explain all the "whys" to our children.

Young people seem to have such a hard time with relationships and depression. If you have turned your job as guide over to television, movies, educational systems and peers - you will give your child a confusing, untruthful and miserable set of guides. Even our churches should not be saddled with the training of our children. Churches should provide spiritual guidance and inspiration not parenting.

After accepting the role of guide - your job description also includes the goal of working yourself out of a job. You are preparing your child to take over this world. You are preparing your child to make a difference in his life and in society as well.

Every time you watch your child or hear about something he's doing, ask yourself - "What is my role as parent for this situation? What should my response be so this situation will help my child in the future? How can I use this situation to help my child grow into a responsible adult?"

REMEMBER: Every time you interact with your child you are changing the future! You can make this a better world by how you respond.

God bless you for your work!

God loves you,

Debbie

Saturday, June 7, 2008

An open door to this child's heart

"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee."
Psalms 119:11


One of the greatest things you can do is to teach your child to respect the word of God and to respect classical music. Contemporary music may be fun and exciting, but classical music or hymns will instill much more theology and scripture. It's also been proven that listening to classical music will improve your child's math scores.

I love all the songs by this sweet child as well as other You Tube uploads by children who are learning God's word.

Learning scripture and Christian songs won't save your child if you neglect other important parenting issues, but it will support good parenting.

If it's important to you, it will be important to your child. As long as you make it fun and don't push, if you have a passion for good music and learning scripture - so will your child.

Sing it in the car, play it on the radio and dance around the house. Your child will want to join in and you will have an open door to his heart.

I hope you enjoy this precious child.




God loves you,

Debbie

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Can America change?

I have listened to a lot of political rhetoric about change. "Follow me and I will change everything," yells one opponent. "Follow me and I will change some things," announces another. "I am the best person for the job because I stand firm for change,"argues yet another candidate.

I have some questions about change. If we are in such a mess that everything needs changing, isn't it important to discover how we got here? After all, we don't want to change everything and then find out that we've traded one mess for another one. Shouldn't we take a close look at why we feel like our lives need change?

The biggest problem according to our politicians is that Washington needs change. All these politicians that are supposed to be serving our interests are corrupt. Again my question is why? When a politician ran declaring he wanted to serve - why would he think it's okay to take bribes and to make laws that will ultimately hurt the innocent or the religious? How can a person run for office and say, "I'm making laws for you that I will never obey." How can a person with a heart as black as night lie through his teeth and say, "I'm the man for the job. I care about you."

I don't understand how judges in California can look at the people they swore to protect and announce - "I'm going to change the constitution. I will do what I want - not the will of the majority."

Why does Washington and all politicians need change? Because there is a lack of integrity in the personal lives of those who choose to serve.

A personal life will always influence the decisions of the public life. An evil man is incapable of understanding moral dedication. When politicians lack honesty it will impact their ability to make good decisions both personally and publicly. Washington is riddled with a lack of commitment and dedication to the goal of "helping" and serving their country.

You are voting for a lie when

a politician's personal life does not

match his public statements.

What I see lacking in this race for the White House is an honest "true" desire to lead. They may give a doosey speech, but it still leaves me cold. Why? Because their actions prove otherwise. If candidates are committed to service, why is it so hard to work together for the common good? People with a true desire for the common good have no problem banding together.

Just let some tragedy happen - perhaps a child is trapped under the rubble from a tornado. There won't be a committee meeting with both sides arguing about which shovel to use. Blacks, whites, democrats, republicans, atheists and Pentecostals will all dig with their hands if necessary to save the baby. Where is that kind of commitment in Washington? Seeing opposites working together for our good would make you sit up and take notice wouldn't it?

Each candidate could do that. They probably won't. Why? Their motive isn't to serve. Their motive is for power. Anyone that spends millions on an election to win a job that will pay less per year than the first campaign ad is not thinking about service. Think of the people who would be served if all the millions of dollars spent on the three campaigns were put in a pot and then distributed to the poor.

Our candidates are running for the power. A love of power will always create corrupt behavior. These candidates each want a claim to fame and to be a part of history. With that kind of motive, how can this country ever change?

Besides.....who ever said that politicians should change my life? My life is what I make it. I am responsible for my life and if I turn that responsibility over to someone else, I've just lost all my freedoms.

Hold on dear friend, don't get discouraged.

There is a solution and it is attainable!

America does need change, but not just in Washington. Problems began to escalate in this country when we allowed the spoiled child to take over his family and ultimately public office. Our problems began when we placed more value on fame and money than on integrity and sacrifice. Our problems spun out of control when we decided to sit on our lazy behinds and wait for a new law that would magically give us all our wants and needs. The moment we denied our own inspiration in favor of the give me - give me now philosophy, we turned into corrupt city and bought a condo.

We need to return to the hard working level headed, dedicated, strong mass of people that brought this country through WWII and lead us through a depression and into prosperity.

We are the power of change. We the people. More explicitly We the Parent. Parents are our greatest resource for change. The leaders throughout the history of this country have definitely played a part in our success, but it's the integrity of the normal Joe and the way he raises his family that rumbles and stirs up the base for change. I love the old movie "Meet John Doe" with Gary Cooper. Frank Capra shows how easily a country can change when the normal guy is inspired.

Change never trickles down. Change like old faithful bubbles and boils deep within. It works it's magic and prepares for the day when it will burst forth as an unstoppable tidal wave consuming everything in it's path. America desperately needs an army of parents who refuse to raise spoiled violent selfish children deciding instead to instill morals, faith, kindness and a desire to work diligently for a better tomorrow.

America desperately needs an army of parents
determined to change our society
one child at a time -
one school at a time -
one church at a time -
one state at a time.

We need men and women in office that are committed to doing what's right regardless of public opinion. We need strong men and women in office that aren't concerned about speeches and rhetoric that makes promises without substance knowing they will never be achievable. We need men and women who will roll up their sleeves, turn a deaf ear to the press and are prepared to fight for the country our forefathers envisioned. A country of honesty, integrity, faith in God and faith in family. A country that is safe and will not tolerate evil no matter what disguise it uses. A country that is tired of being told to twist our constitution so that it serves the needs of the wicked and punishes the kind and hard working.

Where do we find this group of men and women? Where is the next governing force that will bring us back to our moral roots while preserving our modern day conveniences?

He lives in your home....She skips through your yard. It's all about you dear parent. It's all about what you instill in your children. Who can change the world? YOU CAN!

You have the power to raise a Hitler or a Lincoln. You have the power to raise a Mother Teresa or a Brittany Speers.

It's not about the past mistakes you've made.

It's not about the ones you will make in the future.

It is about equipping your children to Change this world!

I know it feels like we've waited too long and that America is going to collapse tomorrow. That's an evil lie spun to keep you from doing your job. That lie is designed to keep you discouraged and unable to lead your children. Don't believe it! There is still time to get involved, to raise well adjusted mentally strong children that can take over the business world, take over congress and change America for a bright new future.

One of you may even have the 2028 President of the United States living in your home. What would you want his character to be like? What would you want him to care about? If he inherits a miserable country with more problems than we have now - what would you instill in his beliefs to help him stand strong and make this country a better place to live?

"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." Prov. 13:12

Be encouraged dear parent....

you can do this....I will help you!

I know some parents are discouraged and feel hopeless. Our country is changing and it seems the pure and decent things in life are being destroyed. I talk with parents everyday that feel there is nothing they can do to stop the deterioration of this country and their freedoms.

Don't you believe it!

When contemporary psychology tells you it's impossible to help your child - it's a lie!

When contemporary preachers feel there is no place for wisdom and elders in the church - it's a lie!

When contemporary politicians tell you that America must settle for a loss of honesty and integrity because we must coddle criminals and evil lifestyles - it's a lie.

We are still a free nation. Don't give that freedom away by believing a lie.

This website will again be changing over the next few weeks and my ministry and voice will also change. God has been dealing with me about the future of this country and our freedoms. I am not called to be a political spokesperson. I am called to show parents how to change the world through their children. I know we can do this. I am positive that together we can change the world.

I desperately need your prayers. Please pray with me that God will give me and you fresh ideas. I am praying that God will bless and multiply our efforts as we lock arms together and Change America!

I would appreciate any comments you have about this post.

God loves you,


Debbie