What to do with FALL !

Hi Yawl ! It's Fall. At least it's fall here in Ohio. The trees are turning and the air has that crisp fresh feeling. Some people look at fall as a depressing time. Some of Nature is dying and the rest is drifting away into a sleep that will last the harsh winter. For those people it can feel depressing.

I love the fall. Yes, I know that the flowers I've o-o-oed over during the spring are dead and it's my job to sweep the remains away. But as I look into the brilliant colors of oak trees and watch as the sky gives her own brand of fireworks, I want to be just like them.

Huh? Even in death they have found beauty. It's a reminder that we should approach every season of life with our own special flair. Don't drift blandly into any season. No matter what you are called on to do, do it with style - your style.

I think Fall is saying - "I might be dying but I'm going out with a blast! Even if that blast is only in the colors I produce. I will make you see me."

And what can we learn from fall?

1. Fall on your knees and thank God for all his blessings no matter how small.

2. Fall into the wonder of playing with a child.

3. Fall into the arms of the one you love.

4. Fall into a giggling, hugging match with a child.

5. Let that child fall into your arms and feel safe and loved.

6. Fall into the Love of your Heavenly Father.

7. Fall into the belief that out of ashes our heavenly father brings joy.

HAPPY FALL YAWL !!!

God loves you,

Debbie

The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's

How Fun! I just finished watching The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's. You have got to get one of these DVD's for any child you love!




As many of you know, I am the administrator of my church library. We have over 8,500 items in our library. Anytime a new Veggie Tales arrives, I make sure and watch it first. It gives me a way to connect with the children and a fun way to tease with them.

The Wizard of Ha's is not only fun, but it is a wonderful way to help the children you love see their world properly. Why?

Children are like gardens. They need structure and help to grow beautiful flowers. Otherwise they can produce some of the most bizarre weeds.

One of the most devastating weeds can erupt in one of two ways.

First, children are afraid of telling the truth about improper actions. When a child breaks something in the house, takes an item without asking or kicks the dog - it can be terrifying to look into an angry parent's eyes and tell the absolute truth. To cover their fears a child will either lie or make up some ludicrous excuse.

It's important that every parent make it easy for a child to approach them with problems or infractions. I made sure I told my children on a regular basis that if they were honest about any problem - not only would they NOT be punished - but they would be rewarded for telling the truth. It was extremely hard to keep that promise. More than once I had to take a breather in the bathroom before confronting a child about a broken lamp or whatever. Remaining calm and offering praise for the "honesty" rather than punishment for mistakes proved to be a fantastic asset later on.

The second way this "weed" can damage your child is far deeper than just being afraid of you. If they feel they have to lie to avoid your wrath, they will also feel that something is lacking in your love for them. They often convince themselves that if they do enough things wrong, your love will disappear and you will no longer want them.

YOU MUST CONVINCE YOUR CHILD THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR LOVE FOR HIM.

There are times when our children must see our anger in order to understand authority and the consequences of doing wrong. However, that should be saved for truly awful behavior. On the whole, our children must be convinced that our love outweighs our wrath and that we will always love them.

What better way to do that than to teach the story of the Prodigal Son. Veggie Tales inventor Phil Vischer is right. The Prodigal Son is a tough story for small children to understand. In his silly little story of "The Wizard of Ha's" he drives home the love our earthly and heavenly Fathers have for us.

I highly recommend this DVD to you and your family. I'm excited about the good this video can accomplish. So excited, that I'm going to use this item to fill my own Christmas list.

Besides, there's nothing better for you and your children than to pop a bowl of popcorn, find some cozy pillows, turn a movie like this on and giggle/snuggle with your kids.

God loves you,

Debbie


P.S. Thank you for using the above link to Amazon to help support this site.

Working on the website

Hi yawl!

What a week it has been. I am cooking up a lot of surprises for the website. I know it's been a little dull lately waiting for all the changes, but when they are finished I think you will be thrilled. I know I am!!!

I've written several episodes of Aunt Sally, designed several more blogs and prepared many other resources.

Please forgive the intro page that still has my happy birthday greetings. Ken accepted a new position in Freeport, Illinois and will need the next two weeks to get moved. He is very excited about this new position and so are we. We plan to visit him and enjoy his first service. It's all very exciting. Once he is settled he will get a lot of the new stuff posted. Thanks for being so patient.

Jamie is recovering! Praise God! What a blessing your prayers have been. This has turned out so much better than we thought. I was thrilled to see him walking (still favoring one side) with a cane. Go Jamie Go!

Amie is doing well in Florida. She is teaching at a title one school and is working with severely emotionally handicapped children. What a blessing she is there.

Holidays are coming and that means my folks will be here. I can't wait! I'm planning something special between you and them. Be sure and watch for the Jansen family Christmas party. You are invited!

One of the new items on the website will be "Spotlight Heroes". I need your participation. I want to post your hero, their picture and a story about them on the website. E-mail me for a list of questions to answer. How fun! I will get to know your hero and you will get to know mine! And after all....if they are our heroes, they truly need to be in the spotlight.

I also need your participation for our "Prayer Request" page. You have been so wonderful to pray for me, I want to pray for you. Just e-mail your request to me. Please be short and leave out any personal information that would embarrass the people we are praying for. After all - this is on a website and anyone can see it. You can use initials or just say....unspoken request... I promise to pray for these issues everyday and I will be encouraging everyone else to pray with me.

There's lots more coming. Be patient for a little longer and prepare to make this your favorite place to be.

I am praying that every time you visit the website you will feel at home. I hope you will imagine that I'm opening my front door and saying, "Hello darling...I'm so glad you dropped by today. Come on in and let's have a cup of coffee." Whatever you need for the day I hope you find here. A joke, a scripture, some advice, some fun or maybe just a willing heart to listen to your concerns. From now on let's make it from my home to yours...

God loves you,

Debbie

Real love - extra

Mike - I love "discussing" issues with you. Mike has sent several comments about "real love". I agree with all he says except for a few hair splitting issues. Here's what he said,

Here's another thought. Real love grows and changes. Love must be able to change and grow or else it stagnates and dies. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't realize this simple truth. True love changes from the giddy, giggling fuzzy, can't live without you love, to a mature admiration, respect, keep safe at any cost, let me help you grow and stand behind you and cheer you on kind of love. A love that says "go ahead spread your wings, I'll be right behind you". A love that enables us to do the things for the other person that we wouldn't normally do.

I remember not to long ago, when my 7 year old mouthed off to his mother. My first thought was not to reprimand him for being disrespectful to his mother, but remind him that she is my wife and NO ONE talks to my wife in that manner, including him. My wife later admitted to feeling a little more special because I reminded my son that not only was he being disrespectful to his mother, but first and foremost to his father's wife. I believe a person's lack of maturity hinders them from recognizing the subtle changes that occur between a couple who truly love each other. The fuzzy happy feeling goes away and what replaces it is so much better and so much stronger that words fail to describe them. A mature person with real love cherishes the change.

And here is most of my reply.

Real love "usually" does grow and change. If it doesn't, the love may become stagnant - but it may not die. It's just not as good as it could have been. We have to give people room to achieve what works for them - especially in a relationship. I have known couples that married, had children and for them life was over. Neither one of them grew or changed in their lives or in their love. I'll admit their love for each other never reached the highs that I feel my marriage and many others like me have achieved; but for them it was okay. They were the type of people that were 98 years old on their 30th birthday. Their love for each other was mature and strong enough for them on their wedding day and in their eyes didn't need any adjustments. They agreed with 95% of the other partners decisions and life held no surprises. Their life together was okay.

It was okay but sad at times. They never really knew or understood the intimate details of each others hopes and dreams and often didn't seem to connect with inner feelings. Because of that both of them felt alone at times. Perhaps you could say they were stagnant. But they were truly as happy as they were willing to be with their marriage. By your definition they didn't have "real" love. I choose to say it differently. They had real love but not to the heights that others have it. They just didn't have higher goals for their love. I don't believe their love died, it just didn't step up to a higher level.

Let me pose this to you. Perhaps there are different degrees of love. Like a ladder, giddy would be the grass, the first rung would be attraction and the top rung would be God's best real love.

I also don't believe that real Love is ever giddy, giggling fuzzy, can't go a day without touching you. That's romantic love. Love is a process. It's a journey that can take you to new heights if you keep the rules of love and push yourself to constantly keep that other person in the forefront. Here's the progression as I see it.

The first step is attraction. This is when we see someone at a party or in church and we take the second look thinking, "Oh my, now that's what I'm talking about!" We know nothing about them as a person. All we know is that we like what we see.

The second step is attraction II. That's when we follow up on our first attraction and follow the introduction with an attempt to get some information on who they are. We ask questions. We want to know where they live, where they work, if they like the new songs at church, etc.

The third step is when we take attraction II to another level by asking "other" people to weigh in with their opinions. We begin to feed off their comments. If they think he/she is a great match our excitement level begins to build.

The third step is the first date. This is where so many people take the destructive bunny trail. They get excited on the that first date because they find a lot to like. They ruin it by going home with them or getting too physical too quick. What the world is conveniently refusing to tell our young teens is that physical love is like a fire. If you put it in the right confined place (fireplace, bonfire, open pit barbecue), it can bring warmth and great memories. But if you just let the fire have it's way and go where it wants - it is totally destructive. There is no controlling a "wild" fire and it ruins everything in it's path. It's extremely hard to find beauty in the ashes of a fire. And that's what you are trying to do when sex has played a major role in the relationship.

If you are on the road to getting to know someone and you add the element of sex outside of marriage - you destroy the ability to bond on an intellectual level and build deep sacrificial love. Sex adds an emotional level that prevents you from being totally objective and able to walk away when necessary.

If you choose properly and the first date is controlled - you can be free to explore "who" this person really is without your emotions making excuses for their shortcomings. And an added plus...anticipation. Anticipation is a wonderful tool that can keep any relationship exciting. Even married couples should learn the art of anticipation.

The fourth step is to take a journey down the trail of patient wall demolition. That's when you date someone over the course of time - without sex - in order to see them when their defenses are down. You want to find out everything you can about them. How will they react to your friends? Will they still like you when they meet your parents and find out their shortcomings? Will they be able to interact with a crazy family? Do they like children? How do they act when they are disappointed, tired, angry, sick? Do they have financial problems? Do they run from emotional difficulties? Are they honest?

Once all the walls are down and you can see this person clearly, it is now your task to see yourself with them down the road. How will they treat YOU when they have problems at work or when they lose their job? How will they treat YOU if you were to get sick or gain 50 pounds? Are they basing their love on who you really are or is it based on what you can do for them? Imagine every situation you can and put yourself in that situation with them and all their traits and shortcomings. There's nothing you can imagine that won't be worse when you've been married 15 years.

This is about the time that the giddy, fuzzy I can't live without you feeling goes away. You may have thought you were in love before this point, but it was connected to the attraction thing and not at all "true real love." This attraction kind of love is either replaced by the knowledge that this is truly "real" love or it's time to back off and find someone else. Either you see them at that point as a person you want to be around for the rest of your life or you still have doubts. I can't believe the number of people I talk to that have been married for decades yet they still have doubts. I think that's a miserable way to live.

I agree with all the wonderful attributes you placed on true love and I agree that it replaces giddy love, I just think there's a difference in how it evolves and that some marriages can exist without it.

However, I've also known a lot of people that back away from "real, mature" love at this point. They have the mistaken idea that mature love is boring. So they cling to the fuzzies with everything they can. If one person feels this way it's a real problem. The mature partner has to "babysit" the immature person for the rest of their lives and that can get pretty old. But if both people are clinging to the fuzzies they can exist, make it through a lifetime and survive. It won't be the kind of love that takes you to heights unknown - but they can survive.

Unfortunately for both of them they will be disappointed in the other's decisions many times during their marriage. Yet, it is possible to stay together and tell others that they are happily married. Usually in this type of marriage the fuzzies are replaced by buying things, having children, achieving goals at work or even finding new hobbies or sports to take the place of the lonely feeling they have inside.

I hope you can see the difference I'm making. I agree with you that it takes mature people to reach the heights in marriage that will make both people successful, well-adjusted, growing and happy individuals. But sometimes through the "ignorance is bliss" philosophy - some couples have a committed love that mimics "real love" and gets them through life. It may be stagnant - but it doesn't die. It just survives.

Three crickets were born in a old church attic. They chirped happily for most of their little lives until.....one day when one of them said, "I wonder what is beyond the black above us". Every once in a while he could see small flashes of light. The other two crickets had a field day making fun of the first. "You are crazy to even think of that. You don't know what you are talking about. There's nothing there - and even if there was something there it would probably kill you. You are much safer here in our nice warm home."

Not wanting to miss anything good in his life, the first little cricket just couldn't be satisfied. He hopped and chirped his way to the top of the ceiling. One more jump and he would be outside. He called to his friends and again they made fun of him. He hopped on to the roof and couldn't believe his eyes. The world was huge with all kinds of wonderful sights, smells and good things to eat. And look at that sky. It's huge! He stuck his head back through the ceiling and tried to tell his friends. They just didn't understand. Finally realizing that they were happy with what they had, he jumped off the roof and into the cool green grass.

Moral: It is our job to inform others when we experience the "best" life has to offer. But we must always remember that there will be those who can't or won't understand. You can't bully people into exploring God's best. We should allow them to continue in their ignorance, pray for their deliverance and not make fun of them for what they refuse to understand. Instead be thankful that you have experienced the splendor of ALL of God's goodness.


If you want to get in on any discussion.....I WOULD LOVE IT !!!


God loves you,

Debbie

Point of View for Real love

Mike sent me a comment for the last entry. I wanted to publish my reply here. Mike said that "Real love is always a two way street, it has to be or someone will get hurt...bad. " He went on to cite his past experiences and how the pain lingers for years.

You are exactly right about the pain Mike. The hurts caused by bad relationships can overshadow the rest of our lives. And you are right that in order to have a wonderful relationship there must be "real love" on both sides.
It is possible though for real love to exist in a bad relationship.

Real love CAN be a two way street. Real love that will bless an entire family MUST be a two way street. Real love that doesn't produce pain is always a two way street. Unfortunately, I've seen many individuals enter into a relationship where their love was very real but their partner was a total selfish jerk and did nothing but hurt them. The jerk's love was definitely not real, but that didn't diminished the real love of the victim.

My point in pointing out that some love is not real is to ask people to think about what you are getting into. The consequences of a "jerk's selfish" love will be devastating.

If you marry someone that does not have "deep - real- unselfish" love for you, you will suffer in one or more of the following ways.

1. You will lose your freedom. They will control every part of your life.

2. You will be hurt on a regular basis. We all like to think we can suffer for those that we love and do it willingly. We can't. At some point the pain will escalate and be more than we can bear.

3. Some people who are fantastic at sacrifice think they can be the "superman or superwoman" for a person who has no idea how to love. They want to swoop in and save the life of their partner and think that by doing so, the power of that act will be so overwhelming that the selfish person will change. They think that their love will be enough for the both of them and in the end their sacrifice will be acknowledged. - It never happens that way.

4. Maybe the person you are with isn't mean but rather is like a child and just extremely selfish. Maybe he/she doesn't control you, but life is always about them. You can bear it because you have children, or he/she makes a good salary, you do have fun when they are happy and getting what they want; but...life is always about them. It won't take long for you to realize that life for you holds no surprises, no acknowledgement of your sacrifices, no attempt to give you what you want and you constantly feel depressed and disappointed.

5. Because one of the other consequences have happened you will do one of the following:

a. You will blow up like a bomb and blast out of the marriage leaving a path of destruction behind you.

b. You will change and become just like them living in a constant struggle for power and losing all hope of achieving peace.

c. You will die inside. Little by little. Day by day you become less and less of who you were. You give up and suffer in quiet telling yourself that it's better to be abused than to leave. Consequently you watch all your dreams and hopes die with you.


In answer to your comment Mike, I do believe one partner can have "real love" for another person and not have it returned.

But I also believe if you see that selfish nature going into a relationship - RUN AWAY. Don't go there. The belief that your "real love" can make up for their inability to love is false. Your love, no matter how strong will never make up for people who can't see how to return that real sacrificial love.

If you are dating, it is your responsibility to find a person that you can trust that will love you in the same way that you love them. That is your only hope for having a marriage that truly inspires and will be "happily ever after."

If you get even the slightest hint that they won't, please don't go into the excuse mode to make it okay. Stiffen that upper lip, cry those tears and BREAK UP. Walk away. Finding a mate is not the same as picking up a lost puppy. Dysfunctional people don't change because you clean them up and give them everything they want. Dysfunctional people are not changed by sugary love - they will find a way to manipulate it, to push your buttons, to squeeze you for every thing they can while they walk away without even leaving a tip. Your life will never be what it could if you are coupled with someone who doesn't understand real love.

I have counseled with many people who thought they could be the exception. They would be the one that changed another person's life because of their love. Watching their pain when their plan didn't work is sometimes more than I can handle. I am only able to control my anger when I realize how trapped they feel and how important it is to administer compassion to the victim.

Please don't gamble with your marriage. If anything isn't right before the wedding day - even if it's just before you walk down that aisle, Don't do it. Don't gamble with your entire life. Wait for the two-way street!

I personally believe that we should have some people tattooed. If they are selfish, mean controllers that only want their own way and don't understand how to sacrifice for another - let's tattoo their forehead with the letters CJRA. Then every time they are approached by a sweet, kind giving individual - there would be fair warning. The sweetheart would see CJRA and know, "controlling jerk - run away!"

I'm not bitter am I? I've seen too many consequences and cried with two many hurt sweethearts.

What do you think?

God loves you,

Debbie

What is "real" love?

It seems so many people are confused about "real" love. The divorce rate is staggering. Parents disown their children and children seem fine with refusing any kind of relationship with parents or extended family.

Yet, in a recent survey conducted by The Associated Press and MTV on the nature of happiness among America's young people - people ages 13-24 listed "more time with family" as the most important need in their lives. It seems that need is expressed in the media and advertising more than it has been over the last 25 years.

So why the difference in the media now vs. then? Polls are notorious for bad information and they are controlled by the current slant of the media. But it can also reflect true feelings if we step back and look that the forest - not the individual trees.

Societies will believe anything if you shout it long enough, know how to use propaganda and give them incentives to want to accept your philosophies.

There has always been an element of every society that "does it wrong". They take a basically good concept and twist and turn it for their own desires. They use the system and selfishly hurt the good that could come from that philosophy. For example, the 40's -50's lifestyle. Mom stayed home and provided a clean well-ordered home. Dad worked hard to provide an income. Children were required to be mannerly and the home was quiet and calm - a paradise away from the busy world. Everyone was encouraged to have a faith and those that didn't weren't allowed to force their views on those that did have a faith. Hence, Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith.

Someone -- probably a very dysfunctional person decided that since he/she didn't have that type of lifestyle that it wasn't real. So they began to discredit it. The propaganda begins. A throw the baby out with the bathwater type attitude began. Those lifestyles were fakes. Mom really wasn't happy. The children were taken to the woodshed and beaten and the Father was secretly having affairs.

Yes, there were a few dysfunctional families around. But they were not the normal. As the propaganda grew, the psychiatrist climbed on board and then the media and soon we were told that the happy homes of the 50's just didn't exist. As a result we began to act accordingly. We were taught that our children were better off in a daycare. We told ourselves that Mom's that work are happier and that Dad's have no influence on their children. You know the routine....

Crime increased. Children took drugs. Divorce grew. Father's are unhappy. Children are abandoned. Every mom polled in any poll anywhere admits that she feels guilty.

What's wrong? We need love. We are built with an insatiable desire to be loved. Daycare, schools, counselors, teachers, communities, social programs, doctors and friends can never provide the love that we need.

We need the love that says "when everyone else in the world leaves you...I will be here."

We need the love that says, "If you mess up I'm gonna kick your behind."

We need the love that "holds us and just lets us cry."

We need the love that "demands respect and holds the standard high."

We need the love that "is on our side and working to help us even when we are wrong."

And most of all we need sacrificial love that says, "I will never put myself above you. I will always think first about our relationship and second about your needs. Only then will I think about me."

Ahhh....but we have been conditioned to believe that putting others first will put us in danger of being abused. Well....your right! In the process of real love, there will be times when you are taken advantage of. Duh....it won't be a sacrifice unless you do some sacrificing. But if you have built a great relationship, then the other person in that equation will be working to find a way to put you first as well. In time, you will be the recipient of sacrificial love.

Here's the real fact that we don't want to consider. If you are giving "real love", it shouldn't matter if you get it back. Because....if it matters then your love is only a bargain. What you are really saying is "I'll do this for you if you will do this for me." And if you say that - it's not real love.

So my darling teens and spouses and parents.....there's only one question about whether you are giving real love.

"Do I love this person enough that you would be happy to suffer the rest of your life in silence just to know that they were cared for?"

That's a huge decision. Yet it's a question that you can ask before you commit to marriage, before you have a child, before you adopt, before you ever say - I love you.

So many relationships are broken because the answer for the participants has always been - "me first."

Every situation must be judged on it's own facts. But so many times I've watched spouses ruin marriages because they stubbornly wanted their own way more than they loved. It wasn't that either were bad people or that either of them were necessarily wrong. But the compromise couldn't come because one or both of them were selfish.

I've watched young people enter into doomed marriages because they thought the feeling of love was more important than the sacrifice of love. Feelings last for a moment. Real love lasts a lifetime. Unfortunately, they had the mistaken idea that one party could overcome the selfishness of the other party by doing all the giving. It just doesn't work that way. In a good marriage both parties must give 100%. While hubby is trying to give everything he can to support and love his wife, she should be in a race to out give him. Both spouses should want to love each other to death. And neither of them should ever feel any pleasure in hurting the other. They would never rag on them in public, make jokes about them to friends or even discredit their abilities in private. Their job is to lift the other person to their highest. Real love never tears the receiver down.

That same love can then be transferred to their children. Working hard to lift their children to their highest and not only being providers but cheerleaders for their lives as well.

What is real love? Real love is sacrifice in action. If you don't have that....you don't have real love.

Here's a quote from the survey. Kristiana age 17 said, "They're my foundation. My mom tells me that even if I do something stupid, she's still going to love me no matter what. Just knowing that makes me feel very happy and blessed." The study went on to say that most young people in school think marriage would make them happy and want to be married some day. Most also want to have kids. More than half say they believe there is a higher power that has influence over things and that religion is very important. NO ONE said that money makes them happy but over half said their heroes were their parents.

Parents - don't listen to the media! You children don't want money and all the trimmings...your children want real love. They want time with you. Spouses...forget the extra hours at work so you can buy something new...instead begin giving of yourself.

Real love is being there. Real love is giving. Real love is sacrificial.

"A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you." John 13:34

How did He love?

"For God so loved the world that he GAVE his only son." John 3:16

God loves you,

Debbie

Heroes

We all need heroes. Children desperately need heroes.

When I was growing up I had a lot of heroes to look up to. I've wondered if it was because people were more concerned about their reputations and worked harder at having exemplary lives. Liberals want us to believe that people of my generation were just as wicked. Their unacceptable behavior wasn't publicized because we participated in thousands of cover ups and hypocritical lives. Some liberals are so committed to that belief that they try to re-write history in order to destroy heroes of the 30's - 80's.

Watching heroes of Hollywood, Washington and the sports world go down in flames is not only discouraging but mentally depressing. If you watch too much news and let the deeper message of ruined lives sink into your sub-conscious, you begin to wonder if anyone can live a holy life - a heroes life - a life above reproach.

I remember reading about Billy Sunday and the wonderful evangelist work he was doing. He ran campaigns against liquor and it's demons. One of his best known statements is, "I'm against sin. I'll kick it as long as I've got a foot, and I'll fight it as long as I've got a fist. I'll butt it as long as I've got a head. I'll bite it as long as I've got a tooth. And when I'm old and fistless and footless and toothless, I'll gum it till I go home to Glory and it goes home to perdition!"

Now that's a committed and powerful preacher!

I remember reading about George Washington Carver. I still have a paperback book I bought in a book drive when I was about 10. I thought it was wonderful how he turned his life around. He was poor, the son of a slave woman and ultimately an orphan. With a quiet, kind, Christian manor he changed our daily lives with his discoveries. He often quoted from a poem by Edgar A. Guest: "God has equipped you for life, but He lets you decide what you want to be."

All through College I was inspired by the writings of Oswald Chambers in his devotional book "My Utmost for His Highest". I loved the story of Corrie Ten Boom (Holocaust concentration camp survivor) and cried as a friend shared how she met her and listened to her powerful talk about her experiences.

I have many more heroes I could share, but I can hear you all saying..."That's great Debbie, but those are people you would expect to be heroes. Preachers, slaves and Dutchwomen. Actors, politicians and sports people have always been crazy".

Not so fast my friend. I remember getting up before Mom and Dad on Saturday morning to watch Roy Rogers and trigger. Every kid I knew wanted to be a cowboy. We had guns and cowboy/cowgirl outfits. After breakfast and a Roy Rogers episode we would spend the afternoon arresting the bad guys and riding off on a broom stick we called trigger.

Dale Evans married Roy Rogers and led him to Christ. Together they made over 100 episodes together. Their goal was to tell everyone they could about the love of Christ and to create shows with good-natured, non-threatening excitement. They were the most popular cowboy and cowgirl that television has ever known. At news conferences, they would speak about their Christian beliefs even if reporters didn't bring up the subject. At home, Dale told her children, "Your life is the only Bible some people will ever read."

Did you know that Buzz Aldrin the astronaut and second to follow Neil Armstrong and walk on the moon - was a devout Christian? Did you know that each astronaut was allowed to pack a small PPK (Personal Preference Kit) with objects to take to the moon and bring back to earth? After the two astronauts powered down the ship, Buzz Aldrin removed the objects from his PPK and placed them on top of his computer. A little silver cup, a small plastic container of wine, a small piece of bread and a sheet of paper with a Scripture verse written on it. He had saved the bread and wine from a communion service with friends. Aldrin spoke to Houston, "I'd like everyone listening in to pause a moment to contemplate the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own way." The people at Houston respected his request for radio silence. Aldrin unfolded the tiny sheet of paper. As he took the communion, he read the verse of Scripture: "I am the vine, ye are the branches" (John 15:5). Hummm.....what do you want to bet that's not in a contemporary history book?

There are many heroes even today for Christians to admire. Unfortunately in our society, the ungrateful, selfish, spoiled and determined non-Christian segment is trying to discredit everyone around us.

Do you ever feel like you are the only one left trying to serve God with an unblemished life? We all know that no one is perfect, but if you are doing all you can to be what God wants you to be - it's hard to look around and see others so willing to "accept" their failures. I hate the comment, "Well, I'm only human." It's used as if there is nothing we can do to have better lives. Everyone expects you to fail or make huge mistakes so why not just give in and not worry about it. After all, if we are all doomed to cheat, lie, have affairs, lose our tempers, sin, hurt others and in every other way just be "human" - why try?

Ahh....be we are more than human. We are "the Children of God". And as his Children we have a power to be More than human. We have the power to love the unlovable. We have the power to be kind instead of losing our temper. We have the power to inspire our children to greatness. We have the power to accomplish incredible feats for Him. We have the power to leave this world better than we found it.

Yet.....it does seem there are less and less people willing to try. We are bombarded with negative stories of Brittney Spears, Michael Vick, Marion Jones and countless others in the news. It's hard to continue to believe that people are trying to be good when it seems so many give in to their evil desires.

How can you control that feeling - not only for yourself but for your children? Look for the concentrated light around you. The concentrated light exposes heroes in your everyday life.

Dr. Ken and Maggie Crocker (www.pastorken.com) are my parents. They are also my heroes. My mother has been preaching since she was 8 years old. She is the author of "I don't Need to Understand" a song that has been published internationally and has been the lead song on many Christian albums. My Dad has built three churches, been a missionary pilot, an editor, an artist, a missionary around the world and in Mexico and is a published author.

More importantly, those two teach me on a daily basis that anything is possible with God. They have endured pain, suffering and great disappointment at the hands of friends. They have worked every moment of their adult life and given away most of what they have to others in need. They are separated from family and the things most retired people want and need. Yet they love with all their heart and continue to give what they have. They continue to believe that God loves them and that better days are coming. Heroes? They are the best.

Ron's mother Helen Jansen loves to use her hands for God. She has covered the globe with handmade clothes and quilts. Missionaries love to make a stop in the tiny town of Knoxville, Iowa hoping to be invited for dinner at Helen's house. After dinner she will take a look at the missionaries and will likely say, "What are your needs? Can I make the kids some outfits? Do you need quilts for yourself or your work?" Recently she made over 40 baby quilts for an orphanage in Ecuador. Another mound of quilts went to Jamaica. Every Thursday Helen goes to Teen Challenge. She doesn't lead service or even cook in the kitchen. She quietly goes to a large trailer that houses a quilting machine and she makes queen size quilts to be sold as support for their work.

Jim Cole, a young man out of college - just married to Ashley with hopes of a family and bright future is another hero. He has a degree that could earn him a lot more money. Instead he is a counselor at Haven of Rest. On a daily basis he takes the love of God he has in his heart and transforms that love in such a way that it reaches into the heart of many forgotten people. The drug addict, the alcoholic, the homeless, the unlovable and the desperate. Every day Jim is out there fighting to save a life. Fighting to make a difference. Fighting to say, "I will not accept the philosophy that Satan has won. This life is worthy and I will find a way to reclaim it."

Pat and Sue Mullen have three beautiful grand-daughters, Rebekah, Abigail and Leah. Pat would love to retire, but instead he loves his grand-daughters more. When their mother became ill, Pat and Sue assumed full custody of their grand-daughters. At a time when most people are looking at slowing down, Pat and Sue are going to teacher's conferences, buying band instruments, learning the new styles and making sure that their grand-daughters are loved. Every time I see them I am inspired. Their love and hard work shine to all around them. I think their grandchildren are some of the luckiest children I know.

Pam Rufflin is my hero. She has battled cancer for about 6 years now. In that time she has cultivated a home based business and raised one of the nicest young men I know. Pam is strong. Her husband and son are loved. Her home is beautiful. She is strong in her faith, strong in her commitment, strong in her love for her family and strong in her will to live. Every time I get discouraged I think about the e-mails I've received from her and I thank God that she is my hero.

Jen Browning is one of the finest young women I know. She has had several huge disappointments as well as medical problems. Yet she continues to spread joy wherever she goes. She is one of those people that when she enters a room - "all the lights go on and everyone gets happy". You can't be with her for more than a few minutes without feeling good all over. Jen is working on a new project to administer hope to thousands of women.

My son Ken is a hero. He fights for the person that gets lost in large churches. If he finds out that someone has a talent and they aren't being used, he finds a way to bring them into the spotlight. (www.kenjansenmusic.com) Ken is a people person and finds new ways to spread God's love.

My son Jamie is a hero. Even with massive surgery, 9 screws and a plate in his leg, two pins in his hand and confined to a wheelchair - Jamie attended weddings and took every picture his brides wanted. He hobbled around and made sure that his pain would not cause brides pain on their wedding day. (www.jamiejansenphoto.com)

My daughter Amie is a hero. She has suffered a lot of pain in her life. She has been disappointed by someone who promised to love her forever. Yet she works hard to get on with life. She gives 100% to anything she does. She tenderly sits with severe emotionally disturbed children and encourages them to try. She gives hugs and wipes tears and tells me that "If I can make a difference in just one day of a child's life, I have accomplished something wonderful."

My husband Ron is a hero. He works 60 plus hours a week at a job that has changed drastically from what he contracted for. But he views his position as a way he can support the rest of the family. Ron has many talents and is as creative as the rest of us, but he takes his job as provider very seriously. He is the wind beneath all of our wings. He is the reason the rest of us can go out into the world and do what God has directed us to do. Ron's work like many others is the support for those in the limelight. Without him we would not be able to do what we do.

Heroes are all around us. Heroes are around you waiting to be an inspiration to you and your children. Don't look to TV or social personalities. They may let you down. Look to your family, your church, your community, your teachers. Find heroes that you can trust. Find people that are working hard to make a difference in your life as well as others.

Guess what will happen? When you begin to look in your life for heroes your mental attitude will lift and you will find the future more hopeful. Why?

Because now that your mind is firmly fixed on heroes that you can trust, you will begin to realize that if they can make it - so can you!

God loves you,

Debbie

The Father's Eyes

There's a wonderful young man at our church. Andy Cole. Andy is a beautiful person. He is always smiling and loves to talk to people. Andy loves to sing and he devours books from the church library. Andy has a full life. You can't spend more than three minutes with Andy without feeling the love of God.

That is, if you understand God's standards.

Andy will never win a track race. Andy will not be president of the United States. Andy will not receive a recording contract. But Andy is one of God's most precious treasures. Andy has a great ministry.

You see, Andy reminds us on a daily basis that God loves all of us. He loves us when we are at our best and he also loves us when we are at our worst. He loves those that pose for the cover of Christianity Today and he loves those of us who hide from taking family portraits.

God looks down at his creations and is so proud when we resist evil. He pokes his chest out and punches one of the angels to say - "Did you see that? That's my child!"

God is disappointed when we do wrong but he's always faithful to say, "Awe, come on....You can do it. You are my child! Get back in there. Try again. I love you!"

So many things have happened this summer. But every Sunday when I enter church I look for Andy. I've sat behind him and listened as he struggled to sing along with a chorus. I've watched while he shifted his head in agreement with the sermon. I've prayed for him when he was coughing and having a hard time breathing.

Andy is multi-handicapped. He sits in one position in his wheelchair, barely able to move his head and hands. But...Andy is my greatest inspiration! He reminds me that God's love is based on what God sees and not what we see. God's love is based on the inner self not on the ability of our body.

I've watched Andy's parents, Charlene and Don. They laugh with Andy and help him interact with others. They hold his hands when they pray. Dad will gently rest his arm on the back of the wheelchair and look at Andy with a father's pride. After church they patiently load him into the van talking him through every move.

That's God's love. I want that kind of love. And guess what - those eyes, the eyes of an adoring parent. That's God's eyes.

Have you failed at some task today? Do you feel less than perfect? Are you struggling to get through the day?

Remember Andy.

Remember that he has touched everyone in a large church. He is making a difference in the lives of those around him. If God can do that for Andy - how much will he also love you!

Thank you Andy - you are the best !

God loves you,

Debbie

Lies and Logic

I try to make this blog an inspiring discussion on many different subjects. I try to avoid some subjects because they are too absurd or they are so detailed it would take weeks to cover just the basics.

However, I read an article on AOL that I think will help many of you see the basic problem with a "totally" liberal lifestyle.

The article was on Rosie O'Donnell. I don't like to watch reality TV or most talk shows. For a thinker -- those shows seem like so much dribble. I don't like the reality shows because I want to enroll the participants in either a college or relationship class. I don't like talk shows because I don't take advice from a dysfunctional person. If they don't have their personal act together - I don't have faith in their philosophies.

When I was in college I wanted to write a book on parenting. I saw a lot of problems with the ones I was required to read. When asked when I would start, I replied, "Once my children are 30 and I can be sure my parenting knowledge had been proven.

I have no confidence in political and television liberal personalities. Why? Because if you look deep into their lives you will find inconsistencies. And, just so you know....if I look deep into a Conservative life and find inconsistencies - there's not a whole lot of chance that I will believe what they say either.

Inconsistency is the same as a hypocritical life. People who say one thing and do something else. It can also be likened to someone who can't stay on task. A person who likes to ride the fence - tossing back and forth between one side and the other. It's also a person who plays the odds. You know that type. He's all for the sanctity of life until some voter says she couldn't vote for someone who wouldn't let her choose. Then he says something like, "Well, I'm all for pro-life unless the mother wants to choose for herself."

Since I have a degree in psychology I can verify for you that Rosie is a very sick lady. And from the Biblical standpoint she is also in trouble with eternity. An unfortunate side effect to all her rantings is that uninformed people have chosen to believe her. Young girls who would have otherwise had a perfectly normal life have been enticed into the gay lifestyle. Children who could have been adopted by normal parents and had a wonderful childhood are now subjected to liberal bias and will be lead down an impossible road.

But the problem is not Rosie. We've had sick people in this world for a long time. The problem is that too many people do not understand proper logic and how to see a lie long before it's thrown.

The AOL article entitled "Rosie's tell all - A train wreck" is a perfect example of lies and logic. The first half of the article trashes Rosie's book. It says that you need a psych degree to tell the insightful from the nutty. The author McClurg leads you to believe that Rosie is a sick woman crying out for help and that the book is the rantings of a mad woman. She shares a lot of quotes from her book including Rosie's rant, "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America."

Apparently McClurg's boss came in and looked over her shoulder because within a few sentences the article does an about face calling her book, "O'Donnell in Detox provides a big blast of fresh air in an industry that enshrines shallowness." So what is this article telling us? Which part of the article is true? Is Rosie crazy or insightful?

Logic that you can build your life on does not react like flip flop Kerry. Real logic, solid life building logic is filled with facts and order and doesn't let you down in the middle of a crisis.

I take days, sometimes months or even years to mull over a problem and decide what the proper logic is for a situation. I gather the facts, try out my hypothesis in different situations and look for inconsistencies in my thinking. I have a basic knowledge of some unsolved problems and have been called on to give advice to people - but I'm still working to solve the inconsistencies. And I'm the first to tell my clients - "This may not work - I'm still working on this area."

When I face God I want to know that He can follow my life logic and that He will be proud of the wisdom I've acquired. I personally think in our own small way we can all be a Solomon in our own lives.

And where do I get my information? From the Bible first, from prayer second and from education third. The most important thing I pray for is wisdom. I want wisdom to help me decipher the information and wisdom to help me see the lies and wisdom to help develop a plan to live by.

You can have all of that too! Don't give up. Keep trying and working on your beliefs. Read your Bible, pray for wisdom and keep you eyes and ears open. God will help you live the best life possible!

God loves you,

Debbie